


Shot. Chaser.

by surrealism



Category: One Piece
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Withdrawal, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Drug Use, Drunk Driving, Dubious Consent (Drug Use), Heavy Angst, Human Chopper Bepo and Brook, Hurt/Comfort, LawLu - Endgame, M/M, Mild Blood, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:08:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 79,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27205672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrealism/pseuds/surrealism
Summary: Law found an escape in alcohol until one day it becomes the source of new loss and heartbreak. In the search to navigate his trauma, he meets Luffy - a person who may just be his guide.
Relationships: Donquixote Doflamingo/Trafalgar D. Water Law, Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Comments: 158
Kudos: 139





	1. Everyday

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! I am pretty new to the One Piece fanfiction writing, less so to it overall. But, I managed to write this one after being inspired by a lot of other hurt/comfort (?) fics I'd read.
> 
> Also, I am not sure if I want to be explicit or mature tag here so apologies if things change over time.

_**05:00**. _ **_Vodka._ ** **_1.5 fl oz._ **

Law Trafalgar was a creature of habit, first and foremost.

It wasn’t that he chose to be. For him, they were something that helped keep him grounded and focused. Helped him to stave off the sound of the grinding he started to hear in his head when the gears would turn just a bit too much, a bit too fast, and right before they came to a grinding halt.

Those repetitve tasks were something to lubricate those gears. He just needed something to be habitual about.

Law could feel his head pounding as he tried to get his bearings, his head in his hand as he sat up in his empty bed. The alarm going off on his phone played the loudest, most ear-piercing melody he could find. Waking up was not something that he considered to be pleasant, not for lack of trying. His post-work life and his actual work life were at odds much like night and day themselves.

With his free hand, his arm gave the pillow next to him measured slaps with hopes that eventually his arms would search for his phone better than the organs whose job it was to. Eventually, his palm was met with cold plastic and vibrations that made his nerves itch. He pulled the phone up to his face and let himself be basked in the artificial glow of a phone screen. The brightness on the phone was at the lowest setting – a feature that night Law always bothered to do before bed so that morning Law wouldn’t be accosted so early and one that morning law hated as it made the morning cumbersome due to his tired state.  
  
Old habits die hard.

Law placed his thumb on the screen, his other four digits helping to cradle the box in his palm as he tapped the screen and put in his pin number. The ‘H’ on the middle knuckle bounding up and down while he swiped down to find a series of texts that made him huff under his breath.  
  
 **Cora (00:50): Left your key underneath the fake bird skull by the bushes  
**

**Cora (00:59): Also, you’re out of canned coffee. Consider it my tip for being your taxi driver**

**Cora (01:00): :-)**

Damn. Now he had to make coffee this morning which he just didn’t have the energy for today.

Or most days, really.

Keeping that in mind, he decided getting up now was as good a time as any and begun his morning dance. His legs and his brain were in competition for who could make things hardest for him in the morning and while he wasn’t keeping score, there was always an unspoken gold medal hanging on each of his knees. Moving carefully, one foot met the cold wooden floor followed by the other.

Good. Baby steps.

Law let his head be parallel with the ground for a bit while he considered his options. He could always just quit being a doctor. He could call in now while it was still early and while there were still other young student doctors in this world with far less baggage and less rent space in their own heads.

It was a gamble he made with himself every morning and evidenced by the fact that he was on his feet and on the way to the shower, he wasn’t cut out to go making big bets in casinos just yet.

 _**06:00**. _ **_Whiskey._ ** **_4 fl oz._ **

Law sat on the end of his bed looking at the full-length mirror against the wall as he adjusted his yellow and black hoodie. The suds from his toothbrush dripping onto his shirt betrayed the fact that he actually did want to look good for his job, he just wasn’t very interested in anything else other than trying to be comfortable before he had to change into scrubs for the entire day.

 _Ding.  
  
_ “Ah.” He sighed with content, almost reflexively.

Law raced back to the bathroom to finish his grooming – A spit into the sink, a gargle of mouthwash, and a quick and furious comb of his hair. The last bit he found unnecessary given he would just throw a hat on but still part of his habits – before making his way out to the living room. The curtains were pulled back, fighting with the morning sun that crept into his window and which Law fought to keep out on any given day.

Thank goodness for blackout curtains.

“Cora, you bastard.” He growled to himself, pouring coffee along with this and that into his travel mug. While he didn’t appreciate being made to cut into his morning like this, it was nice to be able to adjust the coffee to his liking more. The canned stuff was far too finicky even if it was convenient.

Law reached into the cupboard and stuffed a few plastic bottles into his backpack before making his way across the room. Just as he got to the door, he felt a rhythmic buzz in his pockets. He once again grabbed his phone and looked at the screen.

He was met with the words “Pengy” followed by several heart and eggplant emoticons. The profile picture was a photo of Law – eyes closed, positioned with one hand under his chin and the other holding up the peace sign. Barely seen was the hand behind his, making it obvious that this was posed.

His eyes squinted for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared until…

Oh.

He lifted the phone to his ear while making a mental note to kill Penguin.

“Yes?”

“You sound grumpy. Don’t you love my new name in your phone? Also, that girl Carrot says she’d like to see you again.”

“You know, if I had only seen the name, I would have thought you were a scam caller. You’re lucky this wasn’t an emergency.”

“Are you sure the Water part of your name isn’t supposed to be ice? You’re so cold.” The last part of the sentence was dripping with faux-hurt.

“What do you want?”

Law couldn’t believe his luck. Being one of the younger attendings at the hospital meant that he didn’t have a lot of friends to begin with. Not really something that bothered him as he’d rather everyone stay as far away from him as possible and his demeanor helped him in that endeavor. The dark circles, near-permanent scowl, and eyebrows that hung close to his eyes to display his only emotions of neutrality or anger were the traits everyone knew of him if they didn’t already know he was a doctor well into his field only at twenty-six.

Even so. He’d somehow made friends – or been badgered into seeing these people frequently outside of work, depending on who you ask – with three of the senior residents at the hospital. He regretted going into the critical care field sometimes since the only people willing to go into it were people who could remove themselves from emotional situations, be very involved in their jobs, and also have a morbid sense of interest in what exactly happens to trauma victims.

So, him.

And he didn’t really like himself all that much, let alone several more with far greater outlooks on life.

“Well, I was hoping you could bring Sachi and I some coffee and croissants from the shop by your place. You know, the one with the incredible mochas?”

“And a scone!” Another voice popped up in the background.

“And a scone for Bepo.”

There was a long pause, Law once again playing the morning gambling game where he couldn’t figure out if he wanted to just stay inside and return to his cocoon or just fold to the outside influences that kept him outside in and in the real world.  
  
“…You’re going to pay me back in cash when I get there or else I’m eating all of this in front of you.”  
  
At once, he could hear a chorus of laughter come from the other side of the phone at the empty threat.  
  
“Thanks Law! We’ll buy you drinks next time we’re out.”  
  
He knew he shouldn’t have told them he hated bread.

\-----

Law sat on the bench of the train station, his coffee mug in one hand holding a cardboard carrier precariously weighed out with 3 other cups. He leaned backwards onto the wall before remembering that he’d had several pastries in a bag inside and pulling himself forward again. While he would be otherwise okay with smushing Penguin and Sachi’s treats, he wasn’t sure if Bepo could handle yet another broken scone.

He was fragile.

**“6:30  
  
D4 line – Medical district (Acacia/Dressrosa General/Sebio Hospital) arriving in: 10 minutes”  
  
**

Read a flashing screen above Law, and he mentally took note of how much time he had to really relax. **  
  
**This was the only benefit of public transit in his mind as it at least gave him a chance to get his thoughts together. Being a doctor was far more noisy for him than he had hoped it would be and not even in the sense of the patients – though he found people were not very calm or quiet about things like heart attacks or stab wounds and it was hard to blame them for that.

He stared at nothing in particular, letting his mind wander while his eyes stayed forward and soaked in all the outside stimuli. There was a man on the phone one bench over who was yelling aggressively into the air, the bud in his ear assumed lest anyone want to think he was crazy. Two women sharing a set of earbuds to listen to whatever new hit song was out and proceeding to scream the song at the top of their lungs, otherwise rendering the earbuds useless. Groups of people pouring in and out of the incoming and going trains, clicking and scraping of metal against metal as the train stopped and started again.

These were all things Law was generally able to tune out with ease, and he did so as he begun to close his eyes.

“Mama, lets go!”

A small girl’s voice hitched right into his ears and pulled his eyes back open.

“Okay, Okay. Yes, let’s go.”

Another voice, that of a woman. Softer, and much less enthusiastic than that of the girls. It was fairly early, after all.

He looked back down to see a small family: A little girl with straight brown hair, tied into pigtails that hung softly on either side of her shoulders. In tow, a couple. A woman with brown hair and soft, grey eyes. She was the spitting image of the little girl if you somehow managed to turn the clock back twenty years. And right next to her, a man with black hair and glasses with a huge smile on his face as he tried to caution the girl not to get so far ahead of them. They couldn’t have her getting lost.

Law just blinked.

He could feel the pit of his stomach stirring – it wasn’t the first time he would have this gnawing in his abdomen, and he doubted it would be the last. He was just sure that after five years, maybe seeing something like that wouldn’t immediately give him such a visceral reaction and especially not so early in the morning.

The grinding sound built up slowly at first almost like that of a car trying to start when everything inside wasn’t firing correctly. He almost wondered if that sound was an approaching train though if it was, he’d rather he been watching for it from the tracks so it could hit him properly. The palms of his hands started to sweat underneath the cup, and he grit his teeth as if trying to will them through each other and into his gums.

Before he knew it, he was breathing heavier than usual. His grip on the cup tightened as he tried to work against the sweaty palms and the now loud consciousness that was forcing its way back into his current reality.

He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head as if he was going to try and erase what he just saw through sheer belief in himself, taking in and letting out deep and controlled breaths to try and find something he could control.

It seemed to work for just a moment as everything went quiet, the darkness in his mind accompanied by an echo as if he were in an empty room.

Then. As if seemingly on cue.

Wailing.

He took a big gulp from his cup.

\-----

“Here.”

The looks from the junior doctors was almost too good to bear. Law would’ve let himself soak it in if he wasn’t already annoyed that he had to say the word ‘Mochaccino’ to the young barista at his neighborhood shop. With the way he looked, it almost felt like a prank.

“YES! You’re the best. You’re a lifesaver and we are forever in your debt.”

“I didn’t even know coffee could taste this good…”

“Is it possible to die from happiness?”  
  
Various exclamations came after having spent what they called “Zombie Hours” at the hospital – the hours of 8 pm until 8 am weren’t kind to anyone, let alone someone in training, and the other attendings were far less kind about breaks even towards the end of the shift.

“Jeez, you guys. It’s just coffee, and the zombie hours are way more interesting as far as the kinds of cases that you get. So, I can’t see why you’re complaining.”

“Then why don’t you take them for us?”

“Can’t. I’ve already paid my dues. Besides, if they left me to the overnight shift then none of the other attendings would actually get to do their jobs and, unfortunately, I can’t make anymore enemies at this hospital. Doctor Kureha would have my head.”

The three residents closed their eyes and nodded seriously in a way that almost made Law think he was being made fun of. Before he could figure it out, they were stuffing their faces further and grabbing whatever looked like a patient chart, bolting away from the doctor’s station.  
  


Law looked down at his watch. 07:15. They didn’t really have any reason to be THAT concerned with getting back to work and let alone towards the end of their shift.

  
“I see you’re still spoiling them.”

Ah.

He turned around to see Dr. Kureha watching him, clipboard tucked under her arm and her signature grin creeping through the wrinkles on her face. While she was a doctor, it was hard to tell exactly when and how she’d gotten into this profession. She wore her hair down constantly, despite the contamination concerns Law and a few others had about it. In addition, sunglasses on her head, bellbottom jeans and a skintight t-shirt were regular parts of her white coat uniform.

Was it 40 years ago or 100 years ago?

Law put an arm behind his head and scratched quizzically, trying to seem nonchalant but kicking himself for even being put in a position where he had to actually talk to the chief of medicine of all people.

“Well, they happened to catch me while I was on my way out to the station. Otherwise, I would probably have let them be. But zombie hours are hard enough, so I suppose they’d need something keeping them going.”  
  


She laughed. “I suppose so. You just can’t let them get too used to it or else they’ll start expecting that. Doesn’t do a doctor any good to expect nice things in a profession like this, especially not one in your area.”  
  
Law smirked and nodded as if to agree, which seemed to satisfy the older woman enough that she handed him the clipboard she was holding.

“I’m supposed to go talk to a patient’s family about their dying son but, unfortunately, I have some other matters to attend to. I trust that you can handle this one, right Law?”  
  
Right.

He watched her walk down the hallway before looking over the chart, sighing, and grabbing another swig from his coffee cup.

It would be a long day.

 **_16:00_. ** **_Peach Schnapps._ ** **_2 fl oz._ **

Law cursed himself for wearing black scrubs.

Sure, they seemed to hide all of the various bodily fluids he might run into with patients over the day. But, they did nothing to hide him from the lingering summer heat that plagued the outdoor eating area.

He wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of sitting outdoors. But, most of the other doctors wouldn’t come this way, instead preferring to eat in the cafeteria so that they could mingle with their cohorts and complain about the various shortcomings that came with working in a hospital. Complaining was fun, but it brought with it its own issues like accidentally offending someone.

He wasn’t sure he could handle the fallout from that.

Again.

At least outside, it was possible to people watch which gave him something to occupy his time with. In his hands, he swirled a can of seltzer while sitting under an umbrella at one of the picnic tables. Turns out, along with tattoos to look at, he needed other things to occupy his hands like always having a drink in them.

He wondered if that made his vices come full circle.

“Um. Hi –“

Letting his eyes wander, he observed the coffee shop right across the street, right next door to the pharmacy and next to that, a florist. There’s a metaphor about life in there somewhere, he was sure.

“Excuse me – “

Looking down at his watch. 4 pm. He’d still have to be here for at least another 2 hours. It almost seemed like a punishment that he wasn’t allowed to get off of work during happy hour.

His checks would be a lot bigger that way.  
  
“Can I sit here?”

Law snapped out of it, finally, to notice the sandy haired kid standing next to him. He was short, small enough that the daydreamer himself couldn’t help but wonder if he was some middle schooler who was waiting for one of his parents to get discharged. The bag of malted milk balls made the mystery all the more. Fortunately, the scrubs and the name tags filled him in enough that he didn’t have to guess.

Dr. C. TONY-TONY – INTERN

“Ah, you must be one of the students.”

“Oh! Yes! Hi, I’m Doctor Tony. You can just call me Chopper though, sir.” He said, popping one of the candies into his mouth with a smile. He seemed pleased enough with himself that he’d managed to get through a social interaction with an attending after plopping himself down.

“Well… I’m Doctor Trafalgar but you can call me Law. Everyone does. Doctor Trafalgar is my dad.” He said, delivering his last joke so deadpan that the intern did a double take to get some reassurance from him.

“Ah! Um. I’m sorry, I don’t think I can call you Law, Doctor Trafalgar. Uh. I’m supposed to be in one of your rotations soon and it seems unprofessional to call you that – “

Chopper was stuck, suddenly rambling out of sheer nervousness after meeting the senior doctor and one who wanted him to be so familiar at that. Law decided it wasn’t worth the stress and sighed, taking another huge swallow from his drink.

“It’s nice to meet you, Chopper. I look forward to working with you.”

Chopper froze before nodding and stuffing a few more candies into his mouth. Keeping himself busy with chocolate seemed to be the best way to handle this situation and it wasn’t a strategy Law was totally against.

A few more minutes of awkward silence later before he felt his phone buzz, a blessing in disguise as he could feign busy for the last bit of his lunch break.

“Excuse me, I have to take this. Nice meeting you.” He said with a wave, finishing the seltzer and throwing the can into the trash.

**_19:30_ **

He was free. He was finally free.

It wasn’t that working at a hospital was terrible, it was that 12 hours of trying to keep up with his own body plus taking care of other people took a toll more than he cared to admit.

It was its own reward.

“Can I get an old fashioned?”

The man next to him was talking to the bartender and somehow, even with feet of countertop space, he had decided that leaning over Law to deliver that message was the best course of action.

The bar was dim save for the overhead lights above the bar, pool, and gambling tables. The owner wasn’t exactly shy about trying to give options to spend money at. Behind the bar, a wall of various alcohols ranging from the well alcohol – which Law almost considered more paint thinner than drinkable – and the top shelf stuff which seemed to go untouched save for the owner.

Law looked up at the extremely tall and lanky bartender who immediately obscured his view, grabbing bottles of this and that from said wall, and pouring them into the glass with such precision that it was almost like dinner and a show.

How nice.

After the man excused himself, Law shot him a glare that certainly lent itself to the phrase ‘if looks could kill’.

“Sorry Law. You’re not the only customer I’ve got here tonight.”

“I know. But,”

He pinched the space between his eyebrows with his index finger and thumb.

“Did he have to be so close to me?!”

The bartender just laughed which made Law scowl more. His blonde hair and his shoulders bounced in unison as his smile stretched from ear to ear. The laughing almost turned into guffawing if he hadn’t had the mind to look back at the tired doctor glaring at him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He said, wiping a tear from his eye.

Law sighed.

“It’s okay, Cora. I know between you and baby five on bar, people much prefer to come to you. You’ve got less…”

He glanced over at black haired woman who was blushing furiously at one of the patrons who had asked if she could give them a ‘sex on the beach’.

“…interpretations.”

Corazon pretended he couldn’t see her, instead opting to clean up a bit of spilled alcohol next to him. Law, without looking up from his phone and sipping a vodka soda, could feel the waiting question weighing on his friends mind.

“So, how many drinks was it today?”

Like clockwork.

“Two. Don’t worry.”

The bartender made an unconvinced sound and for good reason. Law had been a regular patron of his for years now, their routine was the same. He would come in, order a few drinks, chat with him about work or his friends that he maintained weren’t his friends, and then either end up needing a ride home or a cab.

The doctor wondered if this was what it was like to have a stray cat. You feed them, they leave, they come back with all kinds of new scars – and sometimes new friends – and you can’t quite reign them in, but they’ll let you get close to scratch an ear at times.

“And that’s two out of…?”

“Enough to keep the chief of medicine out of my hair, tell a family about their 19-year-old comatose sons multiple organ failure, and stay standing.”

“Ah. So, no more than any regular day.” Corazon moved on to shining glasses with a cloth.

The air hung between them for a moment, a reaction that wasn’t new to Corazon whenever he had asked Law about his drinking habits. Law usually forgave him whenever he offered the next drink with top shelf alcohol for middle shelf prices. Being friends with the co-owner had its benefits.

“So, what else would you – “

He was cut off by the sound of heavy footsteps coming from the upstairs. A low chuckle enveloped in a large pink feather coat could be heard from upstairs. Law wondered how it was even possible for a jacket to be just as loud as a person, but thought against questioning it after being several drinks in.

Pointed red sunglasses were flanked by short, blonde hair – the complement of it against the tanned skin made the whole thing feel like a costume if he wasn’t already aware of who he was talking to. The man was as tall as Corazon, but his muscles were far broader and sculpted as if further amplifying the differences between the two of them.

The man grinned, the smile taking up most of his face.

“Law! My favorite customer, how are you?”

If one caught more flies with honey than with vinegar, that smile was vinegar.

“I’m doing fine, Doflamingo.”

“I see you’re getting along with Ros- “he paused, “Corazon pretty well. That’s good. I’m glad he’s found a loyal customer in you.”

Law could see Corazon wince slightly at the remark, both due to the name slip up and the phrasing of ‘customer’ for Law. The bar decided on having code names for their bartenders early on in their opening after an overzealous customer followed one of the bartenders he thought was cute home. She didn’t work at the shop for long after that.

The owner decided he could bother with his name as it was still good for business.

“Well, if you need anything at all, just let either of us know.” He cooed, slipping a sheet of paper down on the counter before walking away.

The doctor could feel the air becoming palpably tense as it always did when it came to Doflamingo. He didn’t need to grab the sheet of paper to know it was his business card with his personal phone number written on the back. He was more than relieved when Corazon slipped it from the counter and into his pocket when he was certain the coast was clear.

Getting flirted with by the owner of his favorite bar was, unfortunately, also a habit that seemed to follow him daily.

**_23:00_ **

“I’m fine.”  
  
“You aren’t, you fell asleep at the bar again.”  
  
“We must have different ideas of what being fine is.”

Black hair pressed against the window of the passenger seat car, streetlights pouring across it in succession as the quiet sounds of jazz made for the usual soundtrack of their evening.

His head was spinning, and Law knew that he wasn’t going to be able to sit up properly but leaning against the window really didn’t lend itself to the façade he was trying to keep up. His only saving grace was that Cora wasn’t actually expecting him to act human, just not behaving like a corpse was enough.

“What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?”

“8 am, they’re being quite kind to me with my current schedule. It’s too bad I can’t come visit you during happy hour.”

“That’s probably a good thing.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t like people, and that’s when we get most of our customers.”

Law smirked and let out some air through his nose. For Corazon, that was basically a laugh.

“You know me a little too well. Not sure if I want that in a guy who’s helping me feed an addiction.”

“I’m not a therapist, and I’ve given you enough pamphlets for rehab facilities to know you’re not looking for one.”

There was a bit of sarcasm and bite behind that last joke. Law was too drunk to care. Cora was probably the only person who actually knew what kind of lifestyle he was living, and he intended to keep it that way.

If anything, a bartender who doesn’t can't spot an alcoholic is either blind to his customers needs or one that doesn’t want money.

He wasn’t sure which one seemed worse.

**23:15**

Pulling up to Law’s apartment, Corazon turned off the car and looked over at the shallow breathing man in his passenger seat. He wondered if it would be worth going through the trouble of asking if Law needed help before deciding that they could skip it.

Just for tonight.

Wrapping his arms around Laws legs, he was always acutely aware of just how heavy a person who seemed to subsist entirely on sushi and alcohol could still be. Still, Law being much smaller than him made orienting him for easy carrying less of a task and helped him be willing to do this night after night. While he made his way up the stairs, Law snored and writhed, his eyes tightening and eyebrows furrowing before he would go completely stoic again.

Corazon went about his usual business – grabbing the spare key from the hiding spot, taking Law inside and surveying the area for any hazardous materials before walking back to his bedroom. He quietly instructed Law, with whatever consciousness he had left, to lift his arms so he could take his hoodie off then went on to remove his pants and putting him fully into the bed.

Before heading out, he went to Laws fridge and sighed at the sight. Nearly empty save for some bananas, a six pack of beers, and several containers of prepackaged food from the delivery service he got weekly even if he threw out most of it.

Grabbing a banana, he made his way back to the door and hung Laws hat on the hook.

“See you tomorrow.”


	2. Suppression

Corazon was standing behind the bar, his long fingers proving useful for him as he tried to push a few more napkins into the holder on the counter. It was one of those spring-loaded kinds that should, in theory, allow for all of the little towelettes to remain accessible while they were used for the evening. He mused why Doffy had insisted on this one rather than an open dispenser, but his brother insisted this meant more napkins could be out at once.

Which meant for an otherwise tedious task for Corazon when he was supposed to also be doing his bartender duty.

“And it’s just so frustrating, Cora. I’m an extremely good doctor – I know – but it isn’t as if I don’t have my own things I have to do,”

Corazon nodded, humming at the appropriate places to make it seem as if he was really in tune while the war raged on with the napkin holder.

“So now I have to – “

_Almost…_

“Oi! Are you listening to me, Cora?!”

As if saying Corazon’s name was the weirdest spell imaginable, a flurry of white came flying out between him and the napkins started to get caught up by the air conditioning and floor drying units behind the bar, the pieces gliding this way and that to gracefully avoid the slender digits frantically swatting at them.

There was silence on the other end of the bar as Law watched intently, forgetting about his gripes momentarily as the worlds most uncoordinated man went toe to toe with some paper. It was a dance that Corazon had to be careful with or else he would –

**THUD.**

Fall right on his ass.

He could hear the echoes of a cartoonish belly laugh followed by several loud thumps of a hand slapping against the countertop echoing through the room. For the bartender, Law's annoyance was apparent even from the floor as he looked over someone who he considered “a ball with dreadlocks” and was the likely source of the sound. Buffalo was the other bartender tonight and probably the only one aside from Baby Five who was enthusiastically for Corazon hurting himself.

Though tonight, he could tell there was something different in Law’s tolerance for the man.

“Quiet, you!” Law hissed with venom that even Corazon himself wasn’t totally expecting. The laughter stopped as quickly as it had come and the whole bar was silent, awkward glances and coughs filled the space and Law sheepishly came to realize he’d just barked at one of La Corrida’s favorite bartenders.

Ouch. He must be having a rough night.

Corazon picked himself up off of the wet bar floor to see Law pretending not to notice all of the daggers now drilling into his back. He rubbed a hand through his hair, trying to smile at Law who kept a hand over his mouth with the other rapidly tapping against the wooden bar counter with heavy and rhythmic precision.

“Ah,” Corazon couldn’t hide his exasperation. “Doffy is going to be annoyed with me.”

Leaning his head back down, he was met with a glass obstructing his view of the surly doctor as he lifted the glass of his only beer for the evening to his lips. The tan liquid moved violently, first pulling backwards before falling forward again as the drink was now being chugged.

It was as if he were competing to see if the drink or his current embarrassment would be the first to go. The glass hit the wood with a thud and Law came back up for air, breathing through both his nose and his mouth with a rugged sigh.

“Sorry about Buffalo.” he began, picking up the glass to toss along with the other dirty dishes.

“It’s okay, I can usually tune him out on most nights but not now. Not with work.”

Corazon nodded. He tried not to pry into anything with Law’s work – not that he would understand any of it anyways – so he always opted to just go the route of helping him get his mind off of it as quickly as possible.

Well, assuming things other than drinking would help.

“What else can I get for you then, Law? We’ve got a really smooth gin in. I think you might really like it.”

“Can’t.”

Corazon wasn’t sure if his expression looked as incredulous as Law received it, because the next thing he knew he was being shot the most confused and angry look from the doctor who was back to tapping his fingers on the counter.

“What’s that look?”

Oh, now he’d done it.

“Were you even listening to me?! Are you joking, Cora?! Why do I even come here to talk to you if you don’t listen, you clumsy clown!”

Corazon only had a moment to react as Law started tossing peanuts and wasabi peas at him from the complementary snack bowl next to his drink. He tried to hide behind his hands as the salty pellets managed to slip into whatever crevice they could find on his person, eventually giving up and holding open his mouth to catch them. At least if he were going to get punished, he’d try to minimize the mess.

Law stopped as he realized this, now silently fuming as he heard crunching coming from in front of him. It was fun messing with the otherwise grumpy doctor.

“I’m on call tonight, you jerk.”

\---

Law stewed quietly in his annoyance as Cora ate his weaponized snacks. The man knew how to press Law's buttons but staying mad at him was an exercise in futility.

On Call. It was another one of those unexpected and seemingly mutually exclusive things with his current lifestyle that Law was able to manage pretty well. For him, working to keep his blood alcohol content at the level of “functional” but still intoxicated required constant monitoring of just how much he’d had to drink in any given work-day.

Otherwise, he would be forced to explain something like a spleen where a heart should be.

Unfortunately, being on call played hacky sack with that balance. His brain knew once he was off of work, all bets were off, and they could plunge deeply into the ethanol abyss without a care in the world. Without that, the little bits he did drink throughout the day wouldn’t be enough to keep the irritability and mild nausea away.

It was essentially his way of playing catch up for just being buzzed at work instead of his preferred state of completely out of it.

So, once he was forced to get off of work and still remain available enough to do something like surgery, it meant he was still teetering on the line between reality and paradise.

For someone who was constantly exhausted, this only added to it.

“I see. You’ve mentioned once before that they have you come in to help, but usually the other doctors take care of it because you’re – ” Cora paused and Law watched his lips twist as he chose his words carefully, “A very particular person to work with.”

“I micromanage my OR and my surgeries which means I’m constantly breathing down the neck of those who operate with me and nobody wants to deal with that, I barely have some of the nurses on my side.” Law corrected dryly.

He wasn’t exactly blind to his behavior at the hospital and really, the only thing keeping the management on his side was his impeccable record.

“Well, what are you going to do? How long are you on call?”

“Until 5 am.”

He watched as Cora glanced at the clock opposite him on the wall, seeing the minute and hour hand sitting right at the 12 and his eyebrows rise as he realized the extra five hours of tense sobriety ahead.

“They gave me tomorrow off and, much to my surprise, I requested extra days off for this week so at the very least, I won’t have to be in this hell for much longer.”

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Law slapped at his waist, reflexively grabbing the pager and lifting up his arm to throw it before he remembered that he actually needed it tonight. He looked down at the screen and his expression soured.

“Ah, I have to go Cora. Thanks.” He said as he walked, pulling out his wallet to slap down whatever largest denomination Beri he had in his possession before getting out to the street to throw his hands out, flagging down a taxi and plopping into the backseat.

“Acacia hospital, please.”

The man in the driver’s seat grunted before pulling away from the curb. Law buried his head into his hands and rubbed his eyes. It was going to be a long night.

At his side, the screen of his pager blinked as bold shorthand text could be seen:  
  
EM: CODE 509 (CAR ACCIDENT)

\-----

The chaos was immediate.

Law pressed the buttons of the ICU hospital doors several times, hoping one of them would be the ‘open sesame’ signal that then allowed him to pass through without care. Behind them, he could hear muffled shouts as the medics brought in the patient followed by clanks of metal, presumably the nurses grabbing medical equipment to stabilize.

It didn’t sound good. Law immediately started to let his mind wander, trying to figure out exactly what kind of mess could be waiting for him behind it and hoping to get a game plan. If it was head trauma, he could start to stabilize them by removing pressure from the skull – easy enough, they wouldn’t exactly need him here for that. If it was a broken leg, it must be in pieces –

Then, all at once, the door opened, and he was brought back by the sound of voices clamoring over one another.

“OH! LAW!”

What he thought couldn’t have prepared him for what was on the stretcher. Suddenly he was talking and walking with the current pace, his mind scrambling to find words as they currently escaped him.

“What’s going on? Fill me in.” He said sharply to the medic, finally able to find his groove after the initial shock.

“Male. 19 years old. Concussion, possible severe head trauma. Lacerations on his head, neck, arm, and chest along with several broken ribs. In a car accident with three victims total, two survivors. Status of the second patient unclear, he’s being treated now. The car impaled right onto a roadside barrier and – “

Law tried to consolidate the information he was being given by the medic while also assessing the body underneath him. He observed a pair of red shorts, some spots darker than others indicating blood that had soaked through them and a completely open yellow vest to show the real extent of the damage the car accident had done.

Tanned skin gave way to deep, dark red flesh that made the doctor give a low noise in his throat. It seemed to span his whole chest as if someone had placed a hand right through his middle and tried to turn him inside out. Surveying closer, Law also noted some white and pink skin on the edges that allowed him to detect something that the medic had otherwise missed.

“There’s signs of necrosis caused by heat, possibly a second-degree burn. Trying to prevent gangrene is also important.”

He heard a scoff come from his right but nothing more as the medic couldn’t argue with him and continued walking towards the operating room. They lined up the body with the current table, several nurses and medics taking great care to not touch the open chest wound.

“Okay, on three. One, two,” and the unspoken three was the signal to move the body at once to the operating table.

Law could hear them working from the other side of the doors, scrubbing his hands and forearms aggressively as he prepped to do the one thing he’d bothered to stop drinking tonight for. As he washed, he thought back to the observations he’d made on the patient and the conclusions he’d made after assessing the teens status.

There was only one thing that he’d not said out loud.

He thought back to how his eyes scanned the body, being sure to take in the severity of the damage at and below the neck before looking at the head. Judging from what the medic had told him and the clumped hair he saw as the body rolled towards him, it was a few cuts at best.

Now he understood why they were certain he’d had a concussion, or worse.

The face underneath him was contorted and frozen as if it was a snapshot of a moment in time. His mouth hung open, wide and tense. In contrast, his eyes were open and glassy, with no signs of life anywhere behind them. Upon initial presentation, all evidence seemed to point to something like a comatose or complete physical shock-like state.

He rinsed up to his elbows and made for the door, grabbing a pair of gloves and putting them on as he walked into the OR to be met with nurses who lead him into his dressing gown and placed another set of gloves on his.

Standing over his patient, he glanced back up once again at the twisted expression before the anesthesiologist placed the gas mask on him.

From what he gathered of the expression; Law judged there were more problems deep inside.

He smiled slightly underneath his mask. Of all things, he was never tired of this part of his job.

This was going to be a fun operation.

\-----

“Okay, looks like everything is good. You can finish it here, can’t you?”

Law shot a glance to the surgery resident who didn’t look up from the table before vocally affirming that yes, she could. With that, he excused himself to the washroom and tore off his medical garments, dumping them in the hazardous waste bin with an urgency that betrayed his otherwise calm demeanor.

Throwing open the doors, he tried to toe the line between walking quickly and not causing any alarm. He could feel the cool breeze against his skin on his forehead, sweat beading and threatening his vision with each step. He’d hoped that this excess moisture was because of his height putting him right next to the OR room lamps, but the gnawing ball in his stomach told him otherwise.

With what he considered reasonable distance between him and the operating room, he threw his body into the nearest nurse’s restroom, curled his fingers around the toilet bowl, and scrunched his eyes as he wretched violently.

The alarm bells in his head tried to remind him to keep the sounds to a minimum, especially given the fact that once he emerged from said restroom he could possibly run into a number of people who didn’t take him for being anyone who did normal things like laugh, cry, or even vomit.

This went on for what felt like minutes but in reality, was only seconds. The temporal stretch emphasizing for him the toll that the evacuation had taken on him. He could feel his heartbeat in his temples as he dry heaved a few more times, then clung to the bowl for stability for a moment as the heat in his abdomen assaulted all of his senses.

As if to remind him where he was, he was met with a sour smell that immediately made him pull his head up again.

“Agh!”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his watch to look at the time.

6 am. Go figure.

Law was more than a little peeved that his tolerance for alcohol had led him to be unable to go at his usual amount for more than a few hours. Between the time it took him getting to the actual hospital and finishing up his surgery, he was already an hour ahead of his scheduled morning cap even without his night binge drinking.

After giving himself a few more moments to catch his breath and try to redirect his nerves, he stood and washed his hands while taking extra care to soak in the hot and cold feelings in his fingers as a grounding tool.

It helped. Somewhat.

Exiting the bathroom, he was immediately caught by surprise as he locked eyes with a bleach blonde who only grinned at him in response.  
  
“Laaaaaaw!” Bepo was the only one of the three residents who said his name with so many syllables that it would’ve otherwise driven him up a wall. For him, he didn't mind it.

“Ah, Bepo. How are you?”

This conversation was already two seconds too long.

“Good, I take it you were on call tonight? How did that go?”

“Well.”

“Great! Listen, if you have the time – “

Law interjected, being careful to hide the strain in his voice as he struggled to hide how much he needed a drink. Water or whiskey would do.

“I don’t. Erm. I have to go, but text me or email me. I will be off the next few days. I’m sorry.” His eyes stayed at the floor the entire time he spoke. Law was acutely aware of how much the scales in his head tipped while they talked, the thought about keeping up appearances low against how much he just needed to fucking leave.

Now.

He didn’t even hear Bepo give him a goodbye as he made a mad dash for the changing room, sweaty fingers playing with the combination lock on his locker and making him silently curse himself every time he managed to go past the exact number he needed. Resolute in his focus, he heard the click of the pins giving way and finally managed to throw open the door before getting on his knees, grabbing his backpack, and throwing it open.

All of those trips out on the town with the residents didn’t amount to nothing. Going out with them meant visits to all kinds of “hip” little bars and clubs in town with creative and convenient ways to deliver alcohol.

A popular one being free mini hotel bottles which law then stuffed into his pockets for emergencies. And goodness, what an emergency this was.

His eyes scanned the room before he screwed open the first plastic bottle his fingers could touch and threw his head back. The immediate sting made him choke and he fought the lurch of his throat as he forced the rest of the liquid in. His chest tightened as he coughed, the dryness from his earlier expulsion now being exacerbated by the medicine he so desperately needed.

The feeling in his bones was indescribable. Warm, heavy, and dare he say euphoric despite how true to his alcoholism that made him.

“I need to go.” He muttered to himself, taking one more sweep of his surroundings to be sure he didn’t just let himself go too much to the juice.

Still empty. A relief even if you didn’t expect to see many doctors this early.

Feeling more like himself, he shed his scrubs in lieu of the black shirt and turtleneck jacket he’d worn when he came into work, dawned his signature white-and-black spotted hat before getting out to the elevator.

Stepping in, he willed himself to not notice just how many people were on and just cramped it was. In his current state, he couldn’t use the stairs.

In his mind, the faint sound of clicking had started up again.

\-----

“Damn. Oh, come on, FUCK.”

Law’s shaking hands did nothing to help him in his quest to finally be inside of his apartment once and for all, the key flipping this way and that as he tried to line it up with the lock. He was thankful that the weather had finally turned to reflect the actual calendar date – the cool weather and breeze being a bit kinder to his fashion choices – but it did nothing to stop the sweating he had done since getting outside and further away from his ideal level of sobriety.

As if sensing his frustration, the key and door lined up and reprieve was found immediately.

He stepped inside, the dark curtains in his living room forcing a night-like visage over his living space. His hands found their way to a small lamp on the side table, flicking the switch so that soft yellow light could make a path for him as he sauntered to the kitchen and grabbed the nearest bottle of something he could find on top of his fridge.

He examined the bottle lazily. Gin, just like Cora tried to give him just the night before.

“For you, Cora,” he said sarcastically, raising a bottle to the empty kitchen.

He poured himself a glass before rummaging in the freezer for some ice cubes and plopping them one by one inside. His fingers curled around the cold feeling, soaking it in as his nerves stung.

_Click. Click. Click._

The choice of glass almost felt precarious with the way that his hands shook. He moved carefully across the living room, every sip of the herb-tinged spirit helping stabilize him further though it did nothing to stop the pounding in his chest.

_Click._

Law didn’t know how long it had taken him, but he found himself in his bedroom. The same dark curtains hung over his bedroom window giving only outlines of life to the things he did have in here: A bed – to sleep, a mirror – to see, and a bedside table –

To hold drinks, mostly.

He shuffled over to the bed and took another deep swig from the glass before placing it on the bedside table, now turning on the same soft light lamp he had in his living room. He found himself pulling open the bottom drawer of the little shelf, realizing his body was more in tune with his daytime rituals than he consciously allowed himself to be.

Inside was a bottle of vodka, a shot glass, and a small calendar with a red marker tucked on the side.

His eyebrows furrowed. Calendar?

Picking it up in his hands, he made note of the large red markings on the calendar with scrutiny. It was currently turned to the present month, October, and each date had been crossed out with a large red X. Flipping back to previous pages, the markings held on each date of the month, diluting the significance of this all the more. He wondered if he was trying to just keep track of the days, something he’d found himself doing less and less as his days blurred between drinking and working.

The pounding of his heart had turned into a tightening now, the shifting and building anxiety making him shut his eyes tight while he fought against whatever was attempting to rear its ugly head.

_“-ther!”_

Wait.

_“Law –“_

It was too soon, it had to be.

_“We love you, we’re sorry.”_

He scrambled to find his way to the October page once again, running his fingers over the thin paper while the coils in his mind twisted and tightened around one another. The suffocating feeling permeated the rest of the air around him and weighed him down as he slumped down from his mattress to the floor.

His eyes searched for a box without an x, hands still gripping the pages and crumpling them until the creases stuck deeply within the fibers. Suddenly, the ink began to bleed through the rest of the paper as droplets fell and soaked them through.

On the current week, the one for which that Law had managed to take days off for without reason, there was something written in every single day.

Lami’s birthday. Mom’s birthday. Dad’s birthday.

_Bang._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks for the kind words and kudos. I didn't exactly expect to get this done so quickly, but I do have an idea of what I'm wanting to do at least up to the point of Law joining AA so it shouldn't be too many infrequent updates. I can't make any promises though. Apologies for any weird typos though, I write these when I get off of work and I'm a bit too tired to proofread at times.
> 
> I will decide whether or not to add slow burn tag to this fic cause at this rate, it may be necessary.


	3. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: for non-descript discussions of drugs

**Do your days off include the bar?**

Plumes of gray smoke crept across the screen, twisting and turning as the thin column climbed into the air before dissipating completely. Between every curve, a glance at the vertical cursor could be seen – first there, then not, blinking rhythmically with the fumes as to not get lost behind the cloud while the holder stared pensively.

The tall man leaned back into the brown patio chair, taking in the heat of the sunlight as his bangs fell from his forehead and dared to touch the top of his head. Breathing into his cigarette, red and yellow sparks started to eat their way through the ashes, the embers closing the distance between them and his knuckles while he shifted, crossing his legs as if trying to find the most comfortable way to press the send button.

“No…”

Legs uncrossed, he leaned forward and put his elbows on his thighs. His shoulders slumped and relaxed as he finally released the breath he’d been holding, the light muddied with the gray billows while a long thumb moved across the glass, swiping down.

 **Me (08:30):** **Catching up on sleep, I take it?**

**Me (10:15):  
Since it’s your day off, do you want me to bring you some food? Bananas and beer aren’t breakfast, you know.**

**Me (10:16):  
:-)**

The speech bubbles stacked on top of each other like a wall – one the bartender slash owner felt was becoming less metaphorical and contained to his phone as he tried to no avail to reach his “best customer”.

Law hadn’t come into the bar for two days and Corazon was getting worried.

It wasn’t as if his inability to respond to texts was new. If anything, it was a feature of their relationship, one where Law was chronically sliding between being physically or mentally unavailable with hours of lucid conversation at the bar. And it was those conversations that gave Corazon a chance to check in with him without making the other feel suffocated.

Without it, it was hard to not find his mind in the worst-case scenarios.

Texting seemed to be his only recourse at the moment. Law wasn’t the biggest fan of having someone come to his apartment routinely – if he wasn’t home, it meant he had to deal with chasing away an intruder he wouldn’t have otherwise invited. If he was, it meant small talk and possibly being so drunk that he couldn’t hide what he did behind closed doors.

Neither were attractive options.

Unfortunately, those rules were harder and harder for Corazon to abide by as he observed the last sign of life he’d gotten. A blue chat bubble sandwiched between all of his gray:  
  
 **Law (2 days ago): [Thumbs up].**

He wouldn’t have believed it was him if he hadn’t seen the period at the end. Somehow, the rigidity made it feel even more Law-like.

Corazon looked at the time in the corner of his phone. It was noon, meaning that opening the bar would start in a few hours. Doffy preferred he get there an hour earlier to help with some of the managerial work behind the scenes.

The cursor blinked.

Still, at this point, it didn’t seem to be much of an option to not go check in on Law. He’d started to think he would regret it if he didn’t.

His other hand leaned up to rub the back of his neck as he groaned aloud, the feeling of smooth black feathers tickling his wrist while his other thumb tapped away at the screen again now. He’d made up his mind, trying to find the words to say to his older brother who would likely not take the favor without something in it for him.

Send.

He stood up from the chair, tugging his feather coat further around his shoulders while he dialed and left the phone at arm’s length as the rings echoed in his ears. Absentmindedly, his thumb parsed the screen again, swiping between apps to return to “Messages” – reviewing the text he’d just sent.

**Me (now): I’m coming over.**

“Rosinante, my own flesh and blood. How are you?”

\-----

From the outside, it was as unassuming a bar as any other on the street.

The building was neutral – red brick hung around large rectangular windows that made it possible to see all of the liveliness inside and further the enticing allure. In one window, a flamingo shaped neon light hung above an array of small vintage photos and records, their pink glow only slightly obvious in the daylight. In another, an obscured view of the bar tucked as it was tucked behind a bar top and three red plastic stools.

LA CORRIDA.

Corazon’s eyes mulled over the bold black letters above the door, tapping his fingers on the car steering wheel while he bided his time. The cracked window did nothing to help the stuffiness of the interior and the cigarette only made it worse.

Doffy had asked him to come to the bar in order to talk to him in person. He was certain he’d made his request clear enough:

“Take over the bar or find someone who could, just for tonight. I have business to attend to. I’m sorry, I can’t say.”

Still, he was foolish to think that it would satiate the elder’s appetite for a balance in their requests. Maybe it was the vagueness of it all – sometimes even brothers had to have secrets – or it was the fact that he now had a free evening to run around and Doffy thought he could use that.

He should’ve stressed the urgency of it all.

Corazon stepped out of the car, the beeps of the car alarm all but reminding him that he was moving towards the building and further to an excuse he hadn’t thought up. His pace managed to hide his racing mind, his ability to stay calm remaining his saving grace and he was no less thankful for it.

As he went up the steps towards the managers room, sounds of laughter filled the narrow corridor as they spilled from the open door. His brother’s was most recognizable to him – breathy and alive, swallowing everything it touched like a fire given free rein to oxygen. It made him tense at first contact.

He took a few steps further, the crescendo of sounds making the soundtrack of his ascent.  
  
“Stop it, you make it sound like I’m the best at these sorts of trade deals.”

“You are the best at these trade deals, that’s why I have you in charge of them.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Okay, I’ll stop.”

Corazon paused, holding onto the railing as the realization hit him and his eyebrows raced to meet in the middle of his nose. He couldn’t deal with this right now.

“Alright! I’ll admit it. Yes, I am the best at these trade deals!”  
  
As he got to the top of the stairs, he paused, letting his eyes adjust to the sunlight lit room that contrasted with the dark corridor. The desk in the middle was surrounded by two other figures, both of which were sitting patiently at Doffy’s side.

To his left, Corazon briefly met eyes with the older gentleman whose face appeared to be mostly mouth and teeth. He was no less flamboyant – a yellow, sunflower-inspired headpiece adorned his long brown hair and complemented his red overcoat and pants nicely. His shirt hung open to reveal the same degree of hardened muscle that his brother showed routinely.

“You’re too close!”

He shifted. From even a brief glance, the large, fluffy blue coat was hard to miss. Tucked inside of it was a broad faced man with tan skin and long, black hair. His brother in the middle was visibly annoyed and with good reason – A big, toothy smile sat 6 inches from his face in what seemed to be a clear violation of personal space boundaries.

“I’m too close…” The coat moved closer to him, “but?”

Corazon cleared his throat, diverting all attention to him before the charade started up again. At once, all three men were back to business as usual and the elder brother grinned as he shuffled around into his desk and dropping two brown envelopes on the surface.

“For you, gentlemen. Your hard work this week isn’t going unnoticed and I don’t want you to forget it. Now, if you’ll excuse me,”  
  
He stood, snaking around the desk to grab a third chair from the corner of the room and placing it squarely in front of the table.  
  
“We’ve got some personal matters to attend to.”

The other two nodded and slid the packages across the table, stuffing their shares into their coats and brushing past him without another word.

With that, Corazon took his seat and reached into his pocket, flipping open a pack of cigarettes and sliding one into his hand.

“I see the family business is doing well,” He muttered, lips tucked around a cigarette while his thumb fiddled with the lighter.

“Incredibly. It’s a shame that it runs so well without you doing some of the legwork, but I suppose your desire to take over the bar side of things to keep up appearances helps me immensely – “

Doflamingo leaned forward, his elbows on the desk as Corazon inhaled deeply.

“– and it is in your nature to be so helpful. Besides, the things we share as family go far beyond something as simple as shared interests, don’t you agree?”

The younger brother sighed heavily.

“Let’s cut to the chase,” Corazon said, his voice static as he tried not to feed emotion to the voracious grin ahead. “You asked me to come by before I took off for the evening, was there something unclear about what was said?”

“Not at all, I just wanted to let you know that I found someone to take over your shift. Oh, and to give you this.” Doflamingo placed a paper bag on the desk, this one smaller in both width and thickness than the previous two.

“I don’t need any money,” Corazon began, tapping ashes onto the floor, “My living expenses out of the bar earnings do well enough.”

“I think it’s something you’ll want for your business. It’ll help.”

Corazon grabbed the bag without another word. He wasn’t in the mood to fight and whatever it was, he could dispose of it if he really found no necessity in it. His cigarette hand brought the stick to his mouth, another dose of nicotine more than necessary as he made eye contact with the red plastic.

“If that’s it, I’ll be taking my leave. I’ll be back on bar tomorrow night.”

“Of course. It’s always good to take a night off, you deserve it.” That syrupy quality of Doflamingo's voice betrayed the tensing of his shoulders as his fingers laced between each other.  
  
Corazon could barely contain his relief. He was home free, now all he had to do was get out of the door. Moving quickly, he pulled the chair back with him as he made his way to the office entrance.

“Oh, and Rosinante,”

Corazon was closing the door behind him.

“Say hi to Law for me.”

**_Click._ **

Corazon couldn’t even remember getting back to his car, everything moving in a blur as his fingers gripped the mysterious bag until his knuckles were white. He glanced up at the storefront of the bar, looking for the red curtains that hung in view within the office window. He’d hoped he wouldn’t see a pink coat looking back down on the street.

Nothing.

“Damn!” He exclaimed, slapping and punching the steering wheel until his palms burned. Was he that transparent? There was no way Doffy would have caught him that quickly. His business could mean a number of things and a day off was certainly not out of the question even just for relaxation.

Suddenly, the bag seemed less mysterious so.

He let himself confirm the suspicions, unrolling the bag messily and letting it rip and tear as it went.

White tablets.

“I knew it, that asshole!” Corazon didn’t want to entertain this any further, his teeth grit around his cigarette biting it flat as he ignored the bitter taste that coated his tongue. Crumpling up the bag, he stuffed it into his glove compartment and peeled away from the curb.

The fire was spreading.

\-----

Law felt tired.

He laid on the dark hardwood, eyes staring straight ahead as the commotion around him registered as unspecific stimuli – colors, vibrations, and muffled loud voices followed by heavy movement. His body was weak and rigid, only his eyes being able to move as they observed the surroundings.

Looking up, a chandelier as golden as it was wide hung from the ceiling, swinging with every vibration that shook underneath his fingertips. The light was a welcome reprieve to the dark ring circling his vision, making a vignette of the scene ahead of him as he continued to scan the room. In front of him, photos hanging along the staircase made for a small gallery above the steps, various shapes of brown and black poking above the dark wood.

His eyes were heavy, and his legs felt sluggish as he tried to move his muscles to no avail. The skin on his face and neck seemed to be at odds with the rest of his body, a cold moisture biting at his cheeks while warmth poured through to the balls of his feet.

Laying on the floor made looking around harder than he thought, the sound of static clouding his thoughts like a television losing signal.

“Please!”

Law blinked slowly, red in the corner of his vision as he reacted to that sound. It was the only thing that seemed to pull him out of this hazy nap he was having on the floor.

_Mom…_

Vibrations shook under his fingers again before the indeterminate sounds muddied. As the activities around him shook the room, with it came an object pressing into his chest. His arm had long ago fallen asleep, the weight of his own body plus the awkward shape of his joints both lending itself to the numb sensation as his other arm curled around the pile.

The more he tried to breathe, the more warmth he could feel from his side as it pressed against the floor. He wondered lazily how to chase more of that heat. 

“Lami! Law! Oh god…”  
  
There was that voice again. Now mired with anguish and wails, Law could register that sound in a sea of indeterminate commotion. His chest ached along with it, a confused mix of his heart pumping and distress working in tandem.

_I’m –_

He looked down.

Brown hair transitioned into black, the color of the strands being a drastic contrast to the pale skin underneath. His eyes followed the trail of liquid emanating from his front, circling his field of vision until he could see the outline of the pool he was lying in.

His fingers tightened around Lami’s body as he slipped further in and out of consciousness.

_I’m going to die tonight._

The hammer clicked as something reared it back, the pattern reflecting his own heartbeat – slow and steady.

_I love you. Please don’t be sad._

_We’ll see each other soon._

**BANG.**

“AGH!”

The shout rang through the living room as he jolted, his body lurching forward faster than he could register being awake. Gravity worked against him he leaned far forward, his hands grasping for anything in the dark room and finally settling on the coffee table in the middle of the room.

Wiping away his hair from his face, he grimaced as his palms merely transferred the cold sweat on his hands to his forehead. His skin was moist and uncomfortable as the darkness dizzied him. Gasping for air, he started to paw at his chest until he could feel the telltale indentations beneath his fingertips.

The realization of being awake hit him and a cry escaped his throat before he could reel it back in. Fishing around in the dark, he tried to touch anything even remotely bottle shaped before landing on cold glass hidden on the side of the couch. Leaning backwards, he took several gulps until his limbs were heavy and his body returned to that familiar warmth.

Just how much would he have to drink?

\-----

Standing outside the door, Corazon used his free hand to check the time. 2 hours since his last message. Glancing over at the paper sack in his other, he realized he’d spent far longer than he intended to grocery shopping to cook a meal for a man whose kitchen looked show-ready with how seldom it was used.

At least he could make him something substantial.

“I’m coming in.” He announced, stepping into the pitch-black living and pausing a moment with eyes shut as he let his eyes adjust. He’d realized what a turn of events it was compared to coming in at night where moving from darkness to darkness was seamless. Thankfully, he’d been in Law’s apartment enough to know where to find his lamp.

He briefly entertained the idea of opening a window to hissing and waving as if Law was some kind of vampire melting in the daytime. The thought made him chuckle as he flipped on the light switch.

Looking ahead, he saw the slumped body against the couch and a lump formed in his throat.

“Hey!”

Dropping the groceries, Corazon ran to the couch and called to him again, his hand on the tattooed shoulder as he tried to rouse the unconscious man.

“Hey, Hey, Hey, Law.”

He was panicking and yet, in the back of his mind, he could hear himself emphasizing gentle movements and approaches to waking a sleeping bear like this. If Law were awake, he’d be less than thrilled at being woken up from a deep nap such as this.

“Mmmn…”

Thank god.

Law stirred. His head heavy on his neck as his cheek rested on his shoulder, turning to face Corazon. Eyelids lifted and fell to reveal gray irises that shook in place for a moment, darting this way and that to take in the light that encompassed the blonde man ahead of him.

Even the silence was loud.

“I forgot about them…”

The voice came out soft and strained.

It was only at this moment that Corazon was really able to take a look at him. The dark circles underneath his eyes looked gray and purple, the troughs clinging to his cheekbones as they deepened. His tanned skin was flushed a deep red instead of its usual pink, showing that the drinking had been heavier and more frequent over the past few days than he’d anticipated. Judging from how he looked, it wasn’t unreasonable to assume he’d ben in this spot since the last time Law texted him.

“Cora…”

It was barely above a whisper now.

Corazon was so focused on Law that he hadn’t noticed the hand reaching out and gripping his forearm. Steady breathing evolved into chokes and gasps around twisted lips, the doctor crumbling into a heap as his grip loosened on him and he couldn’t keep pushing back any longer.

“Why did I survive?”

It was a punch to the gut.

“There’s no reason to blame yourself. Don’t say that. Your family would have wanted you to live.”

His words fell on deaf ears as the sobbing continued, chest tightening as he helplessly watched Law shake and lose himself in his sorrow. Corazon felt his teeth sink into his bottom lip.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” He said, lifting law off of the ground and carrying him in their usual routine. Black hair burrowed itself into whatever warm body was against him now, his chest still heaving as he just spoke through his tears.

"I was ready to die."

"I know."

\-----

It was all so familiar. 

Corazon rolled up his jeans as he placed a towel down, grabbing the handheld showerhead and spraying the warm water into the muss of hair below. The sound was calming. Pouring shampoo into his palms, he moved his hands against the scalp leaning on his knees, taking extra care to not get soap anywhere it didn’t need to be as he watched carefully for any change in expression. Law was quiet having exhausted himself in his fit, letting the long fingers slip through his hair and soaking in the feeling with silent gratitude.

Working slowly, the blonde man took full advantage of the de-escalation and let his mind wander unguarded.

Looking down at Law, he tried to bury the rising heat in his stomach. Caring for him to this extent was something he’d done before, and he still found himself unable to contain the swell of anger as the memories came flooding back.

Suddenly, the bag of tablets returned to his mind and he seized.

No.

Never again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to anyone who's read up to this point!
> 
> This was a bit angstier than I anticipated but I promise it's meant to deliver some (hopefully clear) relationship dynamics+ a bit more understanding as to laws mindset re:escapism with substances. I had to make the characters suffer for world building, pls forgive me. 
> 
> I took far too long trying to write that last scene because I am incapable of writing non-erotic bath scenes. I hope it's enough to fill in some blanks though. Anyways, a lot of these things will be built on further (nothing ends here?) so thank you for sticking with me during these truly sad boy hoursTM.
> 
> P.S. my headcanon is absolutely that Corazon adds smileys to his texts when he thinks he's said something too mean. Which is a lot.


	4. Cravings

_Family –_

Opaque water filled the sink basin, the cloudiness cleared by the running faucet as the streams converged.

_It’s strange, isn’t it?_

The gray bowl tipped carefully onto its side as the water flowed quickly against the white grains sat uniform in the corner. Behind, a boiling pot on the stove released with it a spicy and complex aroma – one that brought liveliness to the sometimes-stale air of the one tenant space.

“That should be good,” Corazon muttered to himself as he filled the bowl with water again and moved to place the container into the rice cooker. As he plugged in the appliance, he glanced over at the black hair that poked above the couch.

_How you can choose some but not others?_

He sighed as he made his way over to look at a Law sleeping against the cushions – his face had softened both in color and features with relaxed eyebrows and lips parted slightly. His chest rose and fell in slow and shallow succession, his breathing no longer haphazard in its release.

Reaching forward, his hand brushed over Law’s bangs and watched as the resting man stirred at the touch. His mind had been racing since this afternoon as he tried to string together how he was feeling about it all, the uncertainty sticking to his thoughts like finding two puzzle pieces that didn’t quite fit together.

_So, what to do,_

He lingered a moment too long as the hair stirred more underneath his fingertips, small groans sinking into the touch as Law blinked sleepily and his gaze followed the hand up to its owner in gradual motion. Corazon braced himself for the shock as the sleep washed away but instead watched as a smaller hand was placed over his, sliding it carefully onto the back cushion as he sat up.

Even from this angle, he could see the gears turning in Law’s head as he tugged at the pajamas he was wearing and tried to recall the last 10 hours with minor success before burying his head into his hand.

_When the ones you WANT to be there,_

“Ah, you’re awake.”

Law grimaced before grabbing his phone from the coffee table. The letters D-E-A-T-H tattooed on his fingers seemed a bit too on the nose right now.

_Are trying to kill themselves slowly?_

“You hungry?” Corazon pivoted quickly, ignoring the grumbling from the drowsy doctor who was now trying to catch up to the world of the living via smartphone. “The food will be done soon, so feel free to go rinse your face a bit. You bathed earlier but it’ll help wake you up.”

Law nodded hurriedly, excusing himself to the bathroom without another word. In the kitchen, Corazon stirred the curry on the stove once more before cutting the heat and making his way to the balcony.

As he took a drag from his cigarette, he watched a plane cut across the night sky until it hid between the moon and a passing cloud, timing his dose with the movement of the machine.

\-----

Water wasn’t helping.

Law cupped his hands under the water and wet his face a few more times before pausing and letting it continue down the drain as he steadied his hands on the sides of the sink. He was far more awake now, but not for the reasons he wanted.

Grabbing his phone again, he swiped down on the screen and looked at the stack of notifications before landing on one from his messages.

 **Unknown number (23:15):** **Let’s do dinner – D**

His stomach turned.

Backing away from the sink slowly, he moved until his back met with the wall. Startled, he sunk to the floor and grabbed the towel on the rack besides him, rubbing his face furiously as if it would all be a dream once he stopped. Pulling the cloth away from his eyes, he looked back at his phone with the message staring back, watching the display.

How?

Law leaned his head back against the wall, his throat feeling dry while his nerves salivated at a hunger the rest of him tried to suppress. A hand moved up his chest, the sensation warm and intoxicating as his mind started to haze and he sunk into the dark body behind him wrapping itself around. He tensed as the touch snaked its way up to his neck, tightening its grip and making him gasp for air as the heat suffocated his senses.

**_It feels good, hmmm?_ **

He nodded. His brain felt like it was soaking in honey as he turned into a ball of raw indulgence. Opening his mouth, he moaned as the digits penetrated the soft inlet and with it a bitter taste as the tablets were placed softly on his tongue.

**_You’re tired of hurting, aren’t you?_ **

Half-lidded eyes barely registered as the darkness surrounded his field of vision, pulling him into its grasp with little resistance as he surrendered.

Here, there was no pain.

**_That’s it, just let go…_ **

“Hey! Are you okay in there?”

Law jumped, the voice grabbing him roughly back to reality as he dropped his phone to the ground with a thud. He tried to ignore the aching in his stomach – it wasn’t real, he insisted. Those feelings are gone. He didn’t want it anymore. It was only once he got up from the floor that he realized just how disoriented he was, all of the blood from his head went to his feet and made him feel bottom heavy.

Turning on the water, he wet his face several more times trying to extinguish the fire that burned in his skin and steady his breathing.

This wasn’t happening.

It was just a thought.

Wiping his face on the towel again, he looked back at the message and then pressed the button to make the screen go dark.

_Water. Wasn’t. Helping._

He made his way back to the dining table where Corazon was sitting on the couch, mindlessly flipping through the TV channels with a cigarette in the other hand. Running a hand through his hair, he leaned against the doorframe as he waited for the rest of his body to return to Earth.

“Ah, Cora. Sorry to keep you waiting, I got distracted cause the residents wanted to know when I was going to come back to work.”

_A lie._

Corazon looked up from the screen at Law who was looking back at him with a sheepish half-smile, putting out the stick into the cigarette box before making his way back to the dining table.

“Ah, it’s okay. I figured you might’ve had a hard time waking up,” He paused, a serious expression passed on his face before his features softened again and he smiled,

“So, I didn’t want to worry too much. I just wanted to be sure you were okay.”

Law felt a wave of guilt and shame that was only exacerbated by his daydreamers high, realizing that only hours earlier he’d gotten so drunk that he didn’t even remember where he was or how long he’d been sitting in his living room chasing unconsciousness.

_And he found me there._

He tried to put it out of his mind as he walked to the table. He sat down at the chair across, taking in the spread of curry rice with sides of chopped sesame cabbage and pickled vegetables.

“It looks great! I’m surprised you can cook anything nice like this.” He said innocently, picking up his spoon.

“Coming from the guy who gets most of his calories from alcohol mixers.” Corazon cut back dryly, picking up a bit of cabbage with his fork.

“You know, as a doctor, I don’t think you should smoke either.”

“Pot, meet kettle.”

Ah. He was just as quick as always. Law could feel the mild-mannered teasing cutting through the tension in the air like a knife. He was glad they were talking normally despite how much he wanted to sit down and apologize properly for making Cora worry.

But that could be later, he made a dinner for the two of them and –

Wait.

This was the first time he’d had dinner with someone in a while that he’d forgotten how nice it was. Law usually spent his evenings going to the bar so he wouldn’t be alone with his thoughts, a realization that made missing out on this simple pleasure all the more depressing.

Stuffing spoonful’s of rice into his mouth, he could feel anger biting at the corner of his eyes as he thought about the things that had been robbed from him over the past five years. Regular comforts gone all because he couldn’t cope, and now, his addiction was consuming every part of his relationships.

The two of them ate in silence for a moment as he traversed his thoughts.

“Law.”

He was picking at a potato with his spoon when he heard the voice speak up, reeling him back in from his self-depreciating spiral.

“We need to talk seriously about you going to rehab. I can’t take no for an answer anymore.” He could feel Corazon’s eyes boring a hole into him as he squirmed in his seat.

_What the fuck._

“Cora, I’ve told you. I can go when I am ready.” Law could feel his voice shaking.

_Why is he bringing that up?_

“When I found you… At the pace you were going, you could’ve died.”

Corazon was calm as he stood from his seat, bridging the gap between them as he tried to console a visibly agitated Law who was recoiling at every footstep.

_I know. You don’t have to tell me._

“I was fine, it was no more than my usual.” The stinging was more of a burning now, the wounds cutting deeper into him as he tried to fight the cocktail of emotions he’d felt since waking up earlier.

“Again, I think we have different ideas of fine. You have done this before and in combination with far worse things. It’s a miracle you’re alive at all. I just need you to listen –”

_I KNOW._

Law slammed his palms on the table. The rational voice in his mind reminding him of composure was being beaten into submission by the irritation and shame that began to well up inside of him. It was as if neither could give up the reins for a minute, and both began speaking over each other to get the last word.

“Why won’t you STOP?”

His tongue bit down on the words.

_I’m sorry._

“Stop. Stop talking to me about rehab. I want to drink, and I want to do that without YOU of all people trying to tell me I shouldn’t.” Laws eyes stayed on the ground as he searched desperately for anything to look at other than the expression ahead. He knew it was going to be one he would regret.

“You’re just my bartender. You HELP me get drunk, who the fuck are you to tell me about how much I drink? You don’t care.”

_That’s not true._

He felt that familiar drought in his mouth as he realized how long it had been since he’d had alcohol and now this confrontation was getting worse. The combination of his desire to escape plus reaching his physical breaking point was too much to bear.

“If you don’t like what I am doing, then you can just leave me alone.”

_Being alone makes it easier to do this._

“Law…” Corazon moved to get close to him once again.

_It hurts._

“I SAID. GET. OUT.”

Law threw his hands out, trying to put distance between him and the taller man whose resolve to be kind was eating away at him more and more with its venom. Hands flat against the fabric of Corazons shirt, he tried to ignore the pounding heartbeat that was bouncing against his palms and synchronizing with his own.

He just wanted everything to stop.

The heavy silence returned with a vengeance as they kept their stance. Neither person budged for a moment as they soaked in the discomfort, daring the other person to speak first if they wanted to try and mend the rift. Large hands fell on top of his, gripping softly with silent promises of still being gentle and kind and all of the things that Law felt he just didn’t deserve right now as they placed his hands back to his sides.

Then, footsteps moved hesitantly before the door opened.

He didn’t stay to watch the conclusion, instead walking back to his bedroom and grabbing the bottle from the nightstand. Pouring shots and throwing them back in quick succession to numb himself to the deafening click of the locks behind him.

Sleeping. Drinking. And –

A shudder crawled up his spine as he found himself looking at the message on his phone once again.

Those were the only times he didn’t hurt so much.

\-----

Being back at work was a blessing in disguise.

“Law!”

It was helpful and distracting in an unhealthy way. The last thing anyone should want to do is have their waking hours filled with helping put together an arm or tell people they had heart failure. It was that kind of morbid interest that he figured kept people at arm’s length, yet it was so wonderfully –

“Hey, don’t ignore us! We missed you.”

Annoying.

Law was sitting outside of the hospital at his usual lunch spot, sipping bitter breakroom coffee as he let the steam melt into his cheeks a little. It was getting colder earlier every year and this year didn’t seem intent on breaking that streak. On the table, he watched as grains of sand fell leisurely in the hourglass ahead of him. The hospital gave them out as gifts to the doctors as a kitschy reminder that every minute spent on patient care was important and that they should keep that in mind as to not “waste time”.

He wondered what it would be like to be trapped in one of those.

“We aren’t going to leave! We have so much to tell you.”

Somehow even the cold wasn’t going to keep the residents away from him and his mid-day drink. He’d been off of work for the last four days, long enough for them to finally finish their rotations on night shift which meant he was bound to see them more often which wasn’t awful.

Silver lining, it did motivate him to drink a little more.

“First off, how could you leave us with that horrible patient?!” Shachi, the first resident whined, tugging on the bits of red hair that poked out from his teal beanie. In a swift motion, he was hugged tightly around his head by another resident.

“Yeah, do you know what kind of monster you saved?!” the doting second cried, the flaps of his black ushanka-style beanie bouncing as he spoke. His hat said Penguin in large black letters across white fabric, a detail that made Law wonder if the other doctor forgot his own last name sometimes.

“That kid from the car accident woke up and freaked out, screaming for some guy who wasn’t even a patient! It took the three of us plus five nurses to finally pin him down and brace him to the bed and even then, we barely got the sedative drip in him.”

“Plus, he punched Bepo in the face!”

“Yeah!”

Law looked up at Bepo who was quietly watching the other two, his black eye visible behind the coffee he too was using to keep warm.

“It doesn’t hurt that much though. I’m sorry.” He muttered.

Penguin sat back down and crossed his arms over his white coat. “It was such a pain in the ass. The saving grace was that he had been admitted with a reasonable person who they could trust with his outpatient care. Dr. Kureha even let her ‘In the ICU, you only leave if you’re cured or dead’ rule pass just this once because he was being such a handful.”

“That bad, huh. Well, it isn’t like I’m going to be able to predict the trouble in all of my patients.” Law said, unmoved by the distress of his subordinates who were all looking at him with wide eyed disbelief.

“Damn it, Law! You’re going to pay us back in so many croissants.” Penguin cried as he shook his fist at the cold surgeon.

“And scones,” said the other two very matter-of-factly.

“And scones.”

The glare he shot the other three made them clam up quickly as they remembered just how scary Law could be. The tattoos on his knuckles plus his cold demeanor had earned him the nickname “surgeon of death” among the other residents, though right now these three could feel that becoming more literal than before. Various excuses jumbled together as the three of them talked all at once and left, giving their goodbyes from the safety of the doors behind them.

They were idiots, yet that interaction had cheered him up a bit as much as he hated to admit.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, immediately going to his messages and opening up the text thread labeled ‘Cora’.

**Cora (yesterday):  
It’s supposed to get colder this week. Please be safe.**

The man had the unbelievable talent of being able to forgive him despite his shortcomings and fits of anger, sadness, loathing, weakness –

He groaned, realizing just how down he’d gotten on himself over that fight. He hadn’t texted Cora at all yesterday out of sheer embarrassment and pride, yet he knew in the back of his mind that neither of them expected him to break the silence. That’s just how their relationship was. Still, Law couldn’t bring himself to face him. He knew his response needed to be apologetic and genuine.

Already, the script for what he would say started forming as he walked back towards the building. He put the hourglass into its pocket as the top jar spilled the last of its contents into the bottom.

\-----

“Have a good evening, Dr. Trafalgar!”

Law waved at the nurse sending him off as he made his way to the door, quietly bemused at this otherwise rare interaction. In his confusion, he’d almost forgotten that it was possible for the hospital to hire new people. He hadn’t quite worked with her long enough for her to figure out what a tyrant he could be in his job.

She’ll learn soon enough.

As he made his way to the door, the air around the medical staff coming in for their night shift was one of gossip. Every person who passed by him was muttering to one another in hushed tones with bits of surprise and mystery peppered in between.

“– bar in west district, right?”

On the list of things he disliked the most, people feeling the need to pry into every shiny new thing that caught their eye was pretty high. No matter, it wasn’t like it could’ve been anything too interesting.

“I thought that pink coat was just a prop for the local writing they did, turns out its actually his.”

“I know, right? it definitely makes him stand out.”

Law paused and looked back at the conversation happening behind him before shaking his head wildly.

No, that’s weird. It couldn’t be. He’d never even told Cora his hospital's name for fear the blonde would show up to his work unannounced trying to feed him and giving the wrong impression. They’re probably talking about whatever new restaurant popped up in the city doing unnecessary things like gastronomy.

“And he’s SO tall. Wow. It’s a shame I’m not single.”

Coincidence.

His pace betrayed his attempts at reassurance, legs quickening as he nearly ran down the ramp and stuffed his hands into the deep pockets on his coat. 

God, it really was cold.

It was in that series of thoughts that Law found himself trying to race out of the cold to the train station. Cora was probably already waiting for him at the bar and he needed to finish up the finishing touches on what he would say.

What drink order sounds the most apologetic?

“Hello, Law.”

Looking at his feet, he hadn’t even noticed he crossed the threshold into the sidewalk until he was accosted by the syrupy voice.

“I didn’t take you for someone to not answer MY texts of all people, but you were always hard to reach once it came to my brother.”

Pink feathers draped either side of him and reinforced to Law just how dwarfing it was to be around someone even taller than his six-foot three stature. The broad smile hovered above him as an arm kept him against one of the pillars bearing the hospital name.

Law was trapped. He could feel the slithering of that dark, shapeless figure from his daydream creeping on his neck as it grabbed hold of his body and refused to let go.

“Oh…That’s Law, right?”

“What’s he doing?”

“He didn’t strike me as a person with those kinds of friends…”

He could hear the murmurs as groups of hospital staff walked past, their attempts to watch the scene unfold barely subtle. It was bad enough he was now trapped with Doflamingo of all people. Now everyone at his job was going to associate the two of them together.

This was bad, this was really fucking bad.

“Let’s talk somewhere else.” He slapped away the creeping fingers on his shoulder and tried to put on a show as to not give the crowd ogling him more gossip fodder.

Doflamingo grinned, unmoved by Law’s reaction.

“Good, I was just on my way to get dinner. I’m glad I found you here.” He motioned for Law to follow him, the doctor reluctantly doing so as they walked to the flashy black car parked on the street. The heavy window tint made the car look even more suspicious.

So much for not drawing more attention.

\-----

“What can I get for you?”

“Just water.”

Law handed back his menu, not even making eyes with the waitress who was putting on her best smile despite the unfriendly behavior. Even customer service people were making him feel like a bit of a jerk.

“Ah, don’t be like that. We’ll have some of these dumplings and edamame. Also,”

He couldn’t see it, but he knew even behind the frames that those eyes were right on him.

“Two gin and tonics. And a double vodka, straight.”

The waitress nodded and excused herself, taking with her the one cover Law had for not engaging directly with his abductor. Sitting alone with Doflamingo in a restaurant made him more aware of his surroundings than ever.

Around them everything was dimly lit with soft orange light, only making it possible for anyone to observe couples together upon close inspection. The walls were scarce save for a few hangings of abstract art with earthy tones standing out against the white and dark brown wood. They’d sat in a booth on the balcony of the restaurant, the limited seating lending itself to their isolation.

It was incredibly intimate.

“So, Doflamingo,” Law began, coughing to disguise his apprehension as his voice faltered, “What do you want?”

“I can’t take my best customer and longtime friend out for dinner?”

Law leaned back, sinking into the plush seating.

“Let’s not do this. You wouldn’t call me out here if you didn’t think you had something to gain.” His arms crossed as he tucked his hands behind his elbows, fingers restlessly twisting around one another.

“Ah, here are our drinks.”

Law flinched as the waitress had come up from behind, the dark restaurant was doing nothing for the vigilance that he’d kept. He could barely focus on the conversation as the two of them spoke, instead opting to take one of the drinks laid out as he felt the telltale headache spreading to his temples that signaled his limit.

Once the pleasantries were over, all eyes were back on him.

Within the booth, Law could only see the outline of Doflamingo. The dark form against a wide smile made this forced date all the more disquieting. Yet even the knots he had couldn’t stop his feet from feeling so heavy.

“We haven’t spoken in years now. At least not like this,” Doflamingo leaned forward, his face coming more into view and letting the atmosphere emphasize his broad features.

“You used to be such a needy boy. It’s a shame, you even changed your phone number.”

Law finished the drink quickly, “There’s a reason for that. We have nothing to talk about.”

He heard that low chuckle that made him reach for the second drink. The attention was far too unnerving for him to sit through it completely sober.

“How cold. We do have quite the history if you remember.”

“If you wanted to talk, we could have done so at the bar. Why now?”

“There was always…someone. It’s hard to not act on a temptation when it’s sitting in front of you every night.”

Law drank again without speaking as he tried to find the sweet spot that made this situation less overwhelming.

“Ros – Corazon is quite protective of you, you know. It’s a wonder I was able to contact you at all, but he seemed extremely worried about you the other day.”

There was that slip up again. He was getting far too comfortable.

“Cora cares a lot but sometimes it’s too much. I am fine. You are the last person I’d want worrying about me.”

Law’s hand was around the third glass before he realized that he was the only one drinking. Doflamingo had an uncanny ability to control a conversation with someone like a puppeteer stringing along marionettes.

“What confidence. As I recall, you were in a lot of pain when we met.”

Law tightened his fingers around the glass.

“Judging from your handle on those drinks, are you in a position to lie to me, Law?” Doflamingo purred, leaning on the table with head in hand as he watched Law throw back the shot.

His composure was slipping.

“I –”

“Here is your food, sorry about the wait!” The waitress had the most impeccable timing as she walked up to the two men, completely oblivious to the new energy that was between them and placing down an assortment of sushi.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“No!” Law slammed his hand on the table, the sound punctuating the shout as his internal anxiety started to spill. The recoil from the employee made him all the more aware of just how quickly the dam had burst, and he pivoted to grabbing utensils off of the table instead.

“Ah, no. It’s okay.” He repeated sheepishly.

Law dared not look up at the broad smile looking back at him. Even so, he could feel that fire threatening its way in.

\-----

This wasn’t good.

Most times that Law got this drunk, he was able to sleep it off without worry that the person driving him would accost him in his sleep.

It was only after he’d ended up in Doflamingo’s car he knew what a privileged comfort that was. 

He kept his eyes forward as he sat in the passenger’s seat trying to ignore the pink that flashed in his vision every so often. Through the windshield, the tint was distracting enough that trying to look at scenery was impossible.

Unable to handle the tension, he decided to check his phone again, scrolling through the messages to feign being occupied as the two of them sat in the car. Law had tried to tell the older man that he would take himself home but, Doflamingo had insisted that his inebriated state would encourage those with bad intentions.

Law wanted to point out the hypocrisy of this statement but came up short. He cursed his brain for sitting so uselessly in his skull.

**Please be safe**

That pang of guilt crept up once more. Looking over at Doflamingo, he eyed him suspiciously as he realized that the man hadn’t made a single move since he stepped into the car. His heart was pounding in his chest from apprehension or anticipation, Law couldn’t tell.

Absolutely maddening.

“Where do you want me to take you?”

Right. They needed directions to take him back home.

Law shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he mulled his options. He didn’t want Doflamingo to know where he lived – it was a recipe for disaster – yet he couldn’t just lie and end up somewhere unfamiliar. The thought of going to Cora’s was entertained briefly before he realized that this situation would look far worse than he could even explain.

“Um –” 

He was drawing a blank.

Doflamingo leaned towards him, his height making it far easier for him to close the distance between them. He held out his hand in front, his focus on Law’s face as he knew he’d gotten his attention.

“Or is it that you would rather not back to your place?”

Law inhaled sharply as he caught eyes on the white pill sitting in Doflamigo’s palm. There it was again – that aching that seemed to deepen once he registered exactly what was going on. His nerves seemed to welcome the interference of the alcohol as it made it harder for the rest of him to oppose their will.

“You know what this is, don’t you?”

Fingers slipped the zipper of his coat down much to his meek protests. The same hazy weakness he’d felt at seeing Doflamingo’s text now choked out his ability to be as the rational as the hand peeled off the thick layer. There was confusion at the forefront of his mind as the hand crept along his waist, the warm touch a steep contrast to the cold glass against his neck as he leaned against the door.

“Wait...”

There was no resistance in that voice – a fact that was delightful for Doflamingo. Law’s response was far more Pavlovian than he could’ve hoped for and it made breaking him down into pieces a game that he loved to play.

**_You’re tired of hurting, aren’t you?_ **

Law tried to ignore that voice as he bit back a moan. He could feel a tongue sliding against his ear, the hot muscle probing his skin and drawing all of the blood from his head to his groin. All of the energy he’d used being hypervigilant now made it harder for him to resist.

He clutched desperately at the pink feathers, head buried in Doflamingo's shoulder as his nipples were fondled and his toes curled at the sensations. There were sounds coming from both of them now as the arousal from the bar owner was becoming harder for him to hide. Lips parted, his breathing was labored and only added to the suffocating air inside of the small space.

**_That’s it, just let go…_ **

**_\-----_ **

Doflamingo pulled back and soaked in the sight of his disheveled prize who was looking back at him bleary-eyed. He cupped his palm around Law’s cheek who just accepted it graciously and leaned into the warmth. It was so satisfying seeing him like this again that he couldn’t believe that it was just from alcohol and desire alone.

“You’ve been such a good boy. I think you’ve earned your treat.”

Pulling him close, he moved the pill between two fingers and pressed them between Law’s waiting mouth and shuddered at the tongue slipping this way and that between his knuckles as it hungrily chased the bitter taste of the drug.

He chuckled at how ravenous the little body had been as his tongue went back to tasting any exposed skin as he pulled his fingers from Law’s lips with a soft pop, opening the floodgates for more delicious moans.

Half-lidded eyes planted to the ceiling of the car, Law was lost in the hold of pleasure and it wasn’t going to let him go.

“Do…ffy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks so much for reading. I see every single comment and try to respond if I can cause everyone is just so darned sweet that it makes it easier for me to not get down on myself when I think something isn't great cause I sat on this for like a day ruminating haha. ಥ‿ಥ
> 
> No real notes here except I got kind of carried away and I have to clear up that it's not in fact an aphrodisiac he got, I just really wanted to highlight weakness at the hands of addictive substances + his association with them and pain and got a little carried away in it being a little...passionate.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy. This doesn't go on for much longer than this and we're hitting the bottom! Which isn't something I thought i'd ever be excited to say! Thanks for reading!


	5. Dependency

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So posting this on 11/11/2020, I have to explain what's happened here for anyone who currently reads this fic and maybe for any new people who are in the middle and are finding this now.
> 
> This chapter was brought on after I read the following chapter and realized it seemed a little...abrupt? And confusing? There was a little bit of jumping the gun on my part (I felt really bad about how sad he was) and looking back, I wanted to flesh out the dynamics of Law's relationship with himself re: Doflamingo even more and possibly even give a bit more weight/depth to the events in the next chapter. Also to explain why it is Law even got involved with these guys in the first place and the dynamic of said involvement. Nothing really changes how the next chapter goes aside from some little tweaks so don't think you've missed out on anything. (˘･_･˘)
> 
> Anyways, this is the new chapter 5, chapter 5 is now 6, and there will be notes to explain all edits. Thank you for your cooperation!

Doflamingo couldn’t let him go again.

Feeling the soft head of hair against his thigh as he drove, he was reminded of this fact once more. In the time that he watched Law and Rosinante spend together, it was a thorn in his paw that only sunk in deeper as the object of his affection slipped away. He never quite saw eye to eye with his brother on things – their business in the black market was something that Rosinante disagreed with but he stuck around because of their blood bond and to Doflamingo, family was all that you needed.

Or so he thought before meeting Law.

The longer he considered it, the more serendipitous it became. Doflamingo was certain that he had everything there was to offer in this world. Why, the task of getting it was less of a how and more of a when. Due to his status as the head of The Family – he had a lifeline attached to everything in Dressrosa and the city was a web he could manipulate at will. Every day people would come into La Corrida looking for relief in whatever form the devil would allow.

Law seeking out that relief was what made it so curious. On paper, he was a very well-adjusted person – parents were highly respected doctors with a nuclear family, religious in their structure, and he was one of the youngest students to ever graduate in his medical school class. Everything about him said that they shouldn’t have crossed paths at all.

Who would have thought a death would be such divine intervention?

When they would meet, it was something of a fall from grace. Law’s family had a reputation due to their prestige and because of that, the young doctor would have many in Dressrosa who tried to claw their way into his bubble much to his dismay. He actively avoided the spotlight except for giving speeches at the universities and speaking with local magazines when they would do profiles on how his father contributed highly to the medical community, his future in that contribution discussed at length.

One could only imagine what a murder-suicide would drive the media to do regardless of his feelings.

Law was only days fresh from the hospital before he was bombarded with the news of a death he witnessed in real time. The appetite for scandals was cavernous in its depth – a high profile doctor being tortured and shot to death in his home by a slighted female doctor? What was their history? Was killing the family part of the plan?

_How did Law survive and how will he continue on?_

That pressing line of questioning dug into him in a way that none of the others seemed to. Maybe it was the need to for a piece of information that would eventually tie it all together, one they assumed Law would be able to shine light on while he licked his own wounds. But the way it fell onto him was like watching a block tower be pulled apart and put back together – eventually, if one grabbed the wrong one it would collapse in on itself. The structure was fragile and progressively more unstable. It just needed a certain balance point to fake being concrete.

From that brought Law while he sought out something to help with the pain – things that Doflamingo could provide very well. He could remember it fondly, Baby Five brought to him a despondent little creature that only seemed to be in his office because he had given up on the idea of living but he needed to pretend otherwise. He would look so unbecoming from his public persona – unkempt hair that matched the loose lived-in sweats hanging over his wasting body as he tried to hide how little he’d eaten in the aftermath.

Those grey irises that mirrored steel in their strength and shine now dulled into graphite behind sunken eyes, all of it layered with anger and disdain for the outside world.

He wasn’t broken, not yet.

The fight in him was what made him ask Doflamingo of all people for painkillers, the ones he had gotten for his surgery were running out and he bluffed through his teeth about how it was because he was merely seeking pleasure in the drugs. They weren’t anything to him but a source of feeling good and he was in pursuit of hedonism just like everyone else. Yet, if he wanted to, he could merely scratch that itch himself. He was someone with unfettered access to the pills as he worked at a hospital.

A nurse could scratch his back and he scratch theirs.

No, there was something else in his reasoning behind seeking him out. Doflamingo decided to take a gamble in finding that out – if everything went in his favor then he would get something far more precious than a new customer. He invited Law to come have a drink with him every night, there wasn’t anything special in the time that they spent then. The bar owner merely wanted to get to know him and Law could have declined at any time. His refusal to do so signaled a deeper hole he was looking to fill with his company.

Nights turned into days with Law losing time in spending it with Doflamingo. It was a bittersweet comfort for him, there was someone who didn’t ask him about his family or their deaths nor did they give him any opportunity to confront it. Their conversations would simply consist of Law feeling the stages of grief out of order and never getting to the point of acceptance, his cycles always stopping around bargaining while he grappled with his survivor’s guilt.

He wanted someone to tell him it was okay he was holding himself together like this and to reassure him that he wasn’t flawed for it, that they loved him despite those shortcomings and would be there to catch him no matter how many times he tried to push the boulder up the hill. Those sweet nothings parading as unconditional love were things that someone wanted from a bond.

Thankfully, that was all Doflamingo had to spare and then some.

Law would fill his cup with the attention and escape that being around Doflamingo brought, yet the satisfaction never came. Someone was in his life that listened and cared for him in his darkest moment while he wished to disappear, and he found himself wanting more from that bond. Little by little, small droplets increased the volume and threatened to spill as it looked for anything that would send it all pouring out. Then one day, upon a particularly solitary evening for him after Doflamingo had finished a job, Law made a protest.

**_Doffy…don’t leave me, please._ **

It was a small concession with a much larger desire behind it. He was feeling lonely, no amount of substances could change that for him. Doflamingo was giving him affection that made him yearn for the touch of a person who made him feel safe, secure –

Loved.

He wasn’t sure he loved Doflamingo, but what else could it possibly be? He wanted to be near him, the act of being alone was so distressing that merely seeing the blonde seemed to slow everything back down again. It was grounding. It was the missing piece of everything else he wanted to help stop the frenzy of pain and sadness he felt when they were apart.

It was with that their relationship evolved into a physical necessity, the gamble that Doflamingo made was rewarding him tenfold. Every day, Law’s body was hot like fire in the way that it welcomed him, and the adoration meant the younger man was beside himself when they had sex. His face red with passion and wet with tears, the way he called out his name was a far departure from the first time they met. The life behind his eyes was a small fire being kept alive by Doffy, the man who saved him from his pain.

To Doflamingo, Law’s attachment to him was a sweet wine he hoped to drink for the rest of his days.

As the car drove through the avenue leading to his home, it felt like he was crossing a finish line. Everything had all come full circle from here. The time he spent waiting patiently was going to bring back to him his favorite person and nothing could take it away. He placed a hand in Law’s hair, gentle strokes to stir him awake so they could go in together.

“Cora…”

Ah, almost. He heard that small voice give way to the grave miscalculation that remained of his and Law’s relationship. It was infuriating that even now Law only spoke pet names of his brother, his subconscious putting his preferences on full display. As he pulled into the driveway, the reminiscent feeling of bringing this little bird in with cut feathers was soured by the knowledge that even clipped wings could still carry him far.

He needed to get a lock for the cage.

\-----

The Donquixote estate was truly a testament to the influence that The Family had in Dressrosa, this small palace-like estate sat an undisturbed oasis within the city limits. The cream brick structure stood twice as wide as it was tall, the high arched windows and pillars giving the structure an air of royalty as it’s expansive reach spread across the large lot. The home had a simple purpose of keeping everyone together, its size meant to have those precious to him safe and protected. There was an unspoken hierarchy in the structure – larger rooms with balconies overlooking the lot sat in the farthest corners of the home, a design choice that only further encouraged the trappings of anyone who were to be pulled into it.

As Doflamingo carried Law into his room, the passing of the threshold felt ceremonial in its weight as now he was here.

He was home.

Doflamingo was dizzy with excitement, his mind trying to take stock of all of the things they could do before he felt the delicate skin against his chest and returned to his senses. Law was curled up in his arms, his jacket spanned across him like a blanket to protect the naked body underneath. Doflamingo intended to merely start his dosage again but found that once Law was melting in his touch, it was impossible to stop just there and he fucked the boy into submission in the confines of a driver’s seat.

The thought of bathing him in that mindset made him feel like a glutton.

Laying Law down on the in the bed, Doflamingo heard the low rumble of a vibration coming from the coat pocket. The need to investigate was low on his list, it wasn’t as if Rosinante could reach him now and with how smoothly things were going tonight he doubted there would be any more focus on him.

“…I’m sorry.”

Doflamingo grit his teeth. He could feel the vein in his forehead threatening to burst open. Law wasn’t aware that he was doing it. There were far too many things in his system, and it wasn’t as if he would consciously say these things with the man he missed right in front of him. Still, the effects of their separation were becoming apparent.

Pulling the device out, he turned the power off and slipped it into his own pocket. Law didn’t need it anymore.

As he saw it, meeting his needs wasn’t difficult. Doflamingo did it in months the first time they met, and he was confident he could do it again. It was a matter of this relationship with Rosinante that proved to be an obstacle. Law wasn’t so easily swayed by the promises of passive acceptance anymore, his dependence on that love weakened by his fondness of the younger Donquixote.

He had to do more.

Doflamingo placed his body behind Law and pulled him up gently, the doctor waking up at the movement as he was put square into the lap and his head on the broad chest below him as the two faced one another. The sound of a heartbeat against his ear seemed to soothe, one of his hands moving upwards to feel the muscle against his palm as he sought out the touch. Law was getting more comfortable, slowly but surely.

“How are things with you and Corazon?” Doflamingo asked, taking the smaller hand between his.

Law shrunk at the question.

“Ah, I see," Doflamingo brushed his thumb against those tattooed digits, "He hates that you drink, doesn’t he?”

Law’s hand tightened at the thought. It was obvious that he had been putting aside his feelings about their fight since they went out to dinner, but the way he was being eased into it made it harder to swat them away. Doflamingo watched him twist into knots at the conflict, realizing that even after all of these years Law was still caught in a vicious cycle of self-hatred and doubt.

“I…I just can’t stop…”

Doflamingo placed his other hand in Law’s hair, stroking softly while the tears fell against his skin. Given the things Law was saying in his sleep, there was the feeling that a rift was opening between the two of them and he was pleased that he still knew how to tear into it.

“There, there. I understand. He just cares about trying to fix you.”

Law was pressing further into his touch now as the wedge was growing deeper, that little fire still smoldering behind every move he made.

“It hurts that he can’t accept all of you.”

The man in front was crying harder now, his shoulders shaking while he struggled to find his breath. He gasped at the loss of warmth as Doflamingo pulled him away from his chest, his face and cheeks now stained with the loathing he couldn’t escape. The frustration was mounting into more cracks in his armor as thought of being abandoned by Corazon became the natural conclusion. He hated himself.

He hated this.

All at once, those fears seemed to fall to the wayside as a large hand cupped his cheek, the hold giving him something tangible in the chaos he felt. Doflamingo slid his thumb against Law’s cheek, wiping away the tears as quickly as they came in tender reassurance that he still had someone there for him.

“Ah… Don’t worry, I won’t let you hurt anymore.”

Doflamingo pressed another tablet against Law’s lips which was taken softly, the fruits of his labor sprouting in the way that Law was seeking his care once again. His gracious acceptance of the drugs was the tipping point to the Law that needed him so strongly that he begged. He just needed a little insurance by increasing the dose.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, hm?”

\-----

His head was swimming.

Just moments ago, he was confronted again with the fact that he didn’t want to lose Cora. It was a fact that was eating away at him the more he spent time with Doflamingo and how their connection should have ended at the hospital when Law felt the cravings creeping onto him again. He was thinking about returning to apologize to Cora and tell him that he was ready to seek treatment, ready to accept his help and fix their relationship.

He needed to not get sucked back into this whirlwind of a person again.

So why then was this feeling so good?

The steamy heat of bathroom was making him weak. As he was held, Doflamingo’s hands were inching over every part of his skin, the touch like flames that threatened to spread. He wanted to let it engulf him if it meant this pleasure would replace everything he had felt over the last 48 hours. No more guilt. No more worry or shame. Please, just give him this and he could drown in it.

“Ahn…Ah…”

His back arched at the electricity running to the tips of his toes as Doflamingo washed him, pointedly turning his attention to Law’s cock and letting him squirm at how smoothly the soap let his hands glide along the organ. The lubrication made hitting those sweet spots easier and it was that constant stream of pleasure that was playing with the rest of his senses.

“Oh god…oh god.”

They had fucked previously in the car but none of it seemed to dull his desire for more. It was settling in just how much the drugs helped him feel it and consumed everything else that wasn’t focusing on this sensation. He was getting high off of the building climax alone as the movement increased pace with his moans, his hands digging into Doflamingo’s thighs as he was gripped and stroked harder.

“Doff-aah,” He couldn’t even get the words out before he was overwhelmed by the feeling, dancing stars and colors behind shut eyes as he came right into Doflamingo’s hand. His hips thrust forward to meet the hand still pumping away at his cock and prolonging that wave until he couldn’t possibly take it anymore.

He just didn’t have the energy to focus on anything else but the man sitting behind him who was kissing the nape of his neck gently, arms wrapped protectively around him in a gesture that made his heart warm. Doflamingo seemed satisfied enough with that touch as they sat together in silence, taking in the skin to skin contact that he was starved from.

There was only a moment of calm before he felt Doflamingo’s teeth sinking into his shoulder, a heavy appetite hiding behind that taste.

\-----

Doflamingo was thrilled at the sight. Looking at Law, his cheeks flushed pink in the afterglow of their bodies being tangled together in the bath. He felt satisfied that there was so much he could draw from just being in his presence once more. There was still so much to be done, all he needed to do was remove anyone who chose to still dig their nails into his back.

He walked over to the intercom on the wall, pressing the call button as he spoke,

“Senor Pink, I need you to come to my room.”

There was a beat before he continued speaking,

“Oh. And bring Dellinger with you. I have a job for you two.”

Doflamingo long ago decided Rosinante’s involvement would only be forgiven so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Apologies to anyone if it seems unsatisfying to go backwards like this, but I couldn't stop thinking about this. I really appreciate anyone who even clicks on this fic and I'm happy that people are so kind about everything. This is a little hobby for me at the end of the day but the people enjoying it really keep me going. ( ◜‿◝ )♡


	6. Trough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for descriptions of drugs, mild violence, and DoFlaw. I've updated the tags accordingly.
> 
> UPDATE 11/11/2020: Since the addition of the previous chapter, this chapter has had minor edits done to it, nothing changed overall within the confines of story progression.

_‘And we expect the snow to stick around for the next few days…’_

The satellite image spun with all shades of blue and purple as it went over a green background. The weather report wasn’t unusual for Dressrosa – it always snowed in early November though the timing was one for the betting types. This year, it was the earliest it’d ever been and seemed to slow down the city overnight. Sitting in his patio furniture on the balcony, he could see snow piled up on the sidewalks below and the streets had people walking instead of driving as to not dare take a chance to dance with the devil on an icy road.

Maybe that’s why Law hadn’t come by recently – or at least, that’s what Corazon had chosen to tell himself.

He absentmindedly listened to the TV, his mind elsewhere as he thought about the things he said to Law several days ago and why he hadn’t seen him since. Law tended to shut down when cornered, a coping mechanism that was only exacerbated by the fact that he was a high-functioning alcoholic who threw himself into his work at any given unwelcome tension. All of it cumulated into him becoming a far bigger recluse than he already was.

“I knew this, and I still pushed him.”

The sigh he let out fell from his shoulders to his knees as he was riddled with guilt for letting his emotions get the better of him. He didn’t even realize how much the thought of Law getting alcohol poisoning had scared him until the sight of his slumped body made his ears ring with worry and he saw how close to the edge Law had gotten.

If he had been even an hour too late…

No, it would’ve been okay even without that. Corazon needed to put that thought out of his mind. There were far worse things that Law had used to self-medicate and he’d helped him through it. Eyes grazing, he noticed the paper bag of pills he’d gotten as a “gift” to Law on the patio table next to him. 

Corazon grimaced. Bringing a cigarette to his lips, his fingers fumbled on the light as he tried to busy his hands.

The insidious thing about Doffy giving him this was that it wasn’t even a tease – it was a warning. It was a signal that even before Corazon had noticed where Law was, there was already a way for him to drag him back. His brother wasn’t one to assume he deliver on the message that was giving Law something that’d caused such a rift in their relationship.

Taking in a deep drag, he found it hard to remove the images from his memory. The thin body sweating profusely as he swung between nausea and crying from the pain that make him shake uncontrollably. Every few hours, he would ask Corazon how much time had passed and get increasingly agitated at the answer, the passage alone consumed his every thought. Heartbreaking still was that Law had refused to go to a hospital as he was terrified of his fellow interns finding out that he’d become addicted to the very painkillers that they’d given him for his surgery.

And it was that weakness that Doffy had decided to feed and exploit.

Of all things Doffy liked most, it was something broken and traumatized that needed him. If he could use them, it was icing on the cake.

Corazon leaned back and sunk into his feather jacket, watching the pillars of smoke wash into the night sky above as the snowflakes danced past them – the two barely missing each other. After all, he wasn’t without fault. Law continued to drink even after he’d managed to detox because of the way it dulled his senses. Corazon had let him as a selfish way to keep a watchful eye and talk to him in the hopes he would eventually come to reason.

“Damn it…”

His jaw tightened. He was ruminating now and none of it was useful for the current situation. There was chum in the water and he needed to figure out something to say so they could figure out a game plan for his treatment together. Even after all of this time he wasn’t sure exactly what to expect from trying to save Law from his brother. Maybe he just hoped there would be a happier person behind the one who was trying to stuff the pain behind getting high and drunk. One that could flourish better when he wasn’t stuck to – or under – Doffy all of the time.

More than anything, he just wanted Law to be okay.

Corazon thought about whether or not to send another text. For what felt like the millionth time that day, he found himself going to the text thread between him and Law:

**Me (4 days ago):  
Let’s talk about it. Maybe over coffee. You can have yours Irish.**

Four days. It had never been that long since he’d gone without speaking with Law, even during the times that he got super busy with work he found pockets of breathing room to send him some sign of life whether it be an emoticon or just a random blank text. The grumpy doctor really was awful with phone communication – even more so than in person if you could believe it – and it was endearing that he tried to update him despite that.

It was knowing that that Corazon was more convinced than ever he had really fucked this up.

He sighed. This was the first night he’d had off in days as Doflamingo increased his responsibilities at the bar, suddenly dumping more shifts on him which made finding time to go check on Law in person nearly impossible. Still, Law wasn’t one to enjoy a surprise visit, so he decided to call after giving him some time apart. Moving to find Law’s contact information in his phone, he was startled by the sudden buzzing in his hands as he got a call.

Strange. It was a number he’d never seen before. In the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but hold out hope that maybe it was Law contacting him from a new number and that’s why he’d fallen off of the face of the Earth.

“Hello?” He answered, hardly disguising how pleased he was from the other person on the line.

“Um. Hello, is this a Rosinante Donquixote?” It was a woman’s voice on the other side of the call, a realization that made him shift into a much more neutral tone.

“Yes, may I ask whose calling?”

“This is Dr. Kureha. I’m the chief of medicine at Acacia Hospital. How are you?”

Corazon nearly dropped the phone as the blood rushed from his head. To himself, he applauded the fact that he’d bothered to be sitting down though it did nothing to fully quell the anxiety. He had to keep in mind that the chief of medicine was the hospital director and she may have just been calling to deliver a message about Law.

Though, wishful thinking had a limit.

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry. This is him. I’m doing well, how are you? How are things with Law? He’s spoken very highly of you.” He cleared his throat in a transparent attempt to move through the silence.

“Ah, that sounds like Law. He’s quite good with his work which makes the fact that I haven’t seen him in my hospital for several days now to be extremely alarming.” Her sly tone was laced with frustration. It was obvious she wasn’t just making this call as a friend but rather someone who was at her wits end with an otherwise difficult doctor.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where he is, would you?”

It was as if the wind could blow him over right now. Corazon was trying to steady himself and be less alarmed at these innocent questions as they pummeled him with a reality he was already trying to not entertain.

“Ah, he hasn’t come in. I will have to go check up on him at home, I’m deeply sorry he’s missed work. You know how he is. He is a bit stubborn when it comes to getting sick.” The polite stream of consciousness didn’t even register in his ears as he waded through his thoughts.

“I see. Well, if you find him, please let us know. We would hate to have to fire an employee over a misunderstanding.”

“Of course, goodbye.”

Everything was moving in slow motion.

His body was at odds with his mind, the former stiff and disoriented like a newborn foal but the latter was already filling with every scenario possible faster than he could keep track. Law didn’t miss work for a lot of things and the list seemed ever growing in the ways that he could have been indisposed. What if he really was sick? What if he got so upset over their argument that he –

_No. No. He wouldn’t do that. He’s okay._

Corazon was doing damage control for his own sake. Law trusted him enough to reach out whenever he was having a problem, he would have done so now. There was that time a week ago, but Law would have understood that he wanted to help him and wouldn’t do anything drastic.

Moving robotically as he forced himself through the apartment and towards the front door, Corazon grabbed the keys from the hook.

_Law was okay, he just needed someone to come wake him up._

He repeated this mantra as the potential reality was being pushed into a corner. He would get to it when he was ready. The streets being filled with snow and ice was a hazard that Corazon didn’t bother entertaining right now as he ran to his car, openly cursing to the night as he slipped and fell repeatedly on his way to the curb.

Getting into the driver’s seat, he pulled out his phone to send Law another text. His hands stung from repeated impacts on the ground though the pain was manageable with the flight-or-fight response replacing his blood with sheer adrenaline.

 **Me (now):** **Law. I’m coming by. Please be okay.**

Corazon paused before typing again and throwing the phone in the passenger’s seat.

 **Me (now):** **I love you, I’m sorry.**

\-----

He was lucky to be alive.

Corazon realized only after parking his car that even in the hastiest of thought processes that being able to navigate his car through ice was something that wasn’t helped by hindsight. Across the dashboard, several smashed cigarettes sat behind the steering wheel as a testament to his frantic state of mind.

_Calm. Down._

Holding up a new cigarette to the lit nub in his mouth, he exited the car and seized for a moment as the cold stung at his cheeks. The dimly lit street with the wind was disorienting. Corazon could only squint and cover his eyes with his arm in an effort to acclimate.

“Ah, Boss was right! He would come here.” A chipper voice carried on the wind.

Corazon perked up slightly at the sound, his eyes grazing across the plane as he tried to find the source. His search was abruptly stopped as he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, flying into the car door with such force that it knocked the air out of him.

“Oi! We aren’t here to kill him, Dellinger.” A gruff voice scolded as the other giggled.

“Sorry, Sorry!”

Clearly someone was having a lot of fun.

Corazon tried to parse out the voices between the searing pain that was spreading through him. He grabbed his chest in an effort to check his breathing, the rise and fall coming with waves of sharp discomfort that was made worse by the dry air. His eyes stayed towards the ground as the footsteps got closer to him, a set of high heels and black boots now flanking his body.

Before he could react, there was another sharp kick to his face. The tip of the shoe made digging into the sensitive parts of his flesh all the more intense and for all he knew, that was the point.

“Sorry to do this to you, Rosi. But we were told to stop you if you tried looking for that guy. He’s not here.”

Corazon lifted his head to meet his assaulters. There was a blonde teen looking back at him, his large round eyes filled with utter bloodlust. In the cold, the best protection he could spare was a long sleeve coat that hung barely past his groin and no pants underneath, the fashion choice meant to highlight the legs that he was now using to kick the shit out of the younger Donquixote brother.

The man next to him was well-dressed, black pants combined with a sleek black overcoat combined fruitlessly with the nonchalant attitude over the beating happening next to him. As the snow started to stain with blood, he merely pulled out a comb and ran it through his coiffed black hair while sucking in on the cigarette between his lips.

“That’s enough.” Senor Pink spoke calmly over the hysterical giggling and pained groans that filled the streets as the victim’s body met the car with heavy smacks.

“But killing him would be so easy! How boring!” Dellinger whined.

As the blows stopped Corazon tried to breathe, blood spilling from his mouth as he coughed onto the pavement. He groaned with every inhale, the sharp pain restricting his movements and making him weak to gravity. The taste of iron pouring on his tongue was only secondary to the emotions he felt as he realized what was happening.

“I’m saying this as a favor to you. Just leave Boss to his own devices,” He took a drag from the cigarette, the ashes falling into Corazon’s bangs,

“You’re his only brother. He hates when you two fight like this.”

Corazon said nothing, feeling spent from the beating and the feelings that made finding the words harder and harder.

Upon surveying Corazon’s limp body – convinced that they had “delivered the message” properly – the two walked back into the main street and left him to his wounds. Corazon sat still for just a moment, the anger washing over him in waves while he waited for some energy to return to him. He ran his hand over the pavement until his palms were met with his cigarette, the stick now damp from ice and blood.

As he lit it, he made a mental note to go buy another pack before he got back into his car.

\-----

The snow showed no signs of stopping, the peaceful flurries falling into piles against the balcony window as if hugging each other to brace from the cold. Through the glass door, moonlight poured into the room and graced everything with its gentle touch. It was expansive even in the large room and touched the other side in its stretch as it blanketed the bed. A plush white comforter curled up against equally plush pillows, their pink and white hue giving everything a soft romantic feel as they sat flat on top of the mattress.

Gray irises laid against a pillow as they stared at the clock on the wall ahead. It was a simple clock, black hands across a white background with a red second hand that moved rhythmically along the numbers as it continued its orbit. The movement was hypnotic and seemed to grasp the attention of the man laying down, watching the show with languid intrigue until the seconds hand started to pass over the shorter hour.

Seven…eight…

Oh. It’s almost eight o’clock.

That particular revelation didn’t bother him any. He briefly entertained whether or not it was the morning or afternoon before abandoning the possibility altogether as he realized he didn’t care. All he knew that it had been two hours since he last looked at the clock and it all seemed to pass in the span of minutes. Picking himself up, he reached down to grab onto the vodka bottle sitting on the floor before taking several drinks. The blanket underneath his fingers was nothing compared to the soft warmth that was hugging his entire being, limbs relaxed as everything else in this world melted into a puddle of unconcern.

The sky could rain fire and brimstone and it would mean nothing to him.

Around him, the walls of the room faded to black as his mind began soaking in the comfort in his muscles and disregarding any input that it deemed not important to continuing this bliss. Within the darkness small tufts of white started to drift around him, accumulating slowly as they landed around his body. He was being buried in the snow yet the cold didn’t touch him. It was just weight that added to the sleepy heaviness pulling at his eyelids.

“Law…”

In the midst of his trance, the hot touch of rough skin on his hip started to break through the mold.

“How are you feeling?” A playful voice teased in his ear. The continued caress made his hairs stand on end as they charged with electricity. The sensations pulled him out of his daze aggressively as he was pulled closer to the muscular body ahead. A hand snaked him further into its grasp, opening up the pink robe hanging loosely around his shoulders while the other brushed against his scalp into his hair.

While his mind sunk further into the blissful quicksand, two competing pleasures were collapsing onto one another and rendering everything else obsolete. The hand was tugging his head backwards, the slight tension on his scalp only translated to ecstasy when he felt a set of lips press into his own, their tongues seeking each other in the desperate heat.

When they broke apart, there was a small whimper of objection as the smaller man sought out the taste. He was already far too hungry to be teased like this.

“Do –” He was cut off by the blonde’s lips on his neck, bits of skin being sucked into teeth that nibbled and grazed across the sensitive area. Law tried to speak but it was as if his mouth refused to oblige instead opting to make encouraging sounds that fluttered between moans and heavy pants. The tilt of his neck made so much of him accessible which only aroused his need further.

“Mnnn… You still want more? Even after I already came in you once today.” Doflamingo purred, his other hand reaching between the tattooed mans legs and pressing his thumb into the tip of the dripping hardness that was poking against his thigh. The hitch of Law’s breath in his ear drove him to milk more of this reaction, drinking it in until he was satisfied as hips started bucking against his hand and begging him to move.

Law was completely lost in it all. He didn’t even know how long they’d been at this, just that with each passing session Doflamingo was tightening his hold around him and making a mess of his thoughts endlessly. Every time they finished, he was rewarded with another tablet and a return to the highs that came with it. Again, and again, wrapping himself in that comfort in an endless pattern.

Feeding on that wonderful intoxication was enough to make him cry.

In his daze, he was distracted from a hand grabbing his waist and pulling him up onto his lap as the two of them faced each other, Law on his knees as to match Doflamingo’s towering height. There was heat in his cheeks from the desire but also from the knowledge that he was on display, purple and red marks peppered between the large heart tattoo on his chest. In bed, Doflamingo took his sunglasses off - a marked departure from his street persona and one that turned Law on to no end. He already knew he was being watched intently behind that red plastic but those deep brown eyes hid a hunger and insatiable appetite that sent shivers down his spine. 

“Mngh…”

Law was a sight to behold. His hands were grasping for anything to help him maintain his balance. Knees buckling as the pace increased around him, coils tightening and increasing the tension until he was ready to break. Doflamingo moved his fingers from the mouth now barely hanging onto him, a thin string of saliva hung loosely from the tips as the drool poured down his chin. 

“Look at you, you’re ready to burst.” Doflamingo hadn’t stopped his teasing, grabbing a handful of Law’s ass and slipping his fingers between the cheeks. The fact that he was still wet from before started to push him over the edge as he tried to restrain himself until he could prepare properly. He could feel the impatience mounting as he breeched the tight hole with little resistance and wet heat started to spill across his hand. As he scissored the digits into the malleable entrance, his cock ached painfully when Law's pulsed wildly in his other hand – he was getting close.

With that sign, Doflamingo slowed his pace and smiled at the angry cry he heard in response.

“Do-Doffy. Please.”

“Please what?”

Those gray irises were looking at him now, flanked with a deep red from his cheeks as he watched Law try to articulate just how much he needed it.

Needed him.

“I want you to,” Law paused, realizing that wasn’t the word Doflamingo wanted to hear, “I need you to make me come. I can’t take it.”

Doflamingo chuckled low into his throat as he leaned into Law and bit softly at his earlobe.

“Good boy.”

All of the buildup compounded in one moment as Law felt the pressure of Doflamingo pushing into him, the other man letting out a groan as he felt the tight muscle gripping onto his dick the further he slid in. That was enough to put Law over the edge and he wrapped his arms around the taller man as he came, back arched as he covered both of them in sticky warmth.

Coming down from the orgasm, Law could feel his head spinning as he was also on the comedown from his previous dose. The warm tingle in his veins was fading now and the unease he felt as he was floating back to reality started to settle in.

The focus on that bad feeling didn’t last long as Doflamingo started to thrust into him, encouraged by the tightening walls around his cock and relishing in the passionate moans coming out of Law’s mouth. The continued assault on his sweet spot made him see stars, a welcome distraction to the pit in his stomach. He was blinded by the medley of pain and pleasure in his side as Doflamingo dug his fingernails into the soft tissue of his waist, spurred on by the way Law's voice was worn from crying out. 

It was those sounds that pulled at Doflamingo's control as he increased his speed. They let this pleasure grab hold and drag them in further, the room filling with loud moans and creaking of the bed as the thrusting increased in its intensity and their bodies melted together from the heat. Every time he felt Doflamingo start to pulse inside of him, Law clenched in response as the feedback loop reached its peak.

In the midst of their fucking, Law could hear sounds coming from outside that got lost in the sounds he was making. There were voices – lots of them, loud and emotionally charged.

What was going on?

“God, you’re tight. Agh–” Doflamingo growled, pressing his lips back onto Law’s as he pushed up forcefully, trying to get as deeply as possible as he came. He carefully watched Law’s expression change from dizzy to surprise to euphoric as he felt the warmth fill him up, his lips moving hungrily against Doflamingo’s in an attempt to maintain the touch while the rest of him melted into it. Law shuddered as they stayed connected for a few moments longer, a degrading pleasure sweeping through him as the telltale wetness poured along his thighs.

He winced as Doflamingo pulled out of him, all of the feelings of the comedown were in full force and the feeling of anxiety heightened. His arms still wrapped around the blonde, he tried not to be forceful as he leaned into his shoulder.

“Doffy… I don’t feel good.” The voice was soft, fingers digging into the man’s shirt as to highlight the need.

“Ah, that time already? It has been a few hours,” He ran a finger along Law’s spine, “though it’s good that you’re already craving more. I wonder if it means we can move to something a bit stronger.”

Law shivered at the touch as Doflamingo wrapped his arm around the smaller body, his forearm underneath his thighs to support him as he stood. The raven-haired doctor clung to him and sat quietly, his focus mainly on figuring out when he would get his fix. As they walked, more commotion below them went in one ear and out the other.

“Hm…” He hummed, slightly curious to ask what was happening. He glanced up at Doflamingo who was merely ignoring it all and setting Law into his lap as they sat down in a gray armchair close to the balcony window, sliding the door open slightly to introduce some cool air. Law watched the snow still falling outside, his eyes catching the soft movements while Doflamingo calmly prepared things around him.

It was then that a small wooden box on the side table caught his attention, the contents of which were a small syringe, alcohol wipes, and a bag with a crystalline substance just as white as the pills he regularly took. He swallowed hard as he watched the large hands grab the device, acutely aware of the substance and feeling his mouth dry in anticipation.

It was scary just how eager he was to scratch that itch. He could hear more voices in his ears – of his conscience or his addiction, he couldn’t tell.

He watched as Doflamingo wrapped a long piece of fabric around his left arm, the pooling of blood causing pins and needles in his fingers as he opened and closed his fist. Leaning onto the other man’s chest, his eyes went to the window again while he let himself be prepped with the alcohol swab before the needle was parallel with his forearm.

Law closed his eyes tightly at the pressure.

“There you go…” Doflamingo spoke lovingly in Law’s ear.

The feeling of the needle going into his skin made him breathe in deeply, the discomfort slight and quick as the metal settled into his arm. Opening his lids slowly, he couldn’t help but watch it now, skin dripping as the plunger pulling back slightly and tinging the mixture inside with a deep red.

Oh god.

His back arched slightly as it pushed into his veins. Oh god, he couldn’t wait to fly again.

“DOFFY!”

A roar from behind him came as Doflamingo was thrown sideways with the chair, the syringe going with him and the impact causing Law to drop to the floor on his tied arm. He involuntarily gasped at the painful pressure in his upper arm as the fabric cut further into the circulation. In an attempt to immediately relieve himself, he untied the knot and laid against it for a moment while the blood rushed into the limb.

“You ghoul! You absolute fucking ghoul! How dare you!” The voice dripped with anger.

Wait. Law lifted his head, the movement immediately registering as a mistake as he became lightheaded and he could feel his pulse in his ears. Ahead of him, he could make out a very tall figure on top of Doflamingo, the sounds of wet skin against skin as yellow and red bounced wildly.

No. No, No, No, No, No. 

There were knots in in his stomach as he tried to get a grip on the situation and power through the warmth that was overpowering his system. The drugs were kicking in and it was working against everything else in him that wanted to move faster towards the balcony door. He could crawl away and hide.

“Cora.” He wheezed meekly. It was so strange to want guilt, yet it never came.

More yelling and sounds of impact echoed through the room for a moment before finally subsiding. It was all Law could do to keep his head down and listen to the fight happening next to him yet feeling powerless to stop it. A cruel joke was being played on him and he didn’t appreciate it one bit.

“Law.” Large arms wrapped around his body and lifted him standing – their warmth equal to that of the artificial kind that he sought out in the drug. He couldn’t bring himself to focus on anything but the comfort the drug was bringing him, and he cursed it all.

“God, look at you. I’m sorry, I should’ve talked to you sooner.”

Law was limp in his arms, the kindness dug into him as the internal conflict raged on. On the ground, he could see trails of blood coming from Doflamingo’s unconscious body and even more pooling around his feet as the two of them embraced.

“Cora, what happened to you?”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

The robe around his shoulders was disheveled yet he could feel a wetness starting to weigh on the cloth as Corazon held him tight and continued speaking.

“It’s not your fault, Law. I’m not mad at you.”

Corazon pulled away from him now and Law got to look at him in full. He was bloodied and bruised, his shaggy blonde hair stuck together with blood while more streaks fell down his face. His left eye was blackened and swollen shut and all of it was even less grotesque than the bullet holes that riddled his torso.

Law couldn’t do anything but stare, his eyes wide with alarm as the gravity of the situation piled on. His friend was badly injured. He needed a hospital.

“You’re not fine… You need a doctor. I can help.”

Corazon just smiled broadly at him, the same smile that greeted him day after day in the bar and never faltered. It was a smile that shattered everything Law was feeling into small pieces because it was so familiar and it made everything else about this so absolutely painful. Looking into his eyes, Law felt his heart race as it started to sink in.

His eyes weren’t smiling.

“I love you.”

With that, Corazon gave him a huge push out and he felt the transition from the mild cold coming through the backdoor to the absolute frost from the outside. Falling backwards, Law tried to maintain his balance, but the alcohol and drugs were playing hacky sack with his sense of perception. Still flailing, his body was met with the metal railing and he still couldn’t fight the force as it took him off of the second floor.

“Cora! WAIT – ”

His voice caught in his throat as he saw Corazon fall over sideways, his hair flying upwards as at the impact went right through his skull. The deafening sound rang in his ears,

**BANG.**

No.

**BANG.**

This couldn’t be happening. It can’t.

He yelped at the impact of the snow hitting his backside, the thin robe doing little to help him fight off the shock from the cold as more gunshots rang above. As he lay on the ground, he stared into the night sky and let the small pieces of ice bite at every part of his skin. The tingles in his arms and neck were subsiding as he started to level out, the one thing he didn’t need right now as it gave an opening for him to feel the pain he now wanted desperately to push down.

Law tried to stifle the paralyzing sobs he felt as he sat up, realizing he didn’t want Doflamingo to find him as he was thrown to a less visible spot from the balcony looking down. If he moved now, he could get out of the Donquixote estate unharmed. Frustration and grief propelled him up and forward as he made his way out through the sides of the home, taking precaution to not be seen by anyone else.

As he made his way around, he noted the lack of other people around grateful that they were now in Doflamingo’s room taking stock of the situation. Walking onto the main street, he felt a small weight in the right pocket of his robe and investigated it quickly.

It was his phone.

He realized Cora must have snuck it onto him when they embraced, and his heart ached at the how he’d been cared for until the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! AH I hesitated writing it this way because it kind of seemed like the breaking point was lost in between him doing drugs or drinking but we persevere. Thanks for reading it even with the little break I took in between cause the election destroyed my sleep schedule but we back at it again (FDT).
> 
> Apologies to anyone who isn't a huge DofLaw shipper, I'm not either but I just had to write out at least one scene. 
> 
> This will be it for the extremely tragic character background because I don't know why I had to commit like this LOL. ⊙﹏⊙ He gets better from here, I promise.


	7. Lifeline

At first glance, the things he was seeing were nondescript.

White…

Everything was white.

Opening his eyes, the bright light was relentless in its path as it dominated all other sensory input into light and dark with little concern for the fine details, the feeling bringing with it an unusual serenity as it flowed in. It was hard to pin down exactly what was hidden in that space though the emptiness allowed for whatever definition seemed the most palatable. Eyelids fluttered quickly as they tried to adjust and dissect what was happening.

“Oh, Law, you’re awake,”

A voice. Whose exactly was it? Where was it coming from?

The mystery unfolded itself in pieces. As the light started to dim, his eyes calibrating to its intensity, it was guided by a beeping coming from his side. It was slow and rhythmic, a mechanical soundtrack to the confusion that was plaguing him. The air he breathed was just as empty as the light it hailed from, the only thing behind it was something less of purity and more of a forced cleanliness.

Something sterile.

Every new piece of information added to the aching in his temples. Law breathed in, his chest straining in the expansion and working a clumsy melody with the beeping that kept in time. The more he focused on his breathing, the more the beeping tried to outpace him. His limbs were heavy and uncooperative, their unwillingness to move started to cement the barrier between subconscious and reality.

He’d been here before and it was a dangerous path to walk down. The memories were a pandoras box of his psyche he chose to keep closed all of these years. The fact that they were being uncovered told him that maybe he wasn’t choosing to think about this. Reality was harsh and he decided to hide in a place that was buried the furthest in his mind. It seemed cruel still that his escape decided it would be in the one thing he chose not to think about over the last five years.

This wasn’t where he wanted to be.

“Am I…” He said groggily, eyes scanning more of his surroundings as he tried not to wish aloud. There were no other people in the room with him, the room empty save for whatever signs of the nurse in charge of his post-surgery care. He looked down at his hands, an IV drip and heart monitor clip on his middle finger only furthered the idea that this was a living memory he finally unearthed.

Law was thinking about the aftermath of their deaths again, the confusion and terror he felt waking up alone in the hospital and the uncomfortable conversations that came soon after. He was dreaming. _Or worse._ But maybe that was too far of a leap given his record. It was a bitter relief to think that he wasn’t actually here in this hospital room. The things he saw were just a result of getting drunk at home in his apartment.

It was all a nightmare. Thank god.

He knew how this would go, he would be sitting here in this bed and the police officers would come in to talk to him about how they responded to an emergency call. They would falter between mechanical and sympathetic as he asked about the status of his family members, exchanging glances to find the words that would have the least impact as if there was a difference between a ton of rocks or a ton of bricks.

Well, since he was stuck to relive it anyways, Law figured there was nothing left to do but go along for the ride. The door opened and he held his breath for the inevitable misery to come.

Two officers walked into the room. The first was a well-polished man, eyes hidden behind sunglasses as dark as his hair. He was more like a soldier both in looks and demeanor, tanned skin against hair buzzed flat and his expression stoic. The only thing that unmasked the perfection was the piece of piece of shrimp stuck to his left cheek on top of his pointed sideburn and goatee. Accompanying him was a smaller woman, her appearance was much softer as if to balance out the sharpness. Long green hair framed her face and only enhanced her orange eyes and pale skin.

As they sat down next to him, the echoes of the heart monitor drastically changed its rhythm.

There was something off about this. The police officers were different, he was sure of it. One was a much crabbier man with white hair and the distinct smell of cigar smoke. His partner was a woman with black hair and glasses, nothing remarkable about her aside from how she berated the first man for his coarse approach to telling him about how his life was changing forever.

Law inhaled sharply. Maybe there was something he was forgetting. Repressing these memories made it hard to piece together all of the details. His chest ached as his heart threatened to leap from his body, the familiar pain still keeping his mind focused on what was going on.

“Dr. Trafalgar? Hello, I’m Detective Monet. This is my partner, Detective Vergo,” The woman began, her tone careful in her approach to introducing themselves.

It had been so long since Law heard the halting of those gears that he didn’t even recognize the sound hitting him head on. His pulse was pounding in his temples and he instinctively put a hand to his chest to feel it against his ribs.

“Do you know why you’re here?”

He felt for the coarse bandages under his fingertips that told him he was just having this dream again, the ones that told him with finality that he’d survived a shooting and he was to be branded with that forever.

_One…_

“You were found unconscious outside last night, you’re lucky to be alive in this weather –”

_Two…_

The words were trailing off into murmurs and empty noise as the ringing in his ears heightened. The feeling of those scars on his chest was cementing his reality. Law could see the black halo around his vision that signaled his consciousness leaving him.

_This wasn’t real. It wasn’t real._

His eyes screwed shut as the conversation continued on. The bile rising stung at his throat, the nausea coming from all sides as the shock pelted him.

“– the injuries on your body, you may have been a victim of sexual assault. I’m sorry this is happening to you. I know it must be hard to hear this after waking up.”

Law was right, reality was harsh. Reality was so fucking harsh. Behind those eyelids, the images of blonde hair flying at impact shot them back open. He couldn’t unsee it as much as he wanted to, and it stood to erase every memory they had together. The way he was hyperventilating distressed him further as the rest of his senses gave up to the collapsing realization.

“Sir?”

_He was in the hospital._

“That’s… That’s not what…happened.” He tried to say the words calmly, yet his voice shook with emotions he barely recognized.

_And Corazon was dead._

“I know this is a lot to process, but –” The stoic detective cut in curtly as the good cop-bad cop routine started in full swing.

_No._

“You’re a police officer, right? Listen to me, then. I witnessed a murder. Rosinante Donquixote was shot to death.” Law interjected, desperately trying to fight the bubbling emotions under the surface. He turned to the officers who only stared back at him in bewilderment.

“Dr. Trafalgar,” Monet began as she placed a hand on the bed in an attempt to comfort him as he became increasingly more agitated, “Do you remember where you were last?”

His protests caught in his throat at the question. The last thing Law could remember was seeing Cora being shot, the effect it had on him overwhelmed every other possible conclusion he could think of. He looked back at his hands and arms as if they held the answers.

**_Why couldn’t he remember anything else?_ **

“I – I don’t. But I saw it. He was killed and I barely escaped with my life. The pain in my chest is because I fell from a second-floor balcony before I got out.”

The detectives exchanged looks before going back to the victim who was trying to will himself into a new timeline.

“Your current memory loss and the intoxicated state we found you in may suggest this assault was drug-facilitated. You were on a road outside of private property but without anything other than this accusation, we can’t investigate that.” Vergo said plainly, firm in reiterating this point to Law who was gripping the blanket with such force it threatened to tear.

Law didn’t know what to do. Every time he closed his eyes, it played like a broken record. There he was, falling over a railing as he watched the first bullet pierce him. It was so clear and the pain it brought was so vicious that he could pass out. Yet, the more he thought about it the less sure he was about how it happened. The details muddied between being out drinking and Cora being shot with few events filling in the cracks.

The female detective eyed him sympathetically, “I’m sorry, we understand that assault victims sometimes come up with preferable conclusions to their circumstances to cope with what has happened.”

More doubt sowed itself into his thoughts. The crushing reality of his decisions was highlighted by the cool air he felt across his body, the thin layer of sweat beading through his pores and trying to wick away the heat on his skin. He couldn’t remember anything that happened between those major events. His mind was failing him greatly even through the trauma that veiled it all.

Law grit his teeth at the missing variable.

The aftermath was branded on his body. Looking at his chest, the pattern of love bites across his tattoos told the story of him being involved with someone and the likely events that occurred between them. He tried to drag forward more of the memories but only landed on a near-death Cora looking at him and spilling words of endearment from his bloodied mouth.

Still, if he didn’t have anything else to back up his claims then what was telling the police going to do for him? Who was going to believe him when everything he had were just vague recollections leading up to it? Did he do something to get Cora killed because of his drinking?

That last line of thought sent him reeling.

**_It was his fault then?_ **

“Unfortunately, we don’t have any leads as to what happened, but we can follow up with you once we get more information.” Monet said as she laid a card with a case number on the bed in front, the interaction went right over the young doctor’s head as his expression showed him wildly searching for answers in vain.

The detectives decided to take their leave as Law checked out completely, the opportunity as good as any. Walking through the hallway, Vergo looked down at the smaller woman whose face had broken into a wicked smile at their departure.

“You’re looking too accomplished for an ‘officer’ who just tortured a kid.”

Monet shot a look at Vergo who was keeping up his cool demeanor as always, refusing to show how pleased he was in the moment.

“The look on his face says we did well.”

\-----

Law’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Thinking about exactly what happened didn’t change the things that remained fact in his mind – Cora was dead, and he had something to do with it. The two of them were in an embrace and they were separated just as quickly, exchanging last words that would only be white noise later on.

He couldn’t describe what he was feeling. It was more than the regular guilt or shame that came with him going on a drunken escapade. The regret ate at him as he thought about the things he intended to say to mend the relationship between him and Cora. He never would say it out loud – these were things he didn’t think it needed to be spoken – but he thought of him as a family member he had found long after he thought he wasn’t able to have those relationships ever again. Now he never would get to.

The thought of getting and losing family twice was too much to bear.

Law was wholly unprepared for the possibility of being this lucid. For five years, he tried to dig himself deeper into the hole so he could hide from his problems. Each time the light would reach him at that depth, he just created more space between him and the surface. Now, the ground was harder and harder to claw into and he was stuck having all of it exposed no matter how much he hated it.

The way his body felt was unbearable. His nausea and headaches were becoming worse as the time went on, exacerbated by his anxiety and spelling out for him the dependency that controlled everything else in his life. He didn’t even have the room to feel grief between the violent departure from his baseline that was making the alarm bells go off.

Even after all of this, why was he still thinking about how much he needed a drink?

He was distracted by the sound of a door opening as someone entered the room. The long grey hair sitting over the white coat was an unwelcome sight even for him. As terrible as he looked, he wasn’t even sure how to approach his boss now coming in to speak with him over what time he hadn’t a clue.

“Dr. Kureha,” Law began, now more aware of his appearance than ever.

“Don’t speak, I don’t want to get into too much of what’s going on with you. The fact that you’re alive is enough,”

Her straightforward approach was more than welcome right now.

“You’re a good doctor, Law. Though I’m sure you know that already. It’s what makes the eccentricities you have forgivable even at the expense of others.”

She crossed her arms and legs in front of her as she surveyed the condition Law was in. He wasn’t dead or even severely injured which put her at ease.

“It’s all the more reason your disappearance was shocking. It was very unlike you to go missing or even to not contact anyone at the hospital if you couldn’t be at your job. I spoke with your emergency contact on the phone who also sounded concerned, but it seems as though you came back on your own.”

Knowing Dr. Kureha spoke with Cora was weight in the pit of his stomach. He was probably worried sick. Law considered whether or not he should say something further, but the medical chief continued regardless of his ruminations.

“All of that said, you look like you’ve been to hell and back. Judging from what the police said, I would prefer you find some time to take care of yourself before coming back to work,” She shuffled a hand through her coat pocket, “This is a therapist I personally recommend. Maybe that’s a place to start.”

She handed him the business card which Law took sheepishly. The thought of being away from work was terrifying but even he couldn’t deny that coming back to work was far worse for him.

“The IV drip in your arm was for dehydration. So, you should be okay to go home this afternoon once you finish your course. You’re incredibly lucky you didn’t lose your hands to the frostbite.”

She looked him over once more before standing,

“I’m glad you’re okay. Come back to work when you’re ready.” With that, Dr. Kureha exited the room and left Law to heal.

Law squeezed his hands into fists at the frostbite comment, quietly wondering just how long he’d been outside in the snow.

\----

It felt like ages since he had been back here. Law fumbled with the key, cursing the way that his hands always shook when he was going through withdrawals. He was grateful for the scrubs he left in his locker, the thin fabric offering nothing in the way of cold protection but at least it covered his body.

Walking into the apartment, Law was surprised at the way he was holding himself up to this point. He unconsciously associated his apartment with unrepentant abuse of alcohol and sleep which were two things he desperately craved right now. Fumbling in the darkness, he fought to find the lamp while the rest of him propelled forward to the kitchen so he could pour himself a glass of the calming nectar.

“Fuck,” He cursed to himself as he reached for his supply, the sweat on his hands made grasping the glass bottle even harder and he contemplated the irony even now. Finally getting a good grip, Law pulled it close to survey the contents even as he knew he was just looking for something to self-medicate with.

GIN.

The sight of the label brought those bubbling emotions to the surface. The gears were already ground and stripped of their cogs, the steam building up pressure that was now bursting from his ears.

Bringing the bottle to his lips, all he can think of is poison. Everything he’s doing is absolute poison on his tongue, but he can’t stop, his body hurts too much from being without it and it’s in that weakness that he’s unable to remember what happened to him. What caused such ruin that he’s killed something that he may never receive again, he wondered.

The answer was at the bottom.

_“Law…”_

Cora’s voice was speaking to him even now as he pulled it away without drinking, the grief flowed stronger than even the liquid in the bottle and now it was washing everything away with him. Being this sober was a double-edged sword – he could finally think clearly and be free of the fog that came with the intoxication, yet it meant the sharpness cut through him with ease.

That sadness without the ball and chain of alcohol came fiercely and without mercy. The grip of his fingers around the neck of the bottle loosened as he stood in the dimly lit space, the shattering glass only secondary to the sobs that filled the room. Law was paralyzed by how it shook him to his core. He was trapped by this monster that was robbing him of everything – his memories, his health, _his family._

The waves were inescapable as they tightened around him and choked the air from his lungs. It was exhausting and torturous and he was just so _fucking_ angry. When he dropped to his knees, the glass dug into his skin. The pain was a stark reminder of the misfortune that continued to come without anything to give it resolution.

It almost seemed cruel to wish for death.

“Agh!” He cried at the shards piercing him, the pain quickly replacing itself with anger. The fit of undiluted emotions was overtaking everything now and all he wanted was to be free of it all.

"Fuck!"

Law screamed, the overwhelming emotions eating more at him as he reached above to the other bottles.

"Fuck you!"

He threw one, glass shattering at his feet in a chorus that only spurred him on more as fracturing mirrored his own crumbling strength.

"Shit!"

Another.

"WHY?!"

With each exclamation, he threw a bottle to the ground in furious succession as if cursing the alcohol itself before unraveling into a pile on the floor. Glass was getting into everything it could touch as it cut through his hands, the wetness he felt from the alcohol indistinguishable from the blood that was coming out.

As his hands burned, Law wasn’t sure if he was escaping the pain or trying to drown himself in it. Exhausted, the hot tears were still falling freely as the sobs turned to ashes in his mouth and his chest struggled to vocalize his cries and yet no sound came.

The fog that accompanied his usual drunkenness was now just one of complete weariness. These emotions were gratifying and bittersweet in their release.

Then came a knock at the door.

Law grimaced at the sound of visitors. It was just his luck that he would have someone at his door when he was in this state, the fates choosing when and where to test him at all times. No matter, he would just have to wait until they left.

“Law?”

Or not. Bepo was standing at his door and damn it all if he was the last person he wanted to see right now.

“Dr. Kureha said you were already discharged when I got off of my shift. I thought you’d be home by now so I brought you some coffee, maybe we can talk if you’re feeling up to it.”

The desire to be ugly to him was strong. He never told those residents of his visitors’ rules because they never came around to see him outside of work hours and the occasional night of socializing. But his disappearance was alarming for everyone and Bepo was the only person who saw him the last time he was in desperate need of a drink. It felt suspicious to ice him out again.

His phone was vibrating in his pocket as Bepo was calling him.

Right foot. Left foot.

Opening the door, Law saw Bepo’s expression shift from excitement and relief to panic as he noticed the blood dripping from Law’s hands and feet. The two of them stood in silence before the resident remembered his doctor status and sprung to action.

“Woah, are you okay?”

The senior doctor dropped to his knees, his will to hide gone with his energy to keep up the façade any longer. He was tired of being sick and fighting to contain it.

“Law, let me see your hands,” Bepo announced this rather than asked, taking Law’s hands into his and inspecting them carefully.

“Bepo. Please leave.” The tears he thought had stopped were coming back with a vengeance. Their presence did little to put his friend at ease.

“Not until I fix you up. Look, your hands are your job. The least I can do is make sure you don’t lose them.” He wasn’t taking no for an answer and Law was doing little to stop him. He merely sat in his wounds as Bepo ran past him into the apartment.

Turning on all of the lights, Bepo grumbled at how a doctor could sit in the dark like this until he realized Law spent most of his time on the day shifts and maybe that made it easier to sleep. Rummaging through the piles of toiletries in the restroom, he finally settled on a passable first aid kit and made a mental note to bother Law about getting a new one later.

Right. Walking back to the living space, he thought about how all he had to do was get outside and help, his resolve renewed as the sight in the kitchen stopped him in his tracks.

There were shards of bloody glass strewn about the floor in ways that made him wonder how Law even got out of the room in the first place. The smell of alcohol was permeating the air now as he took it all in with mounting concern. Bepo was connecting the dots in his mind as he went back outside to treat Law who was just numb to the rest of the world, tears mixing with blood and snow on his scrubs.

The two of them sat in front of his apartment in silence, Bepo cleaning and bandaging his hands without any mention of the sight he saw inside and Law accepting the help without complaint. Sitting outside of the scene, Law was increasingly aware of the trepidation over returning to the lonely space.

This emptiness was a jumping point from the sadness that already caused him to break those bottles, it was scary to think what these emotions would bring him to do the more he felt them.

“There! Ah, you had me worried there for a moment.” Bepo sighed, laughing nervously to try and cut through the tension.

For Law, the kind act was overwhelming against the day he had. That small gesture was a rope dangling into the hole he scraped his bloodied fingernails into. One that wouldn’t come again if he let it pull back. In the back of his mind, he wondered if it was pushing his luck to take it as a sign.

“Bepo,” he didn’t turn to meet him, he still had that stupid pride above all else that wanted him to shield his swollen eyes.

“Do you mind if I come stay with you for a bit?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, thus goes the conclusion of this particular act. Now, we move on to hopeful healing. Luffy and Law do meet sometime soon, I assure you. It's just a matter of time.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading, your sweet comments are always so stinking wonderful and I love getting to chat about the story with you. It's very exciting and motivating. Thank you thank you. ( ◜‿◝ )♡


	8. Open

_When was it going to end?_

Law mulled over that thought as he was outside for another restless night.

The way the streetlights pieced together the area below gave way to an artificial pecking order – the things Dressrosa most wanted one to see. Passing through each one that contained its own scene like a play moving through acts: couples on their first dates with cheeks rosy with nervousness or the chill, others standing together closely as they went through the domestic routine of what to have for dinner, and children crying next to parents giving them this and that in an attempt to assuage the discomfort they felt being outside.

Those sights were a reminder that the world continued on with or without him. It was a sobering thought that fit with his current reality.

He squeezed his hands as they sat tight in the coat pocket, trying to will some blood back into the tips of his fingers while he sat in anticipation about how soon it would be before he reached the convenience store. Of all of the times to forget his gloves, it had to be during the coldest night this month. Law glanced up only slightly between these thoughts to dodge whatever passerby wasn’t paying attention to the traffic and to check which street he was on in his journey.

Good, he was only two blocks away. All the more reason to hurry.

Law closed his eyes at the heat building up underneath all of his layers, the cold making it the sensation at the forefront of his mind. The tapering was going more poorly than expected. He knew how violently his body would reject the freefall from his usual intake but the fact that the withdrawals were still intense made him feel like he had lost his footing on the climb out of that hole. There was only one other time in his life he could remember feeling this gnawing pain in his nerves and he dared not repeat it.

Not without –

“Ouch.”

The shifting texture on his tongue drew him to the fact he had chewed his lip raw. There wasn’t any point in thinking about that, not now. Watching the news over the past week had confirmed to him the one thing he hoped would be lost with the rest of his missing memories from that night. It was brought up as a small piece in the evening news one night and only to speak on his relationship with Doflamingo. Somehow, the comparison to his own treatment made him angrier than it should.

Cora deserved more. More than a blurb in the local news and more than a death that someone close to him couldn’t even remember properly. Inside of his pocket, his phone was bouncing against his ever-numbing fingers and he cursed to himself as he saw the beacon of light in the distance.

SMILE MART - 24/7 GROCERY-LOTTERY-ATM-CIGARETTES

A bell sound welcomed him as he opened the door followed by a lazy mumble from the worker behind the counter. Law kept his head down as he walked – The muscle memory already apparent even when he’d only been in this place for a short time. Pausing in front of the beer fridge, he picked up two cans of whatever he deemed to be the largest and would calm him down the fastest.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t be here tomorrow.

Walking towards the counter and placing his items down, he watched the cashier intently to see when he would look up from his phone long enough to check him out. This one was different than the usual girl who helped out – short green hair contrasted tanned, muscular skin and he had a large scar over his left eye all of which seemed to cement his punk attitude. Law wasn’t sure if being rude to this guy would do him any good so the two of them stood together in silence.

“Zorooo,” A voice cooed. Looking to the source, he saw another unfamiliar employee standing with a sweet smile playing on her lips. She twirled her long red hair around her fingers as the man pulled his attention from the screen. That voice clearly not one he wanted to hear this evening.

“Can you come stock these cases of sodas over here?”

“And why can’t you do it?” The green haired man shot sarcastically, tilting his head lazily to emphasize how much he couldn’t be bothered.

She pulled out a set of keys and began twirling them around her fingers, the weight of them making pointed noises as they completed their orbit, “Because you need a ride home, right? Don’t forget you owe me for getting you here in the first place. You’re lucky I’m only asking for twenty percent.”

The abrasive man frowned and grumbled under his breath while Law watched him move away from the cashier’s station. Eyeing the area in front, he noticed the can stuffed into a paper bag next to the register and his eyebrows raised slightly at the conclusions he drew.

“Suppose it’s hard not to,” he mumbled to himself as the redhead stepped behind the counter and scanned his items.

“Hm?”

“Oh, nothing.”

She shrugged and bagged up his items before reading off his total, Law handing her a 500 Beri coin for the 300 Beri purchase. A moment passed before Law realized the cashier put the money away and hadn’t given him his change. He contemplated saying anything before chalking it up to another fight he chose to not pick for his own sake.

“Er, thank you.”

Strange interactions with the Smile Mart employees aside, Law couldn’t wait to get outside. There was a tightness in his eyes, and he knew there were only minutes before he was at his most vulnerable. All he needed to do was get to the park, the haven of silence where nobody bothered him, and he could do something with these emotions that plagued his recovery. Keeping his head down, he tried to shield himself from the cold nipping at his face once again while he walked quickly into the street. Frustration mounted at the way the wind broke into his coordination and made it harder to pay attention to where he was walking.

Which way was it? Left? Right?

Law had little time to consider the rest before a thin tire pummeled him right in his side, the treads catching on his pants as he went flying sideways into the snow. Propping himself up on his hands, there was a brief feeling of anger peeking through the pain while he tried to determine which one best suited his reaction. As if the force knocked something loose in him, Law could feel the telltale warmth on his cheeks as the tears fell in his eyes and he rubbed them away quickly. Of all people, crying in front of strangers was the worst.

“Woah! Sorry, Sorry! Are you okay?”

Ah, just some kid, of course. He was surprisingly sunny and calm for a person who just hit someone with his bike. A gloved hand reached down to pick him up and Law calmly pushed it aside, his other hand pulling at the brim of his hat to hide his face.

“I’m fine.” He huffed, the impact nearly knocked the wind out of his lungs and the crying only made it worse. Law shuffled on the ground as he looked for the items lost in the confusion. His bare hands were making this search difficult and god, he just didn’t need anymore of this stuff piling onto each other. There was a feeling of relief as he followed the sounds of plastic rustling and he set his sights on the cans sitting in the snow.

“Oh, this is yours? Here you go!” The doctor shifted as the bag was placed gently in his lap from the stranger who refused to leave him be.

“Thanks.”

Law picked himself up again, his legs moving solely on the desire to get away from this uncomfortable situation and continue his new nightly ritual. The promise of that quiet moment of release was the only thing numbing the soreness from the collision while he walked quickly in whatever direction seemed reasonable.

In the distance behind him, a small light shone through the snow on the ground.

\-----

Sitting down on the bench, the weight of the somewhat haywire evening fell to the ground with the bag of cans. The rush of running to this area made his chest pound as his breath hadn’t fully caught up with him after that accident.

“That was close.” Law muttered, the sting in his cheeks going strong as the tears wouldn’t stop. He wasn’t sure what made these fits of sadness come at random hours of the night as their presence was an unwelcome guest in his head. Maybe it was years of unprocessed grief that he was playing catch up on, one that refused to hide behind anything he put in front of it and intended on branding him much like the tattoos on his fingers.

It was something that made him a little glad he couldn’t be seen from this angle. He set one of the cans down on the bench and cracked it open with one hand before sliding it into a paper bag sleeve. Taking a drink, his other hand shifted to the coat pockets as he tried to look for his phone. The thought of Bepo texting him crossed his mind. They hadn’t talked properly since he became a guest in the younger doctor’s home

There was a tinge of guilt as he took another gulp, his hand searching more frantically now between his coat and pants pockets before it seized at his side.

“Shit!”

No, he hadn’t dropped it. There was no way. The orange coat Bepo let him borrow was a little big – even for his height, the resident managed to be taller than him – but the oversized fit shouldn’t have caused this much of an issue. Law started to go over his evening while he got down on his knees, hoping the item would have just fallen out underneath the bench and this was something to chalk up to fleeting awareness.

Not here.

He crawled underneath the bench as if it had a brand-new area behind it that he didn’t see from below. There were empty lighters and cigarette butts, but definitely not his phone.

“Damn it!” He hissed through grit teeth. What exactly was it about this night taking every opportunity to get worse?

Law felt the heat sweep through his temples with anger and panic at the realization. Before that night, had he lost his phone in some bar or taxi then he could’ve bought a new one with no problem. But now, that phone was the only thing that held the last words he had from Cora in the text messages he still hadn’t opened. There was a concern that held him back from checking, a lingering fear that whatever was said would be worse than the words he couldn’t remember hearing straight from his loved one’s mouth.

For all he knew, they might’ve fought more before Cora died and it seemed better that he didn’t confirm it. Now he never would, and that thought cut fresh new wounds that brought angry tears on top of the sad ones.

Resigned to this fate, he sat on the ground and drank more from the can in an attempt to drown his sorrows.

“Oi! There you are!”

That voice was far too recognizable to Law for only hearing it once and he tensed mid-drink, a reaction that made him cough violently. The sight of snow-covered spokes came into view as the sound of its handler carried on in the silence. Looking forward, he was now face to face with the machine that threatened to mow him down moments ago. He tried to contain his emotions as he waited to hear what this person had to say.

“Aaahhh, I tried to catch up with you but then I got too hungry, so I had to have a snack first.” The way this stranger spoke was casual and calm, a characteristic that took Law by surprise even more than the fact that he was being sat next to on the ground.

“What do you want?” Law spoke from the lip of the can, the feeling in his hand surprisingly helpful for keeping him focused and putting a leash on his tears while he refused to meet eyes with his stalker.

“Oh, this is yours, right?” There was a faint sound of cloth rustling before a gloved hand pushed the familiar black rectangle into view.

“Wha – Yes! Thank you.”

Law had to apply so much restraint that he wasn’t sure how well he hid his excitement as he snatched the phone and immediately started to open it, checking to see if all of the p’s and q’s were in place before sighing heavily. He wasn’t aware of how much he had clenched his jaw until the tension melted from his face. Bepo had texted him to tell him that there was dinner waiting for him, and he weighed his options of going home right away.

There was silence after their initial conversation, and it made Law contemplate why the other person hadn’t moved yet. No skin off of his nose, it wasn’t as if he could tell him to leave and it wasn’t like he was in a rush to get home. Finishing the first can, he squinted as it dawned on him and he turned his attention back to his side.

“Wait, I’m sorry. How did you know I was here?”

The stranger had pulled out a lunchbox and set it on top of his coat, legs crossed with feet tucked under him, yet Law could still see the sandals poking out from underneath. He frowned, maybe asking such a weird person was the wrong idea.

“Oh,” Law watched the visitor stuff a large chunk of meat into his mouth as he stared at the sky in contemplation or distraction, it was hard to say in the darkness, “I’ve seen you here a bunch when I was on my way home. I live nearby and I thought you were homeless. But, every time I came back to check, you were gone.” He was putting more meat into his mouth as if he couldn’t decide to eat or talk.

The fact that Law wasn’t nearly as sneaky as he thought was like a pin in his side. It was lucky that this kid wasn’t a police officer though being thought of as a sad homeless guy wounded the doctor’s pride slightly. The characterization wasn’t too far off.

Law opened the second can and sipped it slowly,

“I see. I take it you came back to make sure I wouldn’t sue you for running me over, then?” He was being a little snarky with the last comment. He had hoped a jab at this person’s goodwill would be enough to chase the stranger off and protect his peace even more.

The snort that shot out was nothing compared to the spirited laughter that rocked him to his core. Law was startled enough to fumble the can in his hands and he reflexively met with the figure beside him. Even in the dark, the smile peeling across that face shone through and he had a hard time pulling his attention away from it. His daze was broken immediately by the face that was now looking into his own, and he turned back to the snow with his attention back on the drink.

“Oh, man. I don’t have any money,” there was an air around that statement that seemed sarcastic until Law realized they genuinely thought it was a joke, “You’re funny.”

Law kept his eyes forward even though he knew that smile was still pointed at him. Just what was wrong with this guy?

“Huh, so you WERE crying…”

The doctor snapped his head to the side to be met with large, round eyes staring at him intently. It was far too dark for anyone to see his face. It was why he chose to sit by this bench in the only part of the park that wasn’t lit by the streetlights. So how this person had found him out was a shock to the senses and he flailed to hide his embarrassment.

“Hey, can you stop looking at me like that?”

With that, those eyes were back on a new lunchbox as they kept eating and Law was taken back at the quick turnaround. Even a person like that still has manners, who knew.

“Er, I wasn’t crying.” Law said bluntly, mumbling into the can lip.

“Seemed like it in the street. You’re not good at hiding it.” the other person said, biting into a sandwich.

The casual way Law was being torn into barely gave him any time to react.

“Who are you, anyways? Leave me alone.”

“My name's Luffy.” He said, stuffing the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth and continuing to speak, "You should cry if you feel bad but doing it outside in this cold is dumb. Kind of useless to sit around all alone too. It would be better to talk to someone.”

Law wasn’t sure if they were offering up themselves or someone else, but the unwanted advice was the last straw.

“Listen, thanks but can you get the fuck out of here?” He snapped. The source of this anger was lost on him, but he wasn’t going to let someone tell him things that he already knew. He didn’t need this shit, let alone from someone who only saw him hiding out at a park for an hour a night.

Luffy said nothing but continued to work on his lunch, practically ignoring the seething Law next to him who stared at his head as if to will it on fire. Law didn't know what he was aiming at but the departure from how Luffy handled his previous request was only making him more annoyed.

“Hey, I’m talking to you!”

Silence.

That’s it. Law wasn't going to have his evening ruined by this and being next to this person any longer would make his head explode. He stood up so fast that it almost made him fall over from the blood rushing to his head. Whatever, he could still make it home even with a little dizziness. The annoyance overshadowed everything else as he stomped out of the park.

_Where does he get off trying to preach anything?_

A few minutes of walking passed as across the street, the lights of Smile Mart registering little as he grumbled to himself.

_Fucking kid, that’s not how you talk to someone you just met._

He opened the door to the apartment, taking his hat and jacket off and hanging them up on the coat rack by the door.

_There’s nothing wrong with being alone sometimes._

“Oh hey, Law, you’re home.”

Law paused as he realized Bepo was speaking. In his fit of anger, he hadn’t even noticed he walked all of the way home while mentally having an argument with no one.

Law darted his eyes around the apartment before more frustration set in and he turned on his heels. Grabbing the front doorknob, he paused as it hit him how ridiculous it would be to run back out this late. Besides, what was he to say that would convince someone who just clearly riled him up so he would go home?

“Damn.” He muttered. Now he was more annoyed.

“Is everything okay?”

Bepo stood up, his expression confused as he watched the display from the couch, unsure if he should step in to help his friend fight whatever urge threatening to drag him back out.

“Um. No, No, it’s okay.” Law waved a hand backwards, his other pinching the space between his eyebrows.

“Well, I already ate dinner. I’m sorry about that, but there’s still something for you to heat up on the counter.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

Moving to the kitchen, he unwrapped the bowl of stir-fried noodles and placed them into the microwave. In the corner of his eye, he could see his blonde-haired friend watching the TV happily and the words said back at the park came to mind. It wasn’t as if he was avoiding having any conversations with Bepo. Between them working and his grief, there wasn’t any good time to talk.

Or at least that’s what he thought on his way to that bench every night to cry and fight the shakes by himself.

The beeping from the microwave broke his shame spiral for a moment and he took the food with him to the living room, sitting next to the table across from the taller doctor in a makeshift family dinner moment as they both stared at the screen. Law ate quietly as he tried to find the words to say.

“Uh, Bepo. Thank you for letting me stay here. I’m sorry we haven’t really talked much.”

The look on the other mans face was more elated than he was expecting.

“Oh, that’s okay. I’m glad you asked me about staying over, I was worried about you when you came out of your apartment covered in blood that day,” He took a sip from the hot tea in front of him and sighed calmly, “You looked really sad and that was a shock considering how calm you are at work.”

Law bit his cheek. Of course, drinking all day would make anyone calm.

“Yeah, about that. I wasn’t –”

Bepo continued, looking at the TV while speaking, “But, you came out here to eat dinner tonight. I thought you would go back to the guest room to eat like you did before,” His attention was back on Law now who was shifting his gaze between the noodles and his friend nervously,

“It’s pretty nice to eat with friends. It means you don’t have to talk about everything.”

Law slurped more noodles while the TV show played in the background, the things Bepo said feeling reminiscent of the conversation he had with Dr. Kureha a few weeks ago. It was strange to be so relieved at not explaining himself even when that was all he avoided doing before.

Picking at the food with his fork, he looked back at the TV.

“So, what’s this show about?”

\-----

The sounds of the shower were a comfortable white noise that Law was grateful for. He had neglected taking one for days as he unconsciously avoided having more empty space to think in and the withdrawals sapped the rest of his energy he saved for tapering. But, after getting in, the warmth thawing his hands was too good to let go.

He stood under the showerhead and let the stream fall into his hair, the weight of his own neglect becoming more apparent in the way grime stuck to his face and neck. Law placed his palms on the wall in front of him as he soaked in the heat and let his mind wander in that steam.

The person he met tonight was strange. He wasn’t sure how to react to the fact that someone watched him sit in that park for days and only approached him tonight, let alone talking to him so rudely that he ran away. Reaching for the shampoo, he poured a small amount into his palms and began scrubbing his scalp while lost in thought.

Between having the conversation with Dr. Kureha and Bepo, it was clearer than ever that maybe finding a neutral party to talk to wouldn’t be the worst idea. Dumping all of his problems onto his friends seemed like a place he wouldn’t be able to get to, not with his choice of bearing it alone pointed out to him by a stranger who read him like a book.

Well. He wasn’t a stranger, really. He told Law his name but the thought of it only made him more annoyed and he decided to rinse the shampoo before he got soap in his eyes. Running his fingers across his scalp, he sighed contently. Law couldn't deny that the conversation had been a far better distraction for him than anything he tried to do lately but having someone that perceptive close by was a scary thought.

Hopefully he wouldn't see Luffy again for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL okay so true story, I had a much different idea of how their meeting would go but after I started writing I realized how much nicer it was to have them meet this way and it was a chance to write something light for Law who has been perpetually a sadboi all day. Also contrary to the ending of this chapter, they aren't separated for long pls don't kill me. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read and commented and chatted and AH you're all so lovely. I am having so much fun writing this haha. ( ；∀；)


	9. Reset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! So, quick thing: I realize I use a bit of time skipping here in a way that might be confusing if you don’t already know where I meant to start. Basically, I started this fic on Oct 26th so in my mind, this has been going on since that day. So all of the things between Doflamingo, Law, and Corazon have happened almost 3 weeks ago and this meeting is happening on what would be our time like mid-November. LOL, even I had to go back and count my bad y’all, I hope this helps.
> 
> EDIT: "Cora-san" is just "Cora" now and I'll change that in previous chapters. The more I wrote it, the more I just prefer Cora. Sorry for any confusion. 
> 
> also holy cannoli 1500 hits, thank you so much.

The ambiance of the room played nicely in a blend of clinical and approachable. On the wall hung a large painting of a sunset landscape, hues of purple and orange over the horizon attempting to project calm against the white paint. Sitting in one of several tan armchairs strewn about the small office, Law split his attention between the sets of pamphlets sitting on the wall with topics ranging from bipolar disorder to sexual orientation education and the clipboard in his lap.

He sighed. There was a tinge of exasperation at the idea of any problem being consolidated into three easy to read folds. Looking out of the window, Law listened absentmindedly to the talk show on the TV across from him while ignoring the fact that it sat by the door leading to the psychologist’s office.

A coffee cup in his left hand was the only source of warmth tickling his fingers and it prodded him to drink the liquid with each pass of lukewarm air from the vent by his foot, his right tapping a pen on the clipboard.

ROBIN NICO, PSY.D  
CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

 **Last name:** Trafalgar **First Name:** Law

Law skimmed over the information sheet while drinking from the cup in earnest now, the warmth of coffee and whiskey working on the tight feeling in his chest he got when he came into the office. Therapy was something he had never bothered to consider when things went wrong in his life. Coming from a family of medical doctors, their training in the sort of science that didn’t have much of a personal approach meant he was always looking at everything he had with a black and white view for a solution.

Perhaps it’s why therapist offices always struck the wrong chord with the young doctor.

The abundance of comfort in the space was marred by the knowledge that behind those walls sat people ready to tell you how much of these problems were only natural but still needed professional intervention.

_Human but still sick._

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and fished the electronic quickly, swiping down to his notifications and removing the “Friday – therapy appointment: 9 am” bar on screen. Law wanted to believe that he wouldn’t need pushy things like this but the fact that he had a spiked drink this early spoke to his reluctance to continue.

“Trafalgar?”

Finishing one last sip, Law picked himself up from the corduroy and made his way towards the door. He kept his eyes on the laminated hardwood as the alcohol worked its way into his bloodstream. There was a moment of pause when he passed the clipboard back to the secretary behind the desk and then took the four steps towards the opening of the office.

God, this was nerve wracking.

“Why don’t you take a seat?”

As Law sat down on the sofa, his gaze immediately went to the tall walnut bookshelf behind the tan armchair that sat his therapist. From the bottom up, the overall theme wasn’t anything cohesive. Various trinkets like newtons cradles and quill pens sat between books that filled the rest of the space – the topics varying from psychology to interesting archaeological facts.

Sparse of anything distracting as if willing the patient to pay attention instead.

Law tapped his fingers on the coffee cup as he held it with both hands now, the rhythm uncoordinated and fast in its pace. The two of them sat in silence for a moment and the ticking of the clock on the wall echoed in his ears as he tried to drown it with his drumming.

“Hello, Law. I’m Dr. Robin Nico, you can call me Dr. Nico or Robin, whichever makes you the most comfortable. I know therapy can be a little overwhelming and I’m glad you decided to take the first step in coming in here today. There are just a few things I need to review with you before we begin -”

He didn’t mean to, but Law was barely listening to the words from the woman across from him as he waited for his nerves to settle.

“Do you have any questions about his so far?”

Law shifted to look the woman ahead. Long black hair was slicked down as to not obstruct the blue eyes looking back. She dressed casually with a white button up blouse and navy slacks as she sat with her arms in front of her, a choice that was likely emphasized by the need to be comfortable for his sake. The thought crossed his mind of how they were both doctors, yet she was the one to dissect him.

There was no way to escape those eyes on him and goodness, was it uncomfortable.

“Um, no. I’ll go with Robin if that’s alright.”

“Great,” Robin leaned back in her seat, pen in hand while she watched Law shuffle quietly on the sofa, “Then let’s get started. What brings you in today?”

\-----

“… and when I woke up in the hospital, I learned that Cora was dead. I was really drunk at the time and was found passed out outside, my memory of the whole thing is just fuzzy aside from seeing him get shot. The fact that I don’t even know what I was doing eats at me. It shouldn’t have been this way.”

Law sighed, the weight of carrying this secret was a greater relief than he could have imagined. He didn’t think he had it in him to talk this much let alone about the stuff that usually sat in the corner of his mind, far away from where it could actually hurt him. Glancing at Robin, he watched her writing notes and quietly wondered what she could be saying about him.

“The death of your friend has had quite an impact on how you view yourself and your drinking. It’s hard to navigate the loss of someone who was closer to you than many of the other people in your life both in support and knowing about your alcohol use.”

Law held onto the bottle of water that Robin had given him during their session when she saw him fidgeting with the coffee cup sleeve. It was less interesting than the cardboard, but he appreciated having something to fight the dryness in his mouth.

“It wasn’t the best.”

The psychologist nodded with a look of understanding. It was the kind that made Law’s face warm from how vulnerable he felt despite the fact that these thoughts weren’t new. He was just vocalizing them for once.

“So, how have things been since that incident?”

“Well,” Law paused as he picked at the water bottle label then took a sip as he became more aware of the silence between them, “It’s been difficult. I still drink every day. I don’t think I can stop, it’s just too hard.”

“I see. Elaborate a bit on that, what do you mean by it being hard?”

“I – er – well, I don’t really see it being something that I would give up right away. It’s been in my life for half of a decade and every time I quit, I can’t bring myself to deal with the things it does to my body.”

“The body aches, sweating…”

“Withdrawals, yeah. I’ve tried quitting but they’re too much for me. Drinking is already hard enough without it almost killing me every time I give it up completely.”

There was a heartbeat in his temples as Law tried to commit to this half-truth. During his tapering, he had found that the physical symptoms were something that came and went once he drank enough. But the nightmares taking over his evenings meant he couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to and he couldn’t take it anymore. Two shots before bedtime meant he could sleep and a drink before grocery shopping or going out was preferable to being sober.

Besides, it was less than he usually had before Cora’s death. Just something to help him concentrate.

“I get the sense that you’re afraid of what things will be like for you once you quit drinking because it’s painful, physically or otherwise.”

Law was looking at the bookshelf again while thinking of how succinctly she had put the things it took him years to put into words. There was silence between them again and he could feel how different it was when it contained such heavy awareness.

“You’d be right. I’m not a big fan of pain. I never have been, it was a consequence that spoiled me growing up as someone who had it easy in life. I got to to push aside the things I didn’t want to do if it meant they were unpleasant, and as long as I did what was expected of me then who cares?”

He was keenly aware of how little they were making eye contact.

“So, because of that, I got to be a doctor with an addiction so I can keep up the appearance of the remaining Trafalgar who didn’t break under the stress. Ironically, alcohol has been a best friend of mine because only it knows what I was going through.”

Law’s bias towards therapy as a whole was cropping up as he spoke, the unnecessary resistance dripping from every word. It wasn’t unnatural for him to want to escape given who he was.

“You went through a traumatic experience and had to cope with alcohol to get through it. That must have been difficult to process anything that’s happened without being able to tell someone about your feelings.” Robin replied, eyebrows furrowed slightly as she maintained that understanding expression and it made the malice sink in his throat.

Law’s stomach dropped at the thought. Of course, he was thrown to the wolves after watching his sister get filled with bullets and all anyone cared about was if there would still be a Dr. Trafalgar at the end of it. It was from his coping with alcohol and others that he found the most toxic relationship he’d ever been in and still lost someone else he loved through that same mechanism.

He would be lying if he said that he wished he hadn’t spent so much time trying to hide and numb himself to these things. Law leaned forward and moved a hand to his mouth as he swallowed hard at the inevitable connections his mind made.

“It was difficult. Nobody really knew how I felt and that just motivated me to seek out something that would help me get through it without just quitting everything I worked for. Now, it’s been so long that I don’t really know what trying to heal from the loss without having to do it all over again. I wish I knew how to stop drinking because it’s taken a lot from me.”

There was a crack in his voice as he confronted that reality out loud. There was a warm wetness on his hand as Law reached the breaking point of this. In his peripheral, he could see the tissue box being pushed towards him as Robin eyed him sympathetically.

“That’s not an uncommon fear for anyone who’s depended on a substance for as long as you have to worry what happens after they stop. It’s commendable that you even decided to come get help in the first place.” She was back to smiling now, a change that put Law at ease considering how awful he was feeling. Grabbing a tissue, he was grateful for the additional moment he got to process.

“I’d like to take a moment to make sure I understand how things are going and what we can do to approach it further. It seems as though alcohol and other substance use was the thing helping you to get through it without tarnishing an image of yourself that others built of you, one you feel your colleagues and friends have of you. Because of that, it might be scary to see who you are without alcohol and the one person who might know about that is gone now. You feel isolated because everyone knows one you while no one knows the other. All of this contributes to a desire for support. Is there anything I’ve missed?”

“No, that’s right.” Law muttered. It was a little scary how cathartic it felt to be heard.

“Well, I’m glad we are on the same page. So, I’d like to ask you, just to gauge how you’re feeling. What do you see for yourself if you were to stop drinking?”

“I’d be able to sleep for once.” Law grimaced. He’d answered that too quickly.

“That’s a start. What else?”

“…I could talk to someone about my parents and my sister, maybe even just something as simple as a nice memory without feeling guilty for not mourning them properly. Sober, of course.” He took another sip from the water bottle while his mind scrambled to think of what he hid behind the recurring dream of lying in his own blood.

“So, your current goals are to be able to reflect properly on your family without the anxiety and guilt that generally comes with their memories? Perhaps even learning to cope with those thoughts?”

“That’s – er – that’s the gist, yeah.”

“I see, I can tell it’s important to not lose those memories of everyone you love even if they’re painful. You would like to be able to just do these things without the help of alcohol. So, looking at these goals, what do you think you could do to get there?”

“All I currently do is drink alone, it’s hard to think of what else I could be doing.” Law spoke, the lost feeling masquerading as sarcasm in his statement.

“I appreciate the honesty. It seems as though there is a lot of emphasis on the alone part of your drinking. What would someone who you could talk to look like?”

Before Law could answer, the sound of violins cut into the space and reminded him of how even spilling his feelings had a time limit. Robin picked up the small clock next to her chair and pressed a button with a small click before turning her attention back to the other doctor who seemed grateful for the interruption.

“Oh, that seems to be my alarm. It looks like we have talked about a lot today and still have a lot more to discuss but we may have to stop here. Do you have any questions for me?”

“Erm…No.”

“We’ve gotten quite a bit done today. I’m sorry things have ended so abruptly as I’m sure you have more you would like to talk about. Even so, we have made great progress in exploring your relationship to alcohol and how you might feel ambivalent about your feelings of how to approach your continued use. Does that sound like something you agree with?”

“Um. That’s sounds about right.”

“Very good. Law, I believe we could discuss further exactly how to approach some coping mechanisms that aren’t alcohol-based and find a way to navigate those unpleasant feelings that are contributing to your current use. If possible, next time we can go over what seems to be best for you in terms of what current behaviors you would like to focus on. I would like you to consider and write down what’s most important to you and bring it with you if you’d like to continue our sessions. Also, I would like to give you something.”

There was a small pamphlet in front of him now, the design generic with black text on a white background that read “Self-help groups” in large font. Law’s distaste for the trifolds came back to him even now.

“This may not be the right thing for you, but some people I’ve seen have good luck with attending support groups in their local communities. It may be helpful for some of the ambivalence that you are feeling.”

Law eyed the paper cautiously before accepting it. The nudge of options was appreciated even if he didn’t show it.

“Thank you.”

Exiting the office, the exchange of goodbyes left him feeling empty even if he got to unload more in that fifty minute session than he had in his twenty-six years. Walking down the stairs of the office building, Law pulled out his phone to check the time. 10 am. Sachi, Penguin, and Bepo would come with the moving truck in an hour, so he had to hurry.

Folding up the paper into his pocket, he contemplated getting another coffee.

\-----

“Aaaaah. This is box is heavy.”

The snow only amplified the sounds of footsteps dragging as they walked.

“At least we’re moving it into a first floor apartment, so no stairs.”

“Oh, you’re right. Also, easier drunk access.”

Hearing the conversations behind him, the senior doctor contemplated why he had asked these guys to help him move.

“Bepo, could you get the door?”

Watching the blonde run ahead, Law felt a tinge of sadness at the thought that they wouldn’t be room mates any longer. Still, it was only meant to be temporary. As the four of them walked through, the sounds of heavy cardboard against wood echoed in various parts of the new space as boxes were placed on the ground. The men all sighed in unison as they prepared to go lift the last of the things from the moving truck.

Law started back towards the door before he realized there was no one else following him.

“So…”

The awkward silence permeated the room between shuffles and throat clearing. Law knew there were all eyes on him as the other three telepathically played rock-paper-scissors to see who would tackle the elephant in the room.

“Um.”

Penguin lost.

“Law, we’re really glad you’re going to be living closer to the hospital. We all live in this neighborhood, so, it’s cool that you finally decided to join us. We don’t mind helping you move or anything. But…” he trailed off, the other two egging him on with wide eyes,

“Why did you decide to move now? I remember you complaining about having plumbing issues in your old space right after you renewed it two months ago.”

“It’s not like you were going to cause me any problems.” Bepo interjected, glad that he could finally get it off of his chest.

Law thought carefully about his answer. The reason he was moving was a lot less rooted in causing Bepo problems at a lot more about how it dawned on him that he was responsible for the death of a crime lord’s only brother. The last thing he needed was someone else he cared about getting hurt or worse because of him. If they were going to hunt him down for that, the least he could do was move.

But he couldn’t tell them that. It sounded way too absurd.

“Yeah. I had a bit of a falling out with an ex and I was worried that would be a dangerous situation.” He paused at the finality of that statement and scrambled to correct it.

“They’re not too bad. They can just be,”

Law struggled to find the words. Manipulative? Overbearing? Violent?

“Scary sometimes. So, I couldn’t stay in that apartment anyways. It was for the best.”

While he expected sounds of shock and awe, the degree of excitement bouncing around the empty room propelled him into immediate regret.

“WHAT.”

“WAIT.”

“You didn’t even tell me about that!”

The residents started speaking over each other at once with the enthusiasm of high schoolers finding out their teacher was married. Each time the senior doctor attempted to speak up, there was a new amount of shouting that put him back down.

“Guys! I didn’t think it was that important, I’ve never talked about it with any of you. Jeez, it was a relationship that ended years ago. They just contacted me recently and I thought it would get worse.” Law sat down on the couch as he rubbed the back of his neck with exasperation.

The other three exchanged glances before returning to the now annoyed doctor.

“But man, someone who can even get the surgeon of death scared enough to move has to be really terrifying.” The redhead said, hand on his chin as if deep in thought. Penguin and Bepo had mirrored Sachi’s stance as they tried to consider what type of person wanted to date such a guy.

Law narrowed his eyes as they hemmed and hawed. This was the last straw.

“All right, that’s it. Come on.” He grumbled, his hands out in front while sweeping them forward as he gestured for them to leave. Law reached his limit for today and the lack of anything in his system was wearing his patience thin.

“But you said you would buy us lunch!" Penguin whined even as he was halfway out of the doorframe.

“Just call me, I’m coming back to work after I finish moving. If anything, you still owe me for the coffee and the 24/7 guidance.”

Pressing the third body outside, Law closed the door with his body weight before sliding his back down on the wood. Surveying the new space, it felt different than his old apartment. The layout was primarily the same, bedroom to the left and kitchen on the right from the front door yet there were more windows in the living room that only highlighted the expanse of it all. He tried to put together where some of his old things would fit into this new space, the light making the walls seem even more bare as he took it in. Of everything else, Law was relieved at the lack of memories in this new place.

“Might need to buy some curtains,” He muttered.

The fact that he was living alone again seemed like a step backwards, but the therapy session this morning eased his apprehension a little. Pulling out the pamphlet from his pocket, he thought back to the question that Robin asked him before their time was up and weighed it against the new decision to make.

_What would they look like?_

He wanted to know the answer to that too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter update. I took some time off for holiday stuff and also, I was very devoted to making sure Law got a good first therapy session. ಥ‿ಥ I promise this won't be a regular thing. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Apologies that this was SUCH a dialogue heavy chapter but I needed Law to feel good about talking about his feelings darn it. Thanks for any kudos, comments, hits, anything you guys do for this story. It's so nice and I always appreciate it. ♡


	10. Deja Vu

Tedious was one word to describe it. Law was lying on the couch, one foot hanging over the edge with a hand that followed on the same side while his phone made further work on the matter at hand. On the screen sat a series of titles stacked one upon another:

MODERATION MOTIVATION

ABSTINENCE ANGELS

From looking at the webpage, stock photos didn’t tell the full story – a design choice that only reminded its viewer of the subject matter at hand. The tattooed thumb swiped up lazily on the glass as the pictures went by in a cascade of colors blurring the various titles and locations underneath. Taking a sip from a miniature bottle of apple flavored vodka, Law continued to peruse the site and found one thought stuck out above the rest.

 _This was such an involved task._ Clicking through to another page of resources, He took another nip in an attempt to stave off frustration from the sheer offerings available.

“What does someone need to motivate them to stop?” He grumbled before pausing at the hypocrisy in his words. Looking forward to the coffee table, his gaze went to the other empty bottles that flanked a sheet of paper on which he started to write his therapy goals and gave up on just as quickly. Law had spent days trying to think of things he wanted to work on – it wasn’t that he didn’t have any, there were far too many in his eyes and being faced with that reality meant taking a drinking break every time he sat down.

Who was he to judge what helped when he barely knew where to start?

Law was aware of where this thought process was stemming from – the desire to share in the misery of addiction with someone both excited and scared him. It was a hopeful fear that threw its vines onto other things he felt apprehension at like the continued reach of therapy into his life or opening up to anyone that he cared about. The thought of pulling off the mask for so long that it felt impossible to think of what was behind it was.

He glanced down at the third bottle now empty in his hands. The usual calm that came with several drinks had evolved into questions and ruminations that echoed with each dive to the bottom. How many days before he’s “normal” again? What does that normal look like for him? How long before he’s back here again, a week like before? It would be nice to have a timeline for his healing so there would be something to look forward once that curtain was pulled back.

Law shook his head. Too much to think about. For now, he just needed to find a place to start.

SOBRIETY SUPPORT

As the thought crossed his mind, his thumb settled on a photo of a small community center that sat near the hospital. It was an older building that couldn’t even hide its age in current photos as weeds and time ate through the brown brick on the outside. Law had seen it a few times as he moved his things to the newer apartment, the walk he guessed around 10 minutes from the hospital though in the opposite direction of his place. Twenty or so minutes of walking everyday would be something to replace an hour of drinking every night.

Okay. Not too bad. The meetings were on Wednesday nights, nothing he couldn’t swing whenever he decided to return to work if his morning schedule stayed with him. He checked the calendar on his phone to see how much he would have to prepare, the current day of the week escaping him as he lost track of time in his leave.

Tuesday. He would have to go tomorrow.

Law picked himself up, leaning over to place the bottle by its predecessors and eyeing the sheet of paper with mixed enthusiasm. If heading to this group only broadened his spectrum of issues, then it was something to try after he got farther in his treatment. On the other hand, maybe something would be narrowed down enough to make some progress. The risk of not going seemed to outweigh the benefits as much as he hated to admit.

So. Tomorrow he would go to a support group. For his addiction to alcohol.

The idea repeated itself until it sounded foreign and then it continued past that. There was anxiety peeling away at the other concerns he had up to this point until he had to stop himself from separating it into oblivion. Standing up and making his way to the kitchen, Law resolved to make dinner instead of thinking of it any further or else he would talk himself out of it again.

Opening the fridge, he scanned the few things he had bought since settling in. Eggs, vegetables, and he had some leftover rice from takeout last night. Law thought of the simple dinner to be made and it reminded him of his early college days of making food in his apartment before hours of studying next to a coffeepot. The desire for his past life crept on him slowly as he pulled the ingredients out and laid them on the counter, rummaging through his pantry to find a cutting board and getting to work.

This was simple enough. Chopping up a carrot, he focused on the rhythmic chopping sounds while schedule for the week stayed on the forefront of his mind and his hands trembled against the knife handle. The reminder of how simple things used to be was amusing despite the overarching emotions that came and he wiped another unwanted tear before continuing with dinner prep. It was nice to think of the things he did have control over even at the expense of missing what he couldn’t.

So many things to mourn, he thought.

\-----

Walking through the hallways of the building, Law was comforted by how plain everything looked. The speckled black and white laminate tile blended seamlessly into the eggshell walls and all of it made the wooden doors stand out even less against the display. Each room only held a number next to it, no windows in the entrance was encouraging for someone who was hoping for anonymity in his search for the group meeting.

104.

105.

The doctor paused a moment as he pulled out his phone and checked the webpage again. Room 107 – he was on the right track. As he approached the door, Law crossed into the restroom across the hallway instead to stare in the mirror and check out his “disguise” for meeting attendance. Looking at his outfit, he traded Bepo’s orange coat for a black one and didn’t wear his spotted hat when he thought back vaguely to the encounter he had in the park and realizing he probably stood out due to that keepsake.

This was good. It was unlikely anyone from around here would recognize him. Exiting the bathroom, the desire to contain his image even now felt silly given how he would have to introduce himself eventually. Grabbing the handle, he took a deep breath and tried to relax at the eventual eyes on him once he came in.

As he opened the door, the warm air tickled at his cheeks while he entered the space. Looking around, the room was spacious yet intimate in the design. In the middle of the room sat a circle of grey chairs for around fifteen to twenty people, some already occupied as people strapped in for what may have been their first or tenth meeting. Outside of the windows across from him, the sunset was peeking through the blinds even as the clock above ticked past six in a reminder of winters short days. Law stood at the door for a moment before someone else pressed behind him, a push to get to a seat before more attendees staggered in.

Making his way to the condiments table on the adjacent wall, Law picked up a disposable coffee cup and filled it from the available carafe. Next to it sat a small assortment of snacks – cookies and peanut butter crackers that he briefly entertained grabbing before he thought of cooking dinner at home and went to take a seat by the window. The room was on the first floor which meant watching the people outside was a pastime he could take at least for this first meeting.

It also meant he could leave quickly if it turned out things were too much. Hopefully, it didn’t come to that.

Law felt awkward as he tried to understand the etiquette behind coming to the meetings and talking to the others. Around him sat people he anticipated seeing – a tall man with fiery red hair and muscular build, his somewhat dismal attitude a far cry from how positively gruff he looked otherwise. Next to him was a pink haired woman who was helping herself far too much to the snacks available. While more attendees poured in, he chose to return to the window and soak in the hot beverage in his hands.

Behind him, Law could hear the room settle down at the entrance of the group facilitator plus a few other late entrances. A low groan came from the person next to him and he looked over at the once empty chair that now sat a familiar green head of hair and scar already sound asleep.

The cashier from Smile Mart. Well, the can next to the register made a bit more sense now.

“Hello everyone, I see we have a few new faces here. How great! Well, for those of you who are new here, my name is Gwyn.” The woman began, her smile bright even in the face of the likely depressing stories that were to come.

“I see so many of you have come back too, it means you’re finding some help in this group and I’m happy that we could help you in your desire to live a life of sobriety. Now, for those of you that I haven’t seen before, would you mind introducing yourselves to the rest of the group just so we can put a name to the face? No need to share anything else if you aren’t ready.”

One by one, the circle went clockwise as three others stood up to give their names and a bit if information about themselves. The redhaired man and the woman next to him said nothing which told Law they had been here before. He didn’t bother entertaining who the cashier was as the deep sleep would mean he probably wouldn’t answer anyways. As his mind wandered, Law wasn’t aware of the attention on him until he heard the voice of the facilitator snap him out of it.

“Sir! Excuse me, what’s your name?”

“Oh, Right.” He gave a weak wave to everyone else in the circle and tapped his foot against the gray carpet. “Hello, I’m Law. Uh. Nice to meet you.”

There was a moment of silence before the rest of the group took his greeting for what it was and decided to move on. Gwyn clapped her hands as she gestured to the collective group to move forward.

“Well then, thank you everyone. Is there anyone who wants to start us off?”

\----

Working on his second cup of coffee, Law was surprised at how well things were going as he listened to the exchanges between members. It was a bit encouraging to hear the stories of managing sobriety even between the current struggles of maintaining it all. He found a minor comfort in the fact that others were just as prone to falling back into their old drinking patterns as they fought to fill days with something other than alcohol.

“Thank you for sharing, Noelle. Is there anyone else who would like to go?”

The redhaired man had sat quietly while the others talked, his face pointed at the ground while one hand rubbed the back of his neck as if trying to massage the stress of his woes away. Raising his other hand, he sighed and with it came a low grumble that signaled his frustration.

“Um. Hey everyone, I’m Kid for those who don’t know. Just going to get my name out of the way in case any of you have a problem with me later,” He sat up with a nervous laugh as his eyes scanned the room before webbing his hands together and threading painted fingernails one above the other.

“I’ve been…well, uh, bit of a stressful work-week. I got into it with my boss over some mistakes made with fixing up some lady’s car. She didn’t like how much the repairs were going to cost and I apparently needed to figure out a better way to cut the costs which, I mean, I’m a mechanic! I’m supposed to fix things the best way, not the cheap way –” He paused, the anger from the argument clearly not past him yet and he groaned loudly before continuing.

“Well, anyways, it really pissed me off. I was already having a hard time with some of the other responsibilities I had at work and I just – I thought I deserved a beer to relax. I haven’t had a drink in a month, and I was feeling pretty good about it. So, I went to my usual spot and well, one drink turned into five. Which turned into a three-day bender.”

Law listened to the conversation between more sips of coffee. The rest of the group watched intently and he quietly empathized as he thought of his own escalating episodes.

“And anyways. My best friend called me about a mutual friend of ours – his funeral was Sunday, and I was already half a bottle of vodka in so I couldn’t go. He was really pissed at me and we argued about it until I got so mad that I just – I showed up anyways! Cause that’s what he wanted me to do! But, fuck, I was so drunk that I just started being a real asshole and –”

Once the story diverged into drinking and funerals, Law had completely tuned out due to how much it reminded him of his own past behavior. While he expected stories and tales of woe from a group centered around alcohol addiction, he was completely blind-sighted by how specific that story was to his own. It was the reason his own extended family wouldn’t even talk to him anymore and even he couldn’t see forgiveness for his actions.

Fuck.

While Kid kept speaking, Law quietly excused himself and walked back into the hallway as his hands threatened to grip the coffee cup so much that it would break. Finding the nearest bench, he sat down and buried his head into his palms. There was a hope the memory would fade away enough to keep him from having yet another place for horrible associations.

Sitting behind the darkness, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and thought back to the long avoided texts that, at this point, were now only more anxiety inducing the longer he waited to see them. Still, he refused to delete them. Maybe he was a glutton for punishment and coming to this group was enough for him to feed off of for the next few weeks.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Law was so engrossed in his own problems that he didn’t even notice the person who already occupied the bench. Whatever, he was having a shitty moment and hopefully they would realize it enough to leave him be while he attempted to scrub his brain from the outside.

“Um, yeah. I’m fine. Sorry, I’ll move in a minute.”

There was silence from his side and Law dragged a hand through his hair as he leaned backwards, assuming the other person would return to being uninterested in a stranger having a freak out on a bench. Looking up at the seam between the wall and ceiling, he was not oblivious to the attention on him as he was trying to catch his breath. Glancing over to meet their gaze, he watched them quickly divert their eyes to the floor.

Subtle.

“What?” He asked, turning fully to the other bench tenant. It was a young guy, his mess of black hair not even long enough to obscure the large eyes that poked beneath the bangs. There was straw hat that seemed strange for the season against the red and white coat draped over his body and Law thought back to the equally invasive and unseasonably dressed character he’d met before.

He must be a magnet for these strange types.

“Well, you just looked…not okay. You had a weird look on your face before you sat down.” Was all they said back, staring back at him with unbridled curiosity.

Well, Law couldn’t exactly argue with that. It’s not everyday that someone comes running out of a room looking like they’re about to faint. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder why this person was here. In a show of too much preparation, he had looked on the center’s calendar and found they only held these meetings on Wednesday in an attempt to make others more comfortable when they attended.

The doctor shifted his attention up and down before he spotted a blue coin sitting next to the zipper of the coat, the number six was circled around the words “one day at a time” and “recovery” underneath.

Oh. He was here for the meetings then? Law couldn’t help as but wonder if he was just as bad at telling ages as he used to be.

“Aren’t you a little young to be hanging out here?” he asked in a veiled attempt to confirm his suspicions.

“Nope! I’m nineteen. I think that’s old enough to hang out in a building.” the teen replied with a grin before looking up to the ceiling in deep thought as if considering what laws on the books he could be breaking.

Law squinted as he processed the literal response. He was right, not old enough to drink at all. While the idea of an underage alcoholic wasn’t the strangest thing, judging from the attitude of his bench mate, Law didn’t think it was possible for any demons to be hanging out in there – or anything else for that matter.

Still, addicts have come in stranger forms. Deciding to spare a moment before leaving, they sat in silence as Law opted to finish his now lukewarm coffee and mull over the current contents of his fridge.

“So, what’s your name?”

Those eyes were back on him and Law felt an overwhelming sense of déjà vu.

As much as he loved the idea of making friends from outside of a sobriety group, Law thought about if his assumption was the correct one. If he was wrong, the idea of giving his first name seemed like a bad idea if he were to ask anyone else who did see him here. Given the previous conversations with his bench mate, he weighed the likelihood that they would recognize his last name before deciding on his answer.

“It’s Tra –”

At once, the doors to the meeting room opened as the group all dispersed at once. The comingling conversations echoed through the hallway. Law looked back at the source of the noise and the realization dawned on him that he’d gotten lost in chatting with this bizarre stranger. At the front of the group came the green haired man who was yawning, arms stretched above him as he held a tight fist in one hand.

“Zoro!” The teen called out to his friend, bubbling at the sight and Law watched with wide-eyed surprise at the energy change from this previously quiet observer.

“Hey, I’m sorry! My friend is here! We can talk later though!”

Bounding over with a grin, he ran off so quickly that it was a wonder this kid could even manage to sit still long enough for a whole meeting. Law watched as the two struggled in the tight hallway space, the shorter one climbing onto his friends arm in an attempt to get the treasure held in the raised palm until it was eventually relinquished. A napkin full of cookies and crackers that were devoured as quickly as they were handed off.

“Ack! Here, Here Luffy! Now, Let’s go. I need a drink.” 

Law blinked as he overheard the exchange and his mouth worked faster than his brain could stop him.

“Luffy?!”

Luffy turned around at his name being called, mouth full of carbs as he looked for the source and Law pivoted to nursing the empty coffee cup in an attempt to hide his complete shock. As the pair walked out the door, Luffy was waving excitedly at his new friend completely oblivious to his infamous recognition.

“It was nice to meet you, Torao! Bye!”

Law gave a small wave behind the coffee cup as he lingered on the bench, feet planted firmly to the ground as the whiplash of this chance meeting made it hard for him to leave right away. Looking at the clock in the hallway, he figured waiting another ten minutes or so would be enough space between him and a person who seemed to catch his worst moments.

\-----

The walk back to his apartment felt incredibly long as he replayed the events of tonight in his head. Law stuffed his hands deeper into the coat pockets and braced against the chill nipping at his cheeks. The odds of running into someone like that again had to be a million to one and yet here they were both going to these groups. It seemed unlikely that Luffy wouldn’t have known what was going on in there, he ran into his friend Zoro who was also attending the meeting.

Well, sleeping through it. But still in the room, nonetheless.

Law thought back to his first encounter with Luffy. Knowing that airhead he just talked to was the same person who indirectly convinced him to go to therapy made him even more confused. Somehow, the variable of “stranger who knows and says too much” was not one he thought needed considering. If his previous evening were any indication, finding a new group wouldn’t be the worst thing if the end goal was support.

He sighed. What a pain in the ass.

Crossing the street, Law looked up at the signs on the corner to make sure he knew his way back to his apartment. The area by the hospital was a quieter area full of restaurants and small shops – things for people grieving or celebrating with everything in between. It was obvious why many of the doctors who worked in the medical district enjoyed being here, and he made a note to try some of the places he hadn’t seen before moving.

Behind him, couples and families walked on the sidewalk as they went about their evenings. Listening idly, he soaked in the view behind the streetlight.

“What do you want for Christmas?”

“Hm…”

“Maybe a new hat?”

“No, I have enough of those.”

A couple standing behind him chatted casually and overhearing this conversation made an uncomfortable realization come through. The holidays were fast approaching, a time he usually spent in a “survival mode” brand of work and alcohol to blur the weeks together and get through. If he were to quit drinking for good, the ability to handle anything that came afterwards would be a nightmare he knew needed tackling first.

Finishing the walk back to his apartment, he fished his phone from his pocket and searched for Dr. Kureha in the small electronic. It was 6 pm, a hit or miss chance she would still be in her office, but she was one who threw herself into work any chance she got.

For all Law knew, that was probably the reason they got along so well.

The ringing on the other end went on for two, three cycles and he had begun to think she wasn’t there until the transition to white noise made his nervousness shoot forward.

“Hello, Dr. Kureha speaking.”

“Um, Hey. Dr. Kureha. It’s Law. I’m sorry for calling you so late, I wanted to discuss my return to work.”

There was silence on the other end followed by a sigh that Law wondered if he was meant to hear.

“I can’t tell you what you should do, Law. But, are you sure you’re ready to come back to work?”

_No._

“Robin is a really good therapist. We had our first session last week and I feel pretty confident. Thank you for the recommendation.”

Law awkwardly fumbled with his apartment keys as he tried to keep the grating noise away from his boss’s ears. There was a skepticism he could detect from the senior doctor and he knew it was warranted.

“Okay then. I think you should at least take the rest of the week off. We’ll see you Monday, does that work for you?”

“That’s fine. Thank you, I’ll see you Monday.”

With that, he hung up the phone and peeled himself from the several layers of thermal wear. Turning on the living room light, he was met with the scene from last night frozen in time on the coffee table. It was encouraging that the sight didn’t immediately make him want to go to bed. Making his way to the coffee table, he sat down on the floor behind the sheet of paper and started writing.

At least he found a place to start.

Baby steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating in the middle of the afternoon instead of at 3 am??? Who do I think I am lmao. Thank you so much for reading everyone, I love love love that anyone is having a good time with this story as much as I am even if it's just clicking through. I want to say that they do meet again as soon as the next chapter, I just have to do this for plawt forgive me. Also, sorry not sorry for the hamfisted interaction to force Law's nickname it was just too good haha.


	11. Waiting

There was a hand passing through his hair.

Such a gentle touch. One that carried warmth across his temples and soothed with each sweeping motion. His bangs moving across his scalp exposed his forehead and with it a cool sensation on his skin beating away the sweat that pooled underneath. It was a calming ritual that reduced the fatigue felt in his body down to none. In the low light of the room, the muted sounds of voices through the TV speakers carried in the space.

Just, where was he?

**_In other news…_ **

Law blinked as his eyes adjusted to the low light, looking up to the dimly lit figure still stroking his head. He felt the stirring in his stomach as he recognized the muss of blonde hair shining against every bit of light that it touched. Even in this darkness, there was no dull in the brown eyes looking back at him and the sight was enough to drag forward an optimism long buried. Something gnawed at Law as he dug his heels into the relief at seeing a familiar face.

“Cora?”

Bright eyes stared back at him wide with shock at his question. The gasp that came afterwards was nervous and excited, a sound that melted away the confusion as he tried with measured futility to think of anything but the nausea pressing in his stomach. Law started to speak as their eyes met but Cora merely smiled at him and turned his attention to the TV.

“What – “

**_The body of 39 year old…_ **

The sounds of the voices coming through the speakers was louder now and yet Law found himself failing to focus on it more. He couldn’t quite make out what was being said, only a firm tone spoken through garbled feedback.

“What’s going on?”

Law lifted his arm to touch the blonde who merely sat still at the contact, hands still working gently on their task of petting with eye contact of least importance. The pit in his stomach dug deeper as his fingers touched Cora’s skin and he felt a wetness between his knuckles that made him pull back sharply.

“Please, talk to me.”

There was no response again and the tightening in his throat intensified as Law tried to grab Cora’s attention. That gnawing grew into a greater pain as the liquid spilled onto his face now, droplets threatening their way into his eyes and blurring his vision as the other man seemed unaffected by the increasing moisture. Looking at his hand, Law could see the opaque liquid seeping under his fingernails.

The fact that Cora was only smiling and watching the TV made his heart leap into his throat. It was a dangerous silence that preyed on his desire to believe in the legitimacy of what he saw.

**_…brother of local bar owner, Doflamingo Donquixote…_ **

“Cora!” Law’s voice was strained and frantic as he was trying to speak through the pouring that was trying to swallow him. He tried to lift his head with little success, a weight sinking into his bones kept his body pinned and soaking in the fluid. H now realized was coming from Cora above, blonde hair sticking together as he bled.

**_Rosinante…_ **

Law’s thoughts clouded as he fought in the hold of his lost friend and the faint taste of iron bit through the frenzy. The sounds from the speakers played softly in the background, a chaotic mix of voices and statif in his ears that melded with the panic.

“CORA!”

The sound of his voice was a shock as his eyes shot open. Law gasped, the air passing through sent a burning sensation across the raw membrane in his throat that clued him to how long he had been struggling. His eyes screwed shut at the warm wetness that passed over his cheeks in the dark room, paralysis that gripped him in that dream still in his limbs like cement. A cold fabric sticking to his neck was heavy with a mixture of sweat and tears and Law grit his teeth as the degree of his crying settled in.

Turning his head to the left, he fumbled around the sheets searching for his phone before laying hands on the glass and illuminating the screen.

4 am.

“Three hours… that’s a new record.” Law mused as he picked himself up onto his forearm, groaning as the pain in his temples intensified at the new position. Still, a headache was the least of his worries given he was supposed to be at work in three hours and this was the second time he had woken up tonight. He considered his previous records with this, the likelihood of staying asleep was dwindling quickly and the least he could do was something productive.

Law reached for the lamp on his nightstand and pressed the switch to better see his workspace – a notebook and pen sitting in the same place he left it hours ago after the first nightmare. The page was mostly empty save for a few neat lines of writing on the top of the page.

**Dec 1 st, 01:12**

**Lammy was at our family home in her bedroom. She was in front of a mirror, trying on her prom dress and asked for help with the zipper...**

He skimmed past the first few lines as nausea set in at the images processing across the words.

**...hugged me. Then, she just started laughing and blood was falling out of her mouth. Mine too. I tried to talk to her, she didn’t respond and only laughed. I started to shout and choked on blood until I woke up.**

Law huffed in bitter amusement. His stress dreams were nothing if they weren’t consistent. A new normal had been thrust onto him in the last two weeks as he made minor progress in therapy with Robin. His behaviors to tackle were broad in scope – such things as deal with his trauma, be sober, talk to friends, among others that read like a wish list for his life.

Of course, such lofty goals needed tackling at a smaller scope and one of the tasks they agreed on was understanding the source of his avoidance behaviors. And from that meant deciphering the stress piled underneath his dependence on alcohol. Keeping a journal to catalogue his feelings and dream seemed easy enough, then.

Well, it would be. If he could sleep.

Law slid from the bed, the booklet tucked underneath his armpit as he shuffled into the living room and pawed his way through the darkness and searched for his second lamp. The smooth switch underneath his fingers made him sigh with relief as the space was illuminated in the warm light. Turning to the kitchen, there was a sense of routine that dragged a tight dryness to his tongue as he entered the room. Opening the cabinet, he grabbed a mug and pawed further into the shelf before remembering there were no bottles to be found.

Right.

His body was always more honest than his brain allowed him to be.

Preparing the coffee somehow became his new morning ritual. It was a monotonous task that he could focus on more than the necessity settling into his fingertips and pouring grounds on to the counter. The fact that it helped him stay awake instead of drinking to sleep was a nice addition. Law hesitated to bring up this fact to his therapist even if it was related to his treatment, the idea of adding pills a slippery slope in his mind.

Closing the filter, he stood by the counter and listened to the gurgling sounds, playing with the mug handle while he waited for the stand-in beverage to be done. Law hadn’t had a drink in a week, a minor accomplishment despite not going to a support group – his search for a new one was hitting a snag and returning to work had thrown an even bigger wrench in the whole mess.

Law sighed. These groups weren't a place for him to make friends, so why he cared so much about the attendants was a frustrating variable.

Maybe he was worried someone would care too little -

His thoughts drifted to a certain teen and he shook his head.

Or too much.

He was pulled from his contemplation as the sound of paper connecting with tile rang in his ears. The journal under his arm had slipped as he relaxed and absorbed the machine white noise. Leaning down to pick up the paper, he caught a glimpse of something he wrote on the first day of starting the journal:

‘ _I was terrified’_

And the rest of the page was blank. It wasn’t a coincidence that he gave up on trying to catalogue his feelings about that event years ago and he was having more nightmares now. Everyday there was a new treasure trove of trauma he had to dig up and his brain found creative ways to process it without alcohol.

**DING**

Pouring a cup of coffee, Law pushed aside any dread of repeating the nightmare cycle over the coming week.

He just had to get through today.

\-----

Law couldn’t remember the last time he had been in the cafeteria.

Not much had changed – everyone sat in their respective groups, talking amongst each other about whatever patient was being troublesome that day. He had abandoned his outdoor lunch spot for the moment, the association with mid-day drinking made it one of his more recognizable triggers. The three residents he hung with were all tied up in patient care and he was left sitting at a lone table in the corner of the communal area.

Across from him was an infrequent guest, the intern he met weeks ago psyching himself up to attempt a conversation for the second time this week. He watched closely as sandy brown hair sat above a conspicuously small frame – the sweet of choice today was cotton candy. If Law didn’t know any better, he would think this intern didn’t actually eat any food. Picking at the cafeteria lasagna with his fork, he decided his judgement was useless if he didn’t eat either.

Scooping up limp noodles, he stuffed it into his mouth and waited for the inevitable small talk.

“Luffy! Over here!”

The sharp inhale stuffed cheese and noodles into his throat with such force that Law was grateful he would choke surrounded by doctors. Tears welled in his eyes as he tried to gather himself and make sure that he wasn’t hearing things.

“Oi, Chopper!”

Chopper turned back to Law who was trying and failing to play off the degree of his near-death experience.

“Do you mind if my friend sits here?”

Law squinted as he tried to adjust to the pain, looking up at the teen who was making his way over to their table. That straw hat, coupled with the barely buttoned red dress shirt and jean Bermuda shorts, seemed more in place now that he was indoors. Underneath his arm sat an insulated bag that Luffy seemed to be holding for dear life.

“Um, no. It’s fine.” He rasped, taking a quick sip from bottled water.

If nonchalant was a person, Law wasn’t it. The minute Luffy sat down, he was already trying to figure out a way to escape without being recognized. His usual outfit of black scrubs and his coat were inconspicuous enough yet the rest of him was definitely like the sobriety meeting “friend” from weeks ago. Unlike their first meeting, he didn’t have the cover of darkness as a disguise.

Taking another bite of noodle, he opted to focus on his lunch with increased interest until the playdate ahead was finished.

Idly listening, the two of them were beaming with energy the moment they got together. The conversation shifted to pieces quickly – something about a movie and favorite comic books gave way to theories about characters with every coherent thread in between being swallowed in the fray. Law had never seen the intern behave that way, even in passing, and he figured the age-appropriate friend had a lot to do with it.

“Hm…”

The lack of spirited talking made for a suspicious moment and Law glanced up at the round eyes that were watching him intently, staring at his face as if it held a deep secret. There was a distinct warmth in his cheeks at this survey and it left him feeling oddly exposed.

“Have we met before?”

Law cursed internally at this ill-fated meeting, one that seemed to stir a new excitement in the intern who squeaked at hearing the question.

“What?! You know Dr. Trafalgar?!” Chopper could barely contain his surprise, his cheeks tinged pink and eyes wide with curiosity as the other two exchanged contrasting glances.

“Tra – Traf –” Luffy was saying the last name as if it were a foreign object, his tongue twisting around the sounds in Law’s name. Law watched him between sips of water, and he could see the gears turning in Luffy’s head as he combed through why it sounded familiar.

“Just call me Law. Everyone does.” Law interjected, trying to break the train of thought and hoping the name wouldn’t click. Their back and forth did little to derail the bubbling intern who looked like he was ready to burst.

“Luffy,” Chopper began, tone scolding at his friends’ casual approach. “This is Dr. Trafalgar. Well, the third Dr. Trafalgar but his family is well known for their work in medicine so far. His dad, Laurent Trafalgar, was a pioneer in the Amber Lead Syndrome research. He even helped develop the vaccine that’s now –”

Law could feel annoyance clawing at him as the intern began waxing poetic about his parents. It wasn’t a new thing for him – Amber Lead Syndrome was such a devastating condition that even Law himself was shocked to hear his fathers’ part in curing it. But the stories of such accomplishments only left a sour taste in his mouth when they carried such weight of the legacy expected.

“And Law was the youngest person in his medical school class to graduate, poised to be one of the top doctors in his field. We bring people from outside of Dressrosa to come see him –”

It was unsurprising that Chopper knew so much about Law. They were alike in the “very young doctor” respect and he probably saw a mentor in the senior physician. Currently, Law was focused more on the older teen who was looking at him again with a twinkle in his eye that telegraphed how well he processed this new information.

“Oh! Wow, you’re an awesome doctor.”

That statement is said with such finality that Law didn’t have a response. Exactly what did Luffy get out of that speech?

“I get hurt a ton so now I have two friends that can help. Oh! OH! You’re a surgeon, right? Do you think you could give me an extra pair of legs? I want them to stick out the back so it’s like I’m a centaur.” Luffy paused, eyebrows furring as he thought over the image in his mind and settling on the appropriately cool descriptor.

Suddenly, a growling in his stomach pushed all of the steam out of him at once and he turned his attention to the insulated bag he brought.

“Anyways, let’s eat! Sanji made some lunch for you too, Chopper.”

Luffy dug through the bottomless container – pulling out boxes of assorted entrees and drooling at each new thing he set his eyes on.

As Law watched the table fill with lunchboxes, confusion was one word to describe how he felt. He ran over the current conversation in his head and tried to pinpoint what was lost on Luffy who was already eating, stuffing this and that into bulging cheeks. The reaction he got was the kind of subdued acceptance that didn’t match with anything Luffy knew of him thus far.

He expected the association of “top doctor” and “sobriety” to set off a cascade of questions that he didn’t want to answer, but none of that seemed to matter to the teen. Law relaxed his shoulders as the energized conversation started again and curiosity ate at him as he looked at the unlikely pair.

Luffy must have the opposite problem with alcohol that made him sociable.

“So, Luffy. How do you know our intern here?”

Luffy stopped eating long enough to properly chew his food as he registered the question, looking over at Chopper who was munching happily on a fruit sandwich and gulping loudly before picking up another box of food.

“Chopper helped take care of me when I was a patient here. I had to come back today for a check-up.” he gleamed, pulling back his shirt to reveal bandages wrapped around his chest. Even Law could see how poorly they were wrapped and sunk in places to reveal pink skin underneath. The degree of the amateur post-op care was apparent to either doctor though Chopper was more willing to reprimand.

“Luffy! You didn’t follow anything Dr. Phoenix told you! Let me fix those.”

Chopper was reaching over to fix the wrap, a move that annoyed the older teen as he whined to continue eating despite the caring attention. Luffy put his hand on Choppers face to keep him at bay as he held conversation with Law and the senior doctor briefly entertained the idea of intervening.

“We hung out a lot when I had to stay in bed, and we’re friends now so I bring him food when he’s at work sometimes,” Luffy put his arm down as Chopper ran out of steam, small grumblings cutting through the surrender.

“I make deliveries for my friend Sanji’s restaurant, he’s an awesome cook. I can bring you some of his food too if you want.”

A few more bites and Luffy was finished with his last box. He sighed contentedly as he leaned back in the chair. Law stood and looked at his watch, his lunch break only had twenty minutes left and maybe getting a head start on his paperwork wouldn’t be the worst thing. Moving to pick up his tray, he fumbled with the plastic as the sound of a palm against the tabletop broke his concentration.

“Torao!”

Law froze at the nickname, a reaction that didn’t go unnoticed by the teen who was looking accomplished at something clearly working in his mind outside of food talk.

“Oooh! I was right.”

There was a huge grin peeling across Luffy’s face as he stood up, hands still on the table as they stood in silence.

“You’re going to come back tomorrow, aren’t you?”

“Wait, Luffy. Where? What are you guys doing?” Chopper asked, a series of questions that reminded Law of the innocent bystander in their conversation and spurring him into action.

Cleaning up became an afterthought as he circled around the table, grabbing Luffy by the arm and guiding him firmly out of the cafeteria. Behind him, he could hear Luffy calling back to Chopper with cheerful apologies that Law feared would only heighten the suspicions of the young doctor.

Dragging his new companion out of the cafeteria, Law had considered little past getting Luffy away from his colleagues and instead they wandered aimlessly throughout the corridors. As they walked, the uncoordinated sounds of sandals against tile were the only thing cluing him in to just how fast he had been walking and Law stopped once they stood in front of a set of elevators.

Luffy appeared appreciative of this break, groaning while he placed a hand on Law’s shoulder.

“Torao,” He whined, his held arm holding his stomach as the food barely had any time to settle. “Where are we going?”

“Who are you seeing for your check up today?” Law asked, pressing the up arrow on the elevator buttons.

“Marco told me to come.”

Law frowned at the vague answer.

“Oh, uh…Dr. Phoenix?” Luffy asked in a tone that sounded comically unsure of himself.

“THAT Marco. I see."

A ding alerted them to the opening elevator doors with a gaggle of hospital staff getting off and Law ushering the two of them into an empty one with little flourish. Upon pressing the button for the fourth floor, Law glanced over at Luffy still sitting quietly in his grasp and loosened his grip on the teens arm as he realized how aggressive his reaction had been. 

“So, are you responsible for group attendance or something?”

The beeps of the elevator sang within the small space as they passed through the second floor.

“You didn’t come back for two meetings and nobody knew who Torao was, they just mentioned some Law guy.” Luffy shot him a concerned look that made Law feel a tinge of guilt, the feeling short lived as the stare was replaced with another big smile.

“So seeing you today was lucky! I was pretty worried about you.”

Once the machine settled on their stop, the doctor was back to pulling the two of them out of the elevator. The timing couldn’t have been better for Law as he absorbed what Luffy just said and conflicting feelings rose in his throat. Even if he didn't want to see Luffy, the thought of how much he cared fought with his desire to not care about his actions.

Why did he feel so bad?

“Here.”

They pivoted quickly into an exam room and Law closed the door, tossing Luffy a bit forcefully onto the exam chair before sitting in the available exam stool. It was likely someone could use this space, but Law only needed a moment to talk some sense into Luffy who was threatening to expose him with every sentence.

“Listen, I need you to understand something,” he began, shifting his gaze up to the teen who was staring owlishly back at him. The bandages hanging from his shirt were even looser now, an observation that couldn’t go unnoticed by Law and he lost his train of thought once his professionalism took hold.

Moving towards the set of gloves on the wall, he pulled out a pair of the large size and gestured vaguely to Luffy’s chest area while moving.

“Um. Those bandages are really bothering me. Do you mind if I take a look?”

It was a command masquerading as a question and Law was glad that Luffy obliged when he took off his shirt. Planting back into the stool, he palpated the wound cautiously and they sat in silence as he donned a more serious persona.

Upon further observation, nothing seemed out of the ordinary and Law would go so far as to say it didn’t need wrapping judging from the amount of scar tissue. He couldn’t help but notice how unsightly it formed and made a note to discuss it with Marco later. Hands passing over Luffy’s chest, the guilt had firmly planted itself in his abdomen and Law looked for an opportunity to dispose of it.

“I’m sorry.”

Law kept his eyes forward, the confused blinks coming from his temporary patient sweeping through his periphery.

"For what?" Luffy asked, lifting his arm as Law continued to survey.

The doctor had already made his deduction about the wound – it was fine, if anything this check-up was only necessary to make sure the scars were properly forming. But he couldn’t pull himself away just yet or else the buffer between their uncomfortable conversation would be pulled out from under him.

“For worrying you. I wasn’t aware I’d made a lasting impression on anyone from those meetings.”

His fingers shook above the skin as Luffy laughed, this one more stifled and stranger than the others Law had heard, and it was a small relief that the teen didn’t seem too mad at him.

“It’s okay, you’re looking at my injuries even though Marco said he would do it. So, I’m sure you’re worried about me too. It’s what friends do.”

“I’m doing this because it’s my obligation as a doctor.” Law corrected, feeling a recognizable warmth at the praise. “But you’re healing well. You shouldn’t have any problems with it after today.” Pulling backwards, he unraveled the gloves from his hands and went to throw them away in the trashcan.

“Thanks, Torao.”

That name somehow seemed less grating the more Law heard it. He stood by the door as Luffy put his shirt back on, watching him fiddle with redoing the buttons before giving up halfway through and leaving the top undone. Leaning forward in the exam chair, Luffy let his feet swing back and forth while they waited for the other doctor to return. Law took the silence as an opening to finish their previous discussion, leaning against the wall as he continued to speak.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell Chopper,” He said, crossing his arms over his chest, “about the meetings, I mean.”

The exam room door opened, and Law jumped at the shift to see Marco was standing at the doorway, an apple in hand and a puzzled look at the two staring back at him before he recognized the one in the patient chair.

“Oh, Luffy. There you are.” He turned to look at the other doctor who was pointedly adjusting his white coat, “I see you got to know Dr. Trafalgar here.”

“Yup! He already did the exam.” Luffy pulled his shirt open once more to reveal his now bare chest and emphasize the lack of bandages. Marco raised his eyebrows and Law coughed softly in an attempt to excuse the professional overstep. While it wasn't weird that he took the initiative to check on a patient, his reputation for micromanaging patient care got him a smug smile from the other doctor.

"Thanks, I'll take care of him from here."

Seeing an opportunity to leave, Law kept his back towards the wall and inelegantly walked backwards out of the room while holding up a hand at the grinning teen.

“Well, Luffy. I will see you tomorrow then.”

Closing the door, Law made it a few steps towards the elevator before the unwitting slip dawned on him and he rubbed his hands across his eyes.

Crap.

Even if he didn’t mean it, Luffy was sure to accept that as an answer to his question in the cafeteria. Law hadn’t considered the possibility of going back to the group yet the look on the teens face made him feel worse than if he didn’t go at all. The chime of the elevator rang in the background as he walked into the car and checked his watch.

It was already ten minutes past his lunch break, time slipping from him every time he interacted with Luffy. A yawn escaped his lips as the exhaustion from last night settled in once again. If he got through today, it would be a miracle.

Well, now he needed to.

Someone was waiting to see him tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of got away from me? I can't say I am SUPER happy with it but a stepping stone for these two nonetheless.
> 
> Thanks as always for reading, commenting, interacting at all. I hope you guys are enjoying things so far!


	12. Friends

“Torao!”

Even from this distance, Law could see the excited glint in the teens eyes as he caught sight of him from down the street. That expression seemed to make up little for the reluctance he felt to come to the meetings tonight and the wind biting at his cheeks with every step.

Outside of the building, Luffy had his hands up as he waved wildly next to Zoro who was merely taking sips from a metal flask with pointed neglect of the excitement. The image of the smiling teen sitting next to his prickly friend was such a contrast that Law guessed it was a regular thing for Luffy to bring the dejected drunks to these meetings.

That’s how he got him to come, right?

Law twisted his hands around his backpack handles and brushed his fingers against the rough fabric. It was weird to think of how this item that held something for him to forget now was to hold a written log of memories he wanted to erase as his journal flopped around inside. The sack felt lighter without the additional bottles hanging through the bottom though the emptiness still brought a weight he couldn’t quite shake.

Walking up the stairs, he eyed the green haired man with unadulterated envy as he threw his head back in pursuit of every last drop within the container.

If only.

“We’re going to be late.” Zoro muttered, standing up from the top step and opening the door just as Law made his way to meet the pair. Luffy was completely unphased by the cold reunion, his focus instead on Law as he awkwardly shuffled behind him in a subtle attempt to keep his new group friend from escaping again.

They walked ahead into the hallways and the lazy footsteps of the cashier passed an awkward rhythm against their own. The empty design that was once a blessing grew into a curse as they stayed shoulder to shoulder, Law hoping for something to occupy his time while he sought a conversation topic despite the short distance.

“Everyone in this group is really nice by the way.”

Luffy slipped his hands inside of the coat pockets while he eyed the room numbers carefully. Law kept his eyes forward, mirroring Luffy’s stance as he processed the tame statement from his side. The same unbridled excitement that he was greeted with seemed diluted in their trek from the front doors and the observation wasn’t lost on the doctor.

“That’s lucky. I hoped I would have a better excuse for not coming recently.” Law joked dryly while he moved his gaze to the right, checking the door numbers and quietly gauging Luffy’s reaction. The teen gave a short laugh before landing on a neutral smile, eyes not meeting Law’s own as his attention stayed on the numbers. It was in that moment Law gave him a once over and noticed the shuffling inside of those coat pockets, a movement he was all too familiar with.

Ah.

So, he could get nervous coming to these kinds of places too. The idea of small talk was abandoned to their walk now, Law instead opting to let them sit in what he hoped was appreciated silence. It was a short lived endeavor once they got to the door and Luffy turned back to him, eyes meeting for the first time since they came in.

“Just in case you were worried about what to say. They won’t judge you.”

Law crossed the space between them to grab the door handle before Luffy could, the abrupt change in conversation one he was grateful as he felt it veer into discomfort. As the straw hat passed ahead of him, he listened for the footsteps behind that had graduated from moderate laziness to pure sloth as Zoro sauntered past the doctor with a yawn. Seeing it made Law bite back one of his own and the need for coffee ate at him.

Walking inside, he made a beeline for the carafe and sighed with anticipation once his drink was in order. As he looked around the circle for a place to sit, the empty seats were few and far between and it became clear to him that he couldn’t be picky once the pale gold of straw crossed his vision. Law followed the hat-shaped beacon to Luffy who sat with a pile of assorted snacks in his lap, taking the chair between him and Zoro in the same place he sat only weeks ago.

Time passed as the sounds of the other attendees filled the room with idle conversations piling on one another and drowning out the silence. Law pulled his eyelids open the exhaustion of his total ten hours of sleep over the past few days creeping in. He took a sip from the coffee cup before recoiling quickly at the pain spreading on his tongue that signaled the temperature of the liquid and the price of his impatience.

If it wasn’t one thing, it was another.

Law grimaced as teeth ran across the now numb spot on his tongue and the noise in the room fell into hushed murmurs once the facilitator walked inside. She absentmindedly scanned the room before taking a seat across from the fiery redhead admiring his own nails in lieu of conversation with the others.

“Hello everyone! I’m glad to see so many familiar faces. It’s encouraging to see so many of you here especially with it being the end of the year which is difficult for a lot of you. I hope you all will return over the next couple of weeks as we address some coping strategies to get us through.”

Setting his backpack down, Law caught a glance at his watch and saw it was only three minutes past the six o’clock start time. A fact that would have bothered him less if he weren’t now aware of how slowly time passed when he was present to sit through it. Surviving the next hour felt a bigger test of his willpower than sobriety ever could, and he rested his elbows on his knees to prop his head up.

There was a moment of deep sighing before he saw a napkin come into view from his side, the snoring cluing him into which of his neighbors was handing it in.

“You can have this one, if you want.”

Despite the fact that he wasn’t hungry, Law felt relieved at any kind of offering that he could take before his drink became less of a hazard. He gave a small hum of appreciation before taking the cookie, setting it on his leg, and looking back at Luffy who had two other flavors of cookies sticking out between his lips.

“Thanks.” 

The teen maneuvered his tongue around the pastries and ate both in quick succession, still staring at Law for a moment before he turned to the man who sat a few seats over talk about his new job. Law grabbed the dessert and sunk his teeth into the chocolate, idly listening as he leaned into his palm while his attention was on the measured silence coming from Luffy.

The animated talk of mythical creature surgery was a far cry from the quiet reservation he had now. He was listening so intently that Law wasn’t sure if it the same kid from the cafeteria who nearly told all of the hospital of his deepest secret with zero consideration of his surroundings.

What exactly caused such a turn was more interesting than he cared to admit.

\----

“And, well, it’s hard to think about what you did before alcohol. I worry about what to do at gatherings and parties. I had a friend ask me to come with him to the holiday party at his job but, I wasn’t sure how to mention my sobriety. So, I lied about having dinner with my mom. And it just – it sucks, you know?”

With that, the woman speaking took a sip from her cup to stand as an uneventful end to her story garnering nods and grumbles from the other members as they took in the shared experience. Finishing another cup of coffee, Law caught sight of his watch again and saw that there were only five minutes left of this meeting.

At this point, he was counting down the seconds.

“Well, is there anyone else who wants to speak?” Gwyn said with a sweeping glance around the room, hands firmly on top of her clipboard as she observed the group.

Law looked up from his cup to catch a sneaking look at everyone else who was avoiding his eyes, an understandable reaction for someone who missed out on two meetings after saying little on his first. He couldn’t deny the level of vulnerability that came with divulging these stories and how much that exchange gave a level of comfort to the otherwise tense gathering.

The idea of saying anything felt even more awkward now.

He thought to return to his caffeine crutch before he noticed Luffy looking at him with interest in a way he hadn’t given the others tonight and it made his stomach stir. The silence had turned into more than an act of abstinence and he was reminded of the worry the teen had openly expressed for him.

“Um.”

What was he doing?

“I haven’t had a drink for one week now. Um. Longest week of my life, I’d say.” The admission roused a few members who sighed with understanding.

“The first week is the hardest. Oof, you picked a crazy time to do it though.” Kid said with a hint of pity, his raised eyebrows betraying the sympathetic words.

“Yeah, well, I had something happen that just made it a necessity for me.” Law was acutely aware of how carefully he chose his words, the reveal of anything further felt like walking on thin ice and he was too nervous to fall into the frigid waters.

“But it’s been – difficult doesn’t begin – I drink to forget some things. Not everything, just the worst parts of it. And it was just as,” he paused as the name he never bothered to learn escaped him, “someone else said. Figuring out what you do when you stop it isn’t easy.”

Law floundered through the words while he stared at the tattoos on his hands, the ink on his skin far more interesting to stare at than the audience he had in this drastic departure from his comfort zone. The stutters and sighs that came with each sentence only seemed to spur him on more in a nervous feedback loop.

“And – er – well, I hope I can do a little bit more than working as a distraction to stay sober. And that coming here could help with that, I guess.”

There was an alarm ringing from the direction of the refreshment table and a startled snort from his side broke his rambling not a moment too soon. Idle conversations around him started up again between the farewell messages and Law squeezed his fingers together as he tried to release the tension that built up in the uncoordinated spill.

“Well, thank you for sharing, Law. Everyone is here for you if you need it.”

The offer went over his head while he waited for the nervousness to sweep through fully, keeping his eyes on the ground with view of the sandals next to his boots.

He would be lying if he said this felt easier than talking at therapy, the promise of his feelings staying within those four walls made it much more enticing to speak freely even if the group members would have far better understanding.

A soft pat on his shoulder and with it some relief as the sandals moved out of view. Luffy had gone to graze on what was left at the refreshments table and Law watched him from the chair, his hands steady in their grasp.

\---

“Are you hungry?”

Law flinched as he wiped the paper towel across his face, the sheet blocking his vision of the teen waiting on the bench down the hall. He had been in the restroom for a moment too long, washing his face with water in an attempt to be alert enough to still cook once he was at home.

Being in medicine has ruined his caffeine tolerance.

“I should go home. I have a lot of paperwork to do.” Law murmured without the energy to make his excuse convincing. Between throwing himself up on the stage to be exposed and the journaling he still hadn’t done, Law wasn’t sure how much more he could take of being around others.

He waited to see how the lie would pass to Luffy who furrowed his eyebrows in disappointment, an expression that faded as he noticed his other friend coming out of the meeting room.

“Zoro! Let’s go eat!”

Luffy grabbed Law’s forearm tightly and he faltered at the unexpected touch as he was pulled forward, the teen using him for balance as he beamed. It looked like the cheery Luffy was back, a switch likely brought on from being outside of the addiction talk and it was a sentiment that Law could appreciate. Walking past them, Zoro grumbled as he folded a sheet of paper and stretched an arm across his chest.

“Ugh, yeah. I’m starving.” He stuffed the square into his back pocket unceremoniously, “I’m going to be stuck here forever at this rate.”

Before Law could react to the statement, there was another firm squeeze on his forearm as Luffy smiled up at him – expression shiny and eager in a way that rooted him to the ground as he stared back. There was a warm relief at seeing this side of Luffy again and he wondered when he had preferences to this person who foisted themselves into his life.

“I’ve gotta go, but it was good to see you here again! I told you they were nice.” He let go of Law’s arm, the loss of that grip less satisfying than the doctor would have anticipated.

“So, come back, okay?”

Looking back and realizing the distance between him and Zoro, Luffy went to catch up with him and left Law standing against the bench to process his straightforward request.

And just like that, the little bright spot was gone.

Law hung back by the bench until he was certain the coast was clear and walking towards the doors to the frigid air outside. There was so much to think about during his walk, and he wondered if he could touch on all of it before making it back to his apartment. He dipped his hands into his coat pocket in a quiet check of his items while he warmed the cold digits.

_I was worried about you._

He made a noise between a groan and a sigh as the words crossed his mind. The way that Luffy had attached himself seemed to track for his usual way of meeting people if those three residents were any indication. But the interactions stuck in a foreign way that he dared not call “friendship” unless he wanted to reinvent the term.

‘Emotional crowbar’ might be too on the nose.

A growl in his stomach reoriented his priorities as he walked into the intersection that sat as a halfway point between him and his apartment, the lights from the hospital only a few blocks in the opposite direction and intensifying his hunger pangs as he realized the other responsibilities he had tonight and how little he wanted to do them.

It was a small victory once he remembered seeing all of the restaurants in his walk a few weeks ago and decided tonight was a better one than any to get takeout. Standing at the corner, he searched the line of businesses ahead to parse which ones were food among the lights.

“What about…two for four hundred Berries?”

Picking out that voice was becoming easier among the noise and Law pushed aside the thought of what it said about him. Around the corner, a visibly irritated kabob vendor was pinching his forehead as the teen stood on the curb, holding up two fingers and a small group of people behind him who were only growing more impatient.

“Listen. They are one for three hundred or two for five hundred, if you don’t have that then I can’t help you kid. Are you going to buy anything or not?”

Luffy stared back at the owner with wide eyes as if he couldn’t understand the sign and it only made him more aggressive in his pitch.

“Two for…” A hum punctuated the internal math, “three hundred.”

Did Luffy not understand bartering? Watching this was painful, that’s why he was over here.

“Ugh, Hi. I’m sorry about him. How many did you want?”

That’s what Law told himself, anyways. The desire to save the people behind the line from anymore of this interaction. He decided it was was a small price to pay for how he was effectively taking responsibility for the mess. The strangled cry of excitement that Luffy made only matched the quiet enthusiasm of the man behind the stand who was ready to get the teen out of his hair.

“You’re going to buy me these, Torao?! Okay, I want three.”

Law held up five fingers as the mutters from the other patrons were of mixed excitement for food and disgruntled insults flowed in. None of it bothered Luffy who was bubbling as they stacked the meat skewers into disposable boats. Passing a few bills to the cashier, he handed Luffy the food and dropped a few more coins into the tip jar before dragging him away from the cart.

“Oooh, thank you!”

Law wrapped his finger around the cardboard as he tucked the napkins underneath, the smell of the food helping tame the exasperation he felt at the turn of events for his evening. He did say he wanted to get dinner, so having met that end was fine even if it meant the detour or the impromptu meeting. Walking back to the corner, Luffy slid a few chunks off of a stick and munched happily as he eyed Law who was watching the pedestrian signs.

“That guy was really mad, huh?”

Calling him clueless was an understatement.

The question made Law all the more concerned about how Luffy had made it that far at the stand without anyone stopping him. It was at that moment the lack of green hair hanging around the teen was more apparent, and he searched the street behind them carefully.

“Weren’t you with Zoro?”

The walk sign flashed on the opposite corner and they started to cross, Luffy sticking the pointy end of the first kabob into his mouth with such disregard that Law had to stop himself from chiding him over the hazard.

“Oh, he wanted to drink instead so he went to Franky’s. But I didn’t want to go.”

Law made a hum of understanding as he took a bite from his own kabob. Luffy was obviously the only one between the pair that took their sobriety seriously.

“And I forgot my wallet at home. Zoro only gave me five hundred berries but I was sooo hungry. Sanji doesn’t like when I ask for too many free meals, so I really didn’t know what to do.” He whined, visibly deflating at the idea of starving while starting on the second kabob, “But then I ran into you! You really saved me out there.”

He punctuated his praise with a grin and brought back the renewed interest Law had in Luffy’s attitude change. This was the most they had talked all evening and even going to the meetings filled in little about what exactly the teen wanted to gain from seeing him every week.

Or trying to befriend him at all, for that matter. The curiosity sunk in further as he took another bite.

“So, why do you come to these meetings?”

The question tumbled out quickly, an unusual step even for him and he wiped a napkin on his lips. Luffy paused his chewing for a moment as they approached another street corner, the silence only making Law regret his choices more before they got the signal to cross into another block.

“Er – I’m sorry. You just didn’t say anything during.”

Luffy blinked at the sudden apology, fingers twisting around the last kabob in his hands. As they passed a convenience store, the lights from the windows made it easy to see the thoughtful expression on Luffy’s face and Law combed his mind for another topic.

“I did something bad. Really bad.”

He bit down on the meat, keeping his eyes forward in what seemed to be more contemplation of his words.

“And I wanted to understand what went wrong.”

Luffy cut through elaborating with more food in his cheeks and it told Law everything he needed to know. He thought back to the empty sheets of paper in his journal and his own recollection in the meetings, the familiar vagueness of his answers a feature when speaking of difficult things. Suddenly, the silence had taken on a new meaning and it tugged at a new weight settling in his chest.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

There was a muffled laugh as Luffy finished his last skewer, crushing the cardboard boat in his hands and absolving Law of all of the guilt as quickly as it had come.

“It’s okay,” He crossed to a trashcan with the doctor taking the opportunity to throw away his own finished dinner, “It just means I was right.”

Law blinked in quick succession, confusion overtaking everything else as he thought of the preconceptions anyone could come up with for a person they’ve only met twice.

“Right?”

“About you being worried. And us being friends.”

The accusation washed over him with hot embarrassment and Law tensed as he realized he had no real excuse to dispute the claim.

“It’s just that I can understand coming to the meetings to figure out things like that.” He put his hands into his pockets as he looked for an outlet of the newly minted feelings, “I’m doing the same. And you mentioned talking in these things so, it was weird when you didn’t say anything at all.”

“Oh,”

Luffy’s expression lit up as he caught sight of a house right behind Law and he jumped at the brief tumble in his emotions once he realized Luffy wasn’t reacting to the confirmation of his concern.

“My brother is home!”

Turning around, it was only then Law had realized they walked several blocks away from where his apartment was. The neighborhood was one he barely recognized in his walks around Bepo’s apartment and how the hell he managed to walk this far was an answer he knew as he looked at the straw hat ahead of him.

“Wait,”

Luffy shuffled his hands into his coat pockets, the same glint in his eyes renewed from earlier before pulling out a red phone and quickly typing onto the screen. Law questioned whether or not he should stick around to watch Luffy text before the device was shoved into his chest, a move that forced him to look at the Dialpad screen glowing under his nose.

“What’s your number? I text all of my friends and you’re no exception.”

“What?”

“And! You can talk to me about stuff. Which is what you wanted, right?”

There’s a tease hiding behind the grin on Luffy’s face – a recognition of the concern that he was now taking complete advantage of in their departure. Law took the phone as he realized he had little reason to refuse the invitation, even if it meant being able to dissuade anymore cafeteria outbursts.

That crowbar analogy was even more appropriate now as he typed the number and handed it back to Luffy who ran past him towards the black car out front.

“Bye, Torao!”

Law held up a hand in a casual wave to the teen that disappeared behind the front door. Somehow, every interaction he had with Luffy left him with more strange emotions than when he went in yet the thought of it happening weekly was met with little resistance in his mind.

Fishing around in his pockets, he opened the maps app on his phone and attempted to reconfigure how exactly he would get home.

‘ _Turn right onto Colosseum street.’_

Leather shoes against the sidewalk were the only things he could hear outside of the robotic voice, the neighborhood surprisingly quiet for even Dressrosa. It was an unsettling thought to be alone in the large city and Law poked through his phone as a distraction from it all. The blue arrow on the screen was hidden slightly by the bar sliding down his screen and Law felt the vibration tickle his palm.

Checking the notification, he saw that Luffy waited little time before texting him.

**Unknown Number (19:30): Luffy. :)**

He entertained what to type in response before the chat bubbles appeared on the screen and he sensed Luffy’s texting abilities to be close to his in person communication.

**Unknown Number (19:31): See you next week!**

**Unknown Number (19:32): Oh also, please buy me dinner again**

**Unknown Number (19:33): Haha kidding**

**Unknown Number (19:33): Unless you wanna**

Crossing the street, Law recognized the park near Bepo’s apartment and huffed in amusement at the turn of events from those last few weeks as he typed out a quick response. It was a special kind of irony that trying to escape Luffy the first time would have turned into being stuck with him further.

_Come back, okay?_

**Me (19:40): See you next week.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for the slightly late update. I wrote so much for this chapter and then things went left so we start again. I am actually a little fond of these nerds in this chapter and I hope you all like it too. I'll try to get a new chapter out if I can but I'm currently in the middle of a self quarantine so things could not pick back up for me until after new years haha. (・_・;)
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, commenting, anything really.


	13. Influence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: [brackets] in texts are emojis haha

Three minutes.

Somehow the last two felt longer.

Running the soap bar over his arm, Law sighed at the lack of excitement so early in the morning. Hand washing was the kind of monotonous task he couldn’t get used to being a doctor and the dull ache in his brain was only worsened by his exhaustion. Scrubbing his hands in the prep room, he tried to think of anything that would be better than staring at the clock and watching the thin hand pass over the numbers.

What to have for lunch?

No, that was already decided for him when he checked the menu this morning.

Hum his favorite song?

None of them came to mind, the only thing they played in the OR was classical music and that would put him to sleep if he tried.

Something to do after work –

Law paused his scrubbing, a reaction that he cursed silently at once he realized it would put him off of his time. The last thing he needed to do was accidentally cut short proper sterilization after being wrist deep inside of a stranger’s abdomen. Besides, he already knew what he was doing after work.

Wednesday’s were the only days he kept track of anymore.

Rinsing his hands, Law looked at the clock that taunted him with its reminder of how early it had been in the morning as the shorter hand sat on the 10. He still had to be at work for another seven hours and he had been here since six. It was any wonder that he regularly did shifts like this prior to this foray into sobriety.

Moving to grab the paper towels, he felt the small weight shift in his pockets and the other associations with his Wednesdays piled on as he walked into the hallway. Fishing the small electronic from his scrubs, a notification with the word Luffy shone back at him and he stared at the name.

Five text messages, two of which he knew off of the top of his head.

**Luffy (09:45): Good morning :)**

**Luffy (09:46): What’s up?**

It was a bit of consistency from someone whose next texts always contained something Law couldn’t predict – mostly silly things that made him think of law or a passing stream of consciousness. The last week had been another new change in his routine, one that at least gave his phone a purpose outside of work-related things.

Luffy texted him most days, the times he did so were always different as he never seemed to be awake before 10 am except for a day he had to work. The two of them didn’t really have much to say to each other and yet, Luffy wasn’t deterred by him being a bad conversation partner in the least.

Or if he did, he was awful at showing it.

**Me (10:15): Just got out of surgery.**

Quiet mornings were another sacrifice to the whirlwind that was Luffy. Now he would go to work, the times out of sync with Luffy’s own but unpredictable as he was, Luffy would message him with whatever topics they were to talk about that day, and they would fit conversation between the chaos.

**Luffy (10:15): Oh, for what?**

**Me (10:16): Collected two appendixes this morning.**

**Me (10:16): Three actually.**

Law quickly typed the response between his walk to the break room, a little proud of his joke on several of the surgeries he had done on his shift. The speech bubbles passed over the screen briefly and Law watched intently while waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brew.

**Luffy (10:17): What?**

**Luffy (10:18): Wait I looked it up**

**Luffy (10:18): Wtf they let you keep those?**

The text messages came in quick succession, the vibrations melding together against his palm. Law sighed at the literal response, silently kicking himself for not realizing just how straightforward Luffy could be. He had been on the receiving end of that blunt process frequently and well – three times was a pattern.

**Me (10:21): No, it was a surgery joke. Sorry.**

Sticking the phone into his shirt pocket, Law freed his hands to grab his morning coffee. The sensations against his chest signaling another string of messages rang much like the first. It was a feeling that settled in just as well as the sounds of idle preparation of his drink as he covered the mug and started towards his next stop.

**Luffy (10:22): OOOOOHHHHH! LOL**

**Luffy (10:23): …I don’t have an extra one of those btw**

Law furrowed his eyebrows at the information volunteered to him, his mouth in a slight curl at the admission. It was the kind of ridiculously suspicious answer that he would expect from Luffy.

**Me (10:30): Good to know.**

Law walked into doctor’s station and set his cup down, sliding his fingers around the paperwork tossed into his box with his phone carefully placed into the shirt pocket of his scrubs. There was a ghosting of tingles on his skin as he went over the charts, the lack of text messages something he had become unaccustomed to over the past week. He turned around to see all of the computers at this station occupied.

A passing glance at his watch showed that he probably only had 30 minutes of free time before someone snatched him up again. Enough to do one or two charts if he got his laptop. He had a chart in one hand and his phone in another while he went up the stairs.

**Luffy (10:35): [Drooling face]**

The next text message was a landscape photo of food – probably four plates strewn about in one side of the booth that Luffy was taking the picture from and three of them had some kind of breakfast meat. How Luffy managed to survive just purely on protein was beyond him.

It was an innocent enough photo, Luffy was clearly someone who liked to eat if he was willing to sacrifice the sanity of others to do so. Still, the sight made Law more aware of the coffee mug in his hands as he thought about the sort of breakfast he was having, and how it paled in comparison. Passing a vending machine, he took the opportunity to grab an energy bar.

Maybe he should have stuck with coffee.

Even honey was far too sweet for him and Law reconsidered his spontaneous meal with every bite. The text messages stopped for a moment more once he grabbed his laptop, the little intermissions only passing through him when he wasn’t already rushing to get to a calm place in his morning. As he sat down, he forced another bite of the bar before finishing a text and placing the phone on the table.

**Luffy (10:41): Coming to the meeting tonight?**

**Me (10:45): Wednesday’s, right?**

It was easy for him to get stuck into his work now, a pen in his mouth as he worked on transferring chart data into his computer for uploading. The background noise did little to mute the vibrations rumbling under his fingertips while he worked. Sitting at a laptop, food in his mouth, and someone texting him with little regard for how busy he was felt oddly familiar.

Law sighed as he found a stopping point in his work and checked his phone again.

**Luffy (10:46): Hey! Just making sure haha**

**Luffy (10:47): You okay?**

Well, there was one more consistency in Luffy’s texts to him. 

It was in that text that Law was able to put a name to the familiarity that crept onto him. Law usually had someone to check on him during the day – Cora did it routinely in a subtle check of Law’s faculties and to ask about his drinking. They were little interactions that Law usually never found time for, a short reply here and there.

He frowned as he put the phone face down on the table. It was another small regret that snuck up on him.

No, the feeling of talking to Luffy was reminiscent of a different time in his life. One with three other people who looked after him and the answers to simple questions like ‘How are you feeling?’ had even simpler answers. Busy with adjusting to life in the hospital meant he had time to dedicate to his own wellbeing and it was something his sister had taken into her own hands not soon after.

The little texts with passing jokes and images that weren’t about the work he was drowning in were a regular feature of her check-ins. They only saw each other for a few weeks at a time once he had gone off to school and Lami made sure that they had something to talk about in that time.

She was worried about him and talking to her always forced a remember to take care of himself. Taking a final bite of the energy bar, he danced around how easily he had made the decision to eat this morning before deciding to text back.

**I’m fine**

Law stared at the message that he typed – something short and not entirely incorrect for Luffy’s purposes. It wasn’t as if he had to know every single thing that bothered him. Luffy never pried after asking and seemed satisfied enough in the idea of Law responding to the question at all.

The blinking cursor bar was a mocking indication that he couldn’t decide to just leave it at that.

**Me (10:57): Just tired, that’s all.**

Law started to get back to his work before he heard footsteps coming towards him. Several sets, a group of people coming over to interrupt his work and he didn’t have to look up to know exactly who it was.

“Law! Hey, we have a surprise for you.”

He feigned concentration on his laptop while he heard Penguin call out to him, his phone immediately back in his shirt pocket. Law tried not to show the relief he felt for them not having seen him buried in the screen only moments ago. If their reaction to his surface level lie about Doflamingo was any indication, the idea of Law being involved with any human being outside of the three of them was met with fanfare and prodding about who exactly this person was to him

The would be questions about Luffy were ones he couldn’t even answer.

Law made a small noise in his throat as a bag was placed on his keyboard, the red bag shiny and covered in bows as they sought to decorate it in the most obnoxious way possible.

“Happy – late – apartment warming!”

He looked up at the residents waiting with bated breath for him to open their gift. Bepo’s white coat stood out against Penguin and Shachi who were dressed casually, both wearing their hats that covered their faces, and he could still see their incredulous expressions as he eyed them suspiciously.

“It’s not a gag gift, we promise! Look,”

Without giving him a chance, Shachi grabbed the bag and started to pull out some of the tissue paper stuffed carelessly inside. Now he was covered in trash and even more confusion in what they were trying to accomplish, a black fleece blanket breaking through it all as it hung in front of his face.

“It’s a blanket! You always complained of falling asleep on the couch. So, we figured we would get you something in case you kept doing it.”

“So, you don’t freeze to death.” Penguin added.

Law grabbed it in both hands, the other two looking accomplished as his eyebrows relaxed at the gift. He was appreciative of the things his friends did for him and that they remembered the complaints he made in passing. It was a small gesture that reminded him of how much they paid attention.

As if on cue, his phone buzzed him back to reality and he searched for a show of said appreciation past a hum.

“Oh, thanks. I feel bad for not getting you something.”

He punctuated his statement with a nervous laugh, putting the blanket back into the bag. Law was making it a conscious task to focus on his expressions, not wanting to be so obviously caught off guard by the offering.

“It’s okay, you can always pay tired residents back in beer.” Shachi declared triumphantly and Penguin chuckled at this, neither of them noticing Law tighten his grip on the plastic.

It was in those sorts of comments he realized the reminders of his arms-length relationship with people who so obviously cared for him. It wasn’t unusual that alcohol surrounded their socialization at times – being young and in a stressful job were just two things that made it easy to do so.

But now, such things were a tug on the curtain he hid his problems behind.

“Er, It’s a good thing Christmas is soon, anyways.”

Law winced as he hurt his own feelings. He had avoided going down that route in his mind for many reasons, and he regretted how his desire to pivot past alcohol talk only meant he stepped on a different nail.

“And, well. Maybe I’ve thought about cutting down on alcohol anyways.” He muttered, putting the bag on the ground, and sinking back into his laptop. Law needed something, anything to distract from the ache forming in his chest.

“Really?” Penguin asked, a teasing inflection to his question.

“You, Law? Law Trafalgar? Are you sure you haven’t been replaced with a clone?” Shachi added, the two of them standing closer to Law as they inspected him closely.

Suddenly, there was renewed interest in the topic, and it wasn’t lost on Law why that was. Of any of them, he was the one who did most of the drinking when they went out despite never suggesting it. It had become a running joke among them that he would drink enough for Bepo who always volunteered to be a designated driver. 

The unconscious associations were there, no matter how much he wanted otherwise.

“You guys are doctors, you know. You probably shouldn’t drink so much anyways.” Law added, hoping to end the conversation as it was and being met with a few more hums before he heard another voice cut in.

“Hey, he’s right. We ARE doctors, you two.”

Bepo grabbed Penguin and Sachi’s collars away from further scrutinizing Law’s face, the two of them grunting helplessly against their taller friends grasp.

“Ack! Sorry, we’re kidding!” Shachi said with a flail. They sighed as Bepo released them, brushing themselves off as they straightened out their coats. Law maintained nonchalance at the ruckus next to him, the mood shifting slightly in his favor as they both seemed relieved Bepo didn’t go any further.

“Besides, you’re probably right. I’m striking out on the ‘meeting girls at bars’ front anyways. I bet they all know my name and face at this point.”

“Oooh, I wish I had a girlfriend. Then going shopping for Christmas gifts would mean something.”

As soon as it had come, the two of them were back on a different subject and completely past prying further into his suggestion. Law watched from behind his screen as they walked out of the room, whining more about single life, and giving him a chance to breathe out.

He looked over at Bepo who was looking at his pager now, probably getting a call to handle whatever task Marco couldn’t be bothered to and instead, pawning it off onto him. It was in that moment Law realized how easily the concessions to the idea of his cutting back had come, his friends giving their usual jokes before accepting it.

Even if it was only half true – cutting back was what he was doing, after all – he couldn’t help but feel a bit of hope at his own ability to open up to them. Law flinched as Bepo looked back at him, aware now at how long he’d been staring at his friend and how silly he felt for being touched to that extent.

“Um. Hey, thanks. Sorry about that.”

Bepo raised his eyebrows before smiling at Law, as if realizing his surprise and the actual thing he was being thanked for. Law turned back to the computer now, his work long done but not wanting to elaborate on his appreciation. The implications hung in the air for a moment before Bepo left to go attend to his busines, leaving Law with a blanket that he suddenly felt indebted to.

_They won’t judge you._

Law scrambled to grab his phone as there was another buzz next to his chest, the vibrations pulsing against his already racing heartbeat and restarting it back to normal. There was another string of messages from Luffy and Law decided he probably shouldn’t guess who else could possibly be texting him.

**Luffy (11:03): Really? Did you sleep okay?**

Law scrolled down through another series of text messages of Luffy talking about how late he stayed up and how much he hated that he still had to work. The question came and went in their text thread and he felt a tinge of guilt for being unable to answer it at that moment. He thought to send another text to explain himself before the beeping of his own pager rang on his hip.

**Luffy (11:15): Btw what’s your favorite color?**

He paused as he read the last text Luffy sent him. Of all of the things they talked about, simple ‘getting to know you’ things hadn’t ever come up in their conversations.

**Black**

Law looked down at the blanket, his scrubs, and thought back to his coat before realizing that Luffy would probably find something amusing about that fact. The buzzing by his hipbone intensified as he looked at the gift bag again, typed out a quick response and put the phone back into his pocket.

**Me (11:17): Red**

\-----

“Torao, I’ve got a question.”

7 pm on the dot. It was like a carriage turning back into a pumpkin in the way that Luffy found his voice after the meetings – turning all of the bouncing thoughts in his head onto Law the minute they walked out. Luffy enjoyed texting him, this Law could tell in their distant conversations during the day, but he always had a focus for trapping him in the intermission after the meetings.

Cornered prey can’t run, he mused.

Law gave a questioning hum to Luffy’s question as they stepped outside, Zoro trailing behind them momentarily before catching up to walk in line. He didn’t seem at all interested in the conversation – an attitude that wasn’t new and Law was inclined to think was his regular demeanor.

“What are you doing for Christmas?”

Law grimaced at the topic that was now torturing him for the second time today. He had volunteered himself to work for Christmas Eve through New Years after the conversation he had with his colleagues reminded him to find a busying task. For the years since his family died, the first Christmas was spent with Doflamingo in one he hoped to eventually forget.

And the rest were spent with Cora. The man was always trying to bring him some kind of gift and Christmas cheer, even when the day was one he would have preferred to spend at the bottom of bottle. His efforts to make the holiday special were the only reasons Law hadn’t completely sworn off of the idea of celebrating it at all.

Without him, it was just his thoughts to keep him company.

The dive headfirst into the long avoided reality of his solitary holidays and how little he wanted to face them sober was sinking in heavily as he watched his footsteps. Law could feel the inkling of anxiety start in his chest and he was grateful for therapy at least giving him the chance to recognize when it was starting.

Small victories.

The silence continued for a moment before Luffy crossed into Law’s path and stood in front of him. It was a maneuver that nearly made him lose his balance when he was faced with the small roadblock. Standing on the sidewalk, Law fidgeted awkwardly at the intense stare as Luffy studied his face.

“What?”

“You stopped talking again.” Luffy said, his blunt statement an ambiguous call back to their earlier conversation.

“Sorry,” Law murmured his apology with a glance away, “I volunteered to work through New Year’s. I won’t be available for any of those days.”

That answer seemed worse than not saying anything at all. Luffy’s eyes widened, his eyebrows raised with his mouth hung open as he looked at Law with complete shock. It was as if he was the craziest person on the planet for working during the holidays.

“Volunteered?! Wow, you’re weird.”

At the sound of an overly gracious throat clearing, Luffy turned around to see Zoro standing by a mailbox a few steps ahead and looking back at them with an impatient stare.

“I’d love to keep going if you guys are finished. I want to get there before Franky’s fills up.”

Law welcomed the call to action and gave Luffy a small tap on the arm, tilting his head upwards to further emphasize his point. Luffy stayed planted firmly in the spot for a moment, seemingly unconvinced that they had finished speaking before turning on his heels and continuing their walk down the street to catch up.

“Why did you want to know?” He asked, the confusion on Luffy’s face a reminder of Luffy’s ever branching attention span and Law’s need to direct it back.

“Christmas?”

“Oh, right! Well, we’re having a party!” Luffy exclaimed, putting his arm out towards Zoro as he presented the news with a flourish. A hardly enthusiastic Zoro looked his way with the announcement and nodded for emphasis.

“And I didn’t know if you had any plans. You didn’t mention it during the meeting, anyways. I know everyone always does stuff – traditions or something, right?”

There was a quick look Law’s way as he asked the question, a glance that wanted him to confirm or deny if that actually WAS something and returning to his speech when Law nodded in agreement.

“I never really did those but this year, I was going to make some new ones with my brothers! But Sabo has to work and – and, well, anyways, I’m going to be at Franky’s that night. So, I thought you could come.”

Law blinked for a moment as he absorbed the spill of information. Luffy was undeterred by the news of his work plans and decided to explain the party anyways. He began talking animatedly about what they were going to be doing between eating food that Sanji would make for them and karaoke at Franky’s bar.

As they reached the corner that was the halfway point between his apartment and the community center, Law felt a shiver on his arm as he was being watched. Luffy was obviously waiting for an answer to his party pitch.

His expectant stare made Law entertain the idea of walking into the cross traffic.

“If I’m not busy with work, I’ll come by, okay?” Law said, shuffling his hands into his pockets as Luffy smiled at him – the flimsy RSVP enough to return his good mood. Law tried to take a moment to watch the traffic lights for a chance to cross.

“Red is a weird favorite color for a doctor.”

Luffy refused to let him. Law looked back at the teen who didn’t notice the gravity of his statement, grin wide and big as he got Law’s attention back. While he didn’t quite care if anyone knew those things about him, it was the idea that Luffy thought enough about his panicked answer to comment that made his heartbeat rise.

“Red? That’s like blood, you know.” Zoro said with a nip from his flask, giving Law a more than suspicious look while that only flustered Law further.

“Hey – okay, wait. I only said red because – oh thank god.” Law stammered through his excuse as he saw the cross signal come on. Grabbing Luffy’s wrist, he ushered them across the street while the teen dissolved into a fit of laughter at his reaction and Law furrowed his eyebrows at how easily he had been beat.

Law thought he had very little buttons yet Luffy knew how to find them all.

\------

Once he got home, Law felt like he could collapse out of sheer exhaustion as he turned the light on. On the table next to the door, he could see the familiar blue sheet that held a prescription given to him by Robin the last time that they talked.

SERTRALINE – 25 mg

A prescription felt like a nail in the coffin of his denial, one he spent five years trying to stave off any and all symptoms of how poorly the event had affected him.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Of course, he wasn’t surprised by the diagnosis by any means.

It was only for a week and then they would up the dosage. He talked about how little he had slept in the past week and how frequent the nightmares were getting, and Robin suggested it could help. They agreed to try it in his treatment plan and Law couldn’t help but think of how the tables had turned.

If pills could have solved his problems before, he wouldn’t be here, would he?

Putting his cynicism aside, Law planned to go to the pharmacy on his next day off. He peeled off the layers of his outerwear and his phone vibrated in his pocket again. Luffy was probably texting him in between whatever grilled meat he could find, an image that softened the otherwise dreary end to his evening as he sat down.

Of all things he thought he would do tonight, defending himself against an accusation of being a murderer wasn’t one of them. Luffy was more than entertained by the fact that he even had to do it.

At least someone had fun.

Though, he couldn't deny the teen was able to get under his skin in a way that few people had in recent years, the effects evident in the way Law reacted to him. How quickly Luffy had molded himself into his life and made a home for himself in his influence.

And Law would be lying if he said he hated the squatter. In fact, he might welcome it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, everyone! Sorry that this is so late haha, I hoped to get this done earlier today but life had other plans. For anyone curious, looks like I don't have COVID and the quarantine was all good. At least a healthy start to the new year and I'm grateful for that. ( ◜‿◝ )♡
> 
> Thanks for reading, commenting, kudos and the like! The interactions between these nerds are going to only get better from here so I hope everyone is excited.


	14. Sunny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor note: I changed the last few lines of the last chapter (as of 01/07/20) because of this chapter. Everything is still mostly the same, I just need Law to realize a few things a little bit later on. Feel free to reread but it doesn't change anything that's happened so far, he just doesn't reach any new conclusions as previously stated.
> 
> Anyways, onto to the chapter! It's a bit of a long one.
> 
> cw: panic attack description

“Do you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

“Um, no. that’s okay.” Law shook his head as he was handed the paper bag, receipts hanging from the outside in a display he felt helped conceal his shame yet show it more. Walking away from the counter, Law walked through the aisles as he tore into the bag and pulled out the orange container.

SERTRALINE – 50 mg

Robin upped the dosage, their first week of using the drug seeming a success if his five hours of sleep every night was any indication. Still, looking at the bottle was a little comfort to the continued anxiety he was feeling, and how much she had stressed that finding the right dose would take time.

More trial and error with his psyche, then. Stuffing it into the pocket of his yellow hoodie, Law walked out into the street and squinted at the light that assaulted him.

Since when he had come to dislike sunny days was a date likely found in the last five years.

Law crumbled the paper bag in his hands as he walked out onto the corner. The sun had its hands in everything and stretched along the streets, bright and intrusive as it breathed life into Dressrosa. Checking his phone, he looked at the large one and fifty staring back at him with his phone background in view.

No texts.

After more than two weeks of constant communication, Law wouldn’t deny he’d come to expect to see his lock screen full of notifications. Though, why it bothered him that he hadn’t heard from Luffy all morning was another story completely outside of habit.

Putting his phone away, he decided that his first day off in weeks didn’t need to be full of conversations to distract from his errands for the day. The signal to cross flashed white and Law put his phone back in his pocket, taking care to not disturb the pill bottle he wanted desperately to ignore until he got home.

First difficult task down, one more to go.

Once he reached the opposite corner, Law looked around at the street signs until he saw a multi-colored sign ahead that showed he was on the right track. He bit into his lip as he walked past it, the feeling not unlike ignoring an old acquaintance of his, one that he committed to memory while filling the rest of the space with whatever he could spike a coffee with.

Walking down the stairs, Law held fast to the railing as he tried to put a lid on his apprehension in the descent. The cover of the transit station washed over him with an air of grounding familiarity that he breathed in quietly as he swiped his farecard. Listening to the disorder of train cars and groups walking through him, Law reasoned with himself in a series of passing thoughts.

It had been two months now.

Two months of answers he couldn’t get from a text message.

He would be okay.

Whether or not he was trying to convince himself or the voice in his head was still yet to be seen. There was an impending sense of alarm that weighed on every step Law took towards the bench before sitting. He hadn’t been to La Corrida since the accident yet Doflamingo had done little to reach out to him, an observation that left him both relieved and confused.

Maybe nothing had come to light about his involvement with Cora’s death, and going to the bar would be seen as a friendly exchange of information.

Still, he knew enough about Doflamingo’s schedule to know he wasn’t there on Sundays. Just one in a series of precautions Law chose to take for his own good. Taking in the sounds, he watched the busy platform as the incoming and outgoing crowds shifted among themselves.

“Torao!”

Law turned towards the voice as it caught his attention immediately, eyes searching the forming crowd ahead. He didn’t see the usual straw hat that came bounding his way, hanging along that nickname in an association he had come to appreciate seeing despite his own outward protests. Law squinted as the confusion set in, the crowd thinning without him catching sight of the teen.

“Right here.”

He jumped at the evidence of a warm body behind him, Luffy leaning into his shoulder and far more into his personal space than he expected. Law noticed the black hair sliding past his jacket and realized the hat was now hanging on the back of Luffy’s neck, sitting above the hood of his red sweater and usual shorts. 

“Hey. Sorry. I didn’t notice you without your hat.”

Law gestured to the black hair tucked under his nose, a faint floral smell only making him more aware of the closed distance between them and he pulled his body back unconsciously.

“Oh,” Luffy grazed a hand on his back and grinned as if remembering what a standout item it was,  
“Have you been here long?”

“No, I just sat down. What are you doing here?” Law asked, scanning for the screen behind Luffy as he noticed the empty platform ahead. The screen passed through various other schedules before the information flashed on the screen.

SUN, DEC 20th

2:10 PM

It was then he saw the time and noticed that the train still hadn’t showed.

La Corrida would be open soon. Hopefully, he would get to talk to a bartender or two before one of Doflamingo’s chief assistants came to do their daily pickups from the safe. The idea of potentially running into them was ramping up his heartbeat more and he sighed heavily at the pressure in his chest.

“Going to visit my brother, I haven’t seen him in a while.” Luffy said, shifting his attention back to the train area, “You?”

“Oh, I’m –” Law paused as he rethought telling Luffy he was going to a bar, “Going to go see some if I can get some information on an old friend.”

No need to mention the dead part.

Luffy had passed the point of listening to him as he looked around the transit station, focused as if taking in every piece of the area before he looked up at the screen behind him. It looked like both of them were waiting for a train and Luffy’s was just as late.

“Are you looking for something?”

Law tilted his head to try and catch Luffy’s attention, seeing the distraction evident in his gaze as the eyes now on him went unnoticed. Luffy’s brows were raised as he shifted on the bench, a flash of alarm on his face before his expression softened at the sounds of an approaching train.

“Oh, Torao. I gotta go.”

**_“Route A1…West District/Southtown…”_ **

The message repeated on the intercom above and Law absorbed the sounds as he was brought back to the bench. He got up from the bench and shifted awkwardly as Luffy stood ahead of him.

“Sorry!”

“Sorry.”

Standing together for a moment, Law blinked as the restlessness that Luffy displayed made more sense now.

“Wait, are you going out to West District?”

Law could see the gears working in Luffy’s mind as the implication of the question dawned on him and his eyes widened.

“Yup! Wait, we’re going the same way?”

Luffy was grinning now as the newfound conclusion settled in, putting his hand on Law’s shoulder and leaning onto him as he continued.

“I never get to take the train with someone! Oh, do you wanna come with me? I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.” He moved closer to Law, eyes shining with excitement as if planning their entire day together. Law felt the hesitation creep onto him as he thought of his tasks he had to do today, and how easily lost time hanging out with the teen if their previous encounters held true.

Besides, Luffy was enough to handle on his own, he couldn’t imagine what it was like to deal with someone blood related to him. Law combed his mind for a reasonable refusal until he heard the robotic sounds pass over the intercom again.

**_“Please step away from the yellow line…”_ **

“Shit –”

Law cursed under his breath as he ran towards the train with Luffy in tow, the two of them barely making it through before they could hear the clumsy shuffle of the doors behind them. Law leaned against the door as his heart pounded in his chest, the small run they had to do from the bench not nearly strenuous enough for him to feel this way and the reaction only made him feel worse.

The pressure in his chest was distracting enough that he couldn’t feel the tapping on his shoulder.

“Wanna go sit down?”

Luffy was under him again, gaze fixed on his face in his usual effort to read the little things in between the short answers Law gave him. It was a habit that Law was able to predict in their time spent together, and he attempted to straighten his expression as their faces met.

A minute of silence passed before Luffy grabbed his hand, making Law’s choice for him as he led the two of them to a set of empty seats in the back of the train.

Law took the seat next to Luffy, sighing as the thumping against his ribs subsided and he could take a moment to breathe again. The sounds of the train sliding over the rails gave Law a much needed background noise to focus on. He knew if he thought too much about his destination, his rejection of the idea would overtake the courage he worked up to try it in the first place.

And with the text messages still a lingering unknown variable, this was his only shot.

He turned over to Luffy who was now poking through his phone, idly scrolling on a phone game with his other hand twisting around a piece of fabric. Looking at him, Law was struck by just how different it was seeing Luffy without the hat blocking his view from the top.

From this angle, he could see his bangs sitting lazily above those eyes that cornered him when he got too quiet for Luffy’s tastes, long and wild against his forehead. The scar under his eye was more visible now, and with it, Law could see the dark circles underneath that contrasted against Luffy’s tanned skin usually tinged pink from the cold.

Law was oblivious to how long he had been staring, now taking in the sight of Luffy’s face that he only saw in the times they were face to face. It did make sense that Luffy was as wild looking as he acted at times.

It was likely Luffy barely slept as he saw it as nothing else but an obstacle to what he wanted to do. After all, they had texted until midnight when he asked Law to record an episode of Sora, Warrior of the Sea and talk about it. Law swallowed awkwardly as he thought about how he hadn’t told Luffy that he had been a huge fan of the cartoon as a kid, last night’s viewing only reinvigorating such fond enjoyment.

The episode was so stressful too. Germa 66 had almost succeeded destroying Sora’s robot companion – Kaiyo – as the ever troublesome Stealth Black distracted him with his invisibility powers and Electric Blue tried to shock his circuitry to oblivion. There were so many twists and turns in that episode he didn’t know where to start. Law could feel the excitement push through his fingertips, curling them inwards as the desire to talk about it took hold.

Luffy disappeared on him before they could even finish watching, it wasn’t weird to mention it.

“Luffy,” Law began, shifting in his seat as he segued into the topic, “I finished watching that episode of Sora last night. Like you asked me to, anyways. Um, did…you finish it?”

Luffy looked up at him, blinking owlishly at Law as he registered the jumbled question.

“Sora? Yeah, I did. I just forgot to text you back last night. Why?”

“Oh, okay. Cool.”

There was silence as Law put a hand to his ear, playing absentmindedly with his earrings as he tried to parse though the series of questions he had bouncing around in his head. Namely, what did he think of the scene where Kaiyo stopped working and Sora was crying, or the scene –

“Did you not like it?” Luffy slid a hand through his bangs in embarrassment, “Haha, sorry! I thought it would be fun.”

Law put his palms out, shaking them quickly as he realized the implication of his non-answer.

“No, no, it’s fine. I didn’t mind it. It wasn’t bad. Uh, I just wanted to hear your thoughts on the part after the fight scene. Right after he broke through Electric Blue’s cape shield. You know, cause, you seemed really interested in it.”

Reel it in, Law.

Luffy hummed quizzically as he closed his eyes, deep in thought while he recalled exactly what it was Law was referencing and gasping as the scene seemed to materialize.

“Oh! You mean when Kaiyo came back to life and gave that stupid Electric Blue the final hit that broke through?! That was so cool! Oh, man. I wish I had some kind of cool suit like that –”

Law watched as Luffy only got more animated as he recounted the episode and all thoughts after it, hands waving around to emphasize his points as he dove deeper into it. There was a slight feeling of regret as he realized the small crowd of people on the train could hear their conversation, his answers to Luffy’s questions towing the line between specific and uninterested despite introducing the topic.

It wasn’t like he was the only fan, right?

Their conversation soon faded the peanut gallery into the background as Luffy kept talking. Holding his own against the teen when it came to unbridled energy and conversations was an exercise in futility and Law knew. Somewhere in their chat, it had pivoted to questions about exactly what kind of powers one would want if they could be a superhuman.

“I guess it would be nice to teleport. No reason to take the train or walk to work. Oh, or something that made operating on people not a five hour ordeal. Just cut them up and put them together in minutes.”

Luffy stared at him before he sputtered into a laugh, a reaction that only embarrassed him as he rethought his answer.

“Wait, what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, it’s just,” Luffy was snickering as he looked at Law with an expression that appeared to be less mocking and more endearing, “you talk about work a lot. So, it makes sense that even your fictional life is about it too.”

“Oh, well excuse me for taking pride in my skills.” Law scoffed, not nearly as wounded by Luffy’s observation as he wanted the teen to believe. He hadn’t even noticed just how focused a lot of their talks were about his work until he saw how frequently Luffy asked him to explain medical terminology.

Now, he was faced with coming up with anything past small talk.

Somehow, it was easier with Luffy. He would dare to say more interesting when they could talk face to face, texting not having the same kind of friendly banter that he could expect from staggered conversations. As Luffy had gone on to give his own answer – being made of rubber and no, he promised, it was cooler than it sounded – it dawned on Law, this was the first time they had ever spoken in person outside of the small post-group walks.

And even now, it was as if they had always talked this way. Luffy, much like a malleable object, had managed to fit himself in once more.

It would make sense that he would pick rubber, wouldn’t it?

He didn’t seem deterred in the least that Law wasn’t answering him, instead going through his phone as he looked for reference materials for the assorted “rubber man” moves he could talk about. Clearly, this was something Luffy had thought of before. Law let his eyes wander from Luffy’s face, aware now of how strange he felt staring and instead looking down at the ground.

It was then saw the source of fabric that Luffy had been messing with only moments ago. He had brought a tote bag with him, the black color making it easy to see the red ‘A’ printed on the front. Idly scanning the floor, Law passed over a tinge of green next to Luffy’s sandals and found himself immediately drawn to it again. Upon further observation, it was a bottleneck with a cork stuffed into the top.

Sake. Probably Flower Hill, they prefer corks to a twist top bottle. Judging from the size of the lip, it was a 750 ml bottle. In other words, a bottle far too big for someone as small as Luffy.

Wait.

Law grimaced as he realized he had the world’s worst superpower. Suddenly, teleportation seemed helpful for how quickly he’d reached the conclusion. Luffy was still tapping into his phone, ignorant of the fact that he hadn’t concealed the bottle nearly as well as he’d thought.

Whether or not he should say anything was a choice he vacillated between before a screen was pressed in view, the photo of a balloon with Luffy’s head scrawled poorly on the top.

“See, I would be able to take a deep breath, and then puff up like a blowfish,” Luffy emphasized this point with a puff of his cheeks, “It would be really good for defense!”

The drawing helped little for the imagined utility of the move, but Law had long passed trying to make sense of his friend’s mind. As the train moved, he could hear the sounds of the glass sliding over the fabric and the smiley, clueless look on Luffy’s face made his chest tighten.

“Hey, um,” Law leaned on the seat as the teen stared at him with wide-eyed curiosity, a reaction likely brought on as he noticed how little he had spoken since now.

“Are you – is everything okay?”

Law never thought he would be on the asking end of that question, really. And judging from the confusion on the face across from him, neither had Luffy. There was a moment of shock in his expression before Law pointed at the bag next to his foot, bringing his attention to the bottleneck sticking out.

“Oh,” Luffy reached down, laughing sheepishly as he stuffed the bottle back into the bag, “It’s not for me.”

He turned back to Law and lifted the bag back into his lap, clutching the bottle close to his chest.

“Don’t worry.”

Luffy gave him that big smile of his and Law sighed at the relief that quickly overtook the tightness, whatever worries he had falling quickly to the wayside. Perhaps it was the left over fears of his own tumble from sobriety, but Luffy seemed too far in his own abstinence that it seemed worse if he started again.

Or at least, that was the most reasonable explanation for his concern.

The two of them sat together, Luffy’s fingers running this way and that over the neck of the bottle. It was obvious the mood had shifted between them as Law’s question had more implications than he thought. He realized it was the second time he had managed to step on a landmine with Luffy, sensing a pattern in his questions and what his prying had gotten him.

The least he could do was change the subject.

“Well, anyways,” Law rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, “I figure I’ll ask you since I can’t be the only one. Do YOU have a favorite color?”

Luffy processed the ordinary question with a knowing grin, the topic having not come back up again since they spoke about it. Clearly the wound of Luffy’s tease was still fresh under Law’s skin.

“Oh, easy. All of them.”

Law furrowed his brows at the answer, tucking his chin into his hand as he leaned onto his elbows.

“You’re probably someone who asks for more wishes from a genie too, huh?”

The gasp Luffy gave was nothing short of incredulous.

“It’s a good answer! And you never told me I couldn’t choose all of them.” He said, firmly sticking to his logic.

“It’s implied, isn’t it?” Law shot back – brows now raised in a smug display that only got him a push on the shoulder from Luffy. He would feel bad if he weren’t already out for payback.

Law felt his shoulders relax as Luffy exchanged little jokes with him, the tense moment passing without a care and Luffy seemingly back to his old self.

Eyeing the coin around Luffy’s neck, his unanswered question hung in the air.

\----

“And then I asked if I could get fourths but, Sanji was already pushing me out of the door.”

Law nodded as he kept his hands in his hoodie pocket, the various things in his pockets crawling over each other as they walked. They were four blocks away from the bar and the anticipation was settling in as they stood at the corner.

The intersection brought with it a gnawing ache as he thought of how right this all felt and how much he wished to be back in it much to his own chagrin. Days of being on the train, standing at the corner daydreaming of the numb of alcohol on his tongue, nothing to focus on but returning to that familiar burn in his chest.

God, it was incredible to just think about.

“Torao? Are you listening?”

He wasn’t, but Law couldn’t let Luffy that if he didn’t want to let on why that was. Why, the look he was getting only dragged forward a sense of guilt.

His travel companion was none the wiser of his distracted thoughts, looking around the street where they were as he was coming along for the ride. It seemed like they were going the same way as Luffy stuck close to him with each turn.

“Sorry, I just want to make sure I don’t get lost. Um, where is it you’re going again?”

Law swallowed as they crossed another block, the little business signs that flanked La Corrida in view and the looming connections on the horizon. There weren’t many opportunities for a different explanation outside of telling Luffy the truth and that was the least attractive option.

They weren’t that close.

“Oh, my brother isn’t far from here, actually. Somewhere…” Luffy trailed off as he looked for the restaurant on the corner a few doors down from La Corrida, “over there. Take a right, and then a few more blocks down.”

So, they could separate at the next street.

It would be easy enough to let Luffy get ahead of him with little attention towards his actual destination. As they crossed, Law could see the pink in the windows, his throat tightening as the sign straightened in his periphery.

He had been here hundreds of times before.

The thought convinced him little as the idle sounds of the city shifted into each other, stimuli rising in a fever pitch that crashed into him without mercy.

Law gasped in an attempt to catch the air that was escaping his lungs with each step.

Nothing was different.

“But Zoro said –”

Law screwed his eyes shut, both in an attempt to clear his mind of the pink that was now encompassing his thoughts and making it impossible to breathe.

_How long has Luffy been telling this story?_

“And I – Oi –”

He had to stop.

When the thought had reached his legs, Law couldn’t say.

The ringing in his ears had become the only sound that came in clearly, harsh and disorienting as he opened his eyes again and tried to gather his senses.

Something was wrong.

“– ao!”

_Something IS wrong._

Law faltered through the double vision long enough to find a wall to lean against, his ribs constricting into a shallow mess around his lungs.

_When did he stop talking?_

The thoughts in his head were coming in a staccato stream, overwhelmed by the rest of his body that was only screaming alarm in his veins

"Are –"

_He hadn’t, had he?_

Law put a hand to his chest and heaved at the thundering pulse that met his fingertip.

Grazed his fingers along his ribs. He needed something.

Evidence.

Where –

_Where –_

As his fingertips sunk into skin, it made little difference to the sweat pooling on his forehead.

“–r lunch.”

Or to the weakness that buckled his knees as he crawled out of the sidewalk.

_Fuck._

Law felt his surroundings become white noise as he found himself on the ground, a hand clutching desperately into the scar tissue.

_Nothing is working._

"Cold tod –"

A poor security blanket this was.

_Can’t breathe._

“– nice outside, I think.”

Law kept his hand tight on the balled fabric around his fingers, a ball of nerves under his own touch.

“I like it, when it’s sunny like this.”

_Some fucking help that medication is._

“…What?”

His throat was dry, tongue straining around the response as it cracked through the cloud swallowing his awareness. Leaning back, Law kept his eyes closed as the cold brick on his back exchanged heat with the blood rushing under his skin, shut eyes fixed towards the sky.

“The light. It makes everything really warm.”

Law closed his mouth as the biting air dried out whatever moisture he had left, the need to gulp down air becoming a secondary thought as the rigidity in his lungs subsided.

“I…guess…”

“It feels nice. Summer is my favorite season if I had to pick.”

Law could pinpoint the location of the voice through the static that formed in his surroundings, eyes opening between sweat and the white spots.

Luffy was sitting next to him.

Still talking.

Still here despite the fact that he had lost the last several minutes to adrenaline and fear.

“…I’d pick fall, maybe...”

He squinted as he thought over the answer. It was hard to say, too many things he wanted to forget happened in that season.

“...Less hot.”

But there were good things too, his birthday being one. His parents’ and sister’s being another. They always joked Law was a bit of a black sheep for how his day fell three weeks from the rest of the Trafalgars, and he always wondered if it was an omen for what happened.

Perhaps now wasn’t the time to think of it.

There was a small laugh next to him as Luffy heard his answer, the distance between their bodies small as they sat in the dark alley.

“That’s weird. You’re always complaining about the cold.” Luffy was tilting his feet backwards and forwards, sandals sat close to Law’s boot.

“I prefer it to the heat.” Law muttered, finding his voice among the hormones still dialing up his nerves.

“Aren’t you from Dressrosa?”

“No, a northern town. Flevance. Moved here when I was thirteen.” Law loosened his grip on the sweat soaked fabric, moisture still lingering on his palm as he put his hands into his lap.

“Oh, I’m not from here either.” Luffy said plainly, back against the brick and staring at the same sliver of sky Law had fixed on in his return to baseline.

“I guess we’re the same then.”

They sat in silence, the sounds of cars, people, and the wind passing next to them in a medley of sounds that brought a sense of reality back. Law watched the shadow of his chest rising and falling under the gaze at the sky, waiting patiently for his mouth and brain to work together again.

“…Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Are you feeling better, Torao?”

Law sighed. Somehow the task of one of them checking in on the other was more in Luffy’s wheelhouse than his own.

“A little.” He said, blinking as he caught sight of orange between the blue, the prescription bottle sitting in plain view between Luffy’s fingers.

“Is this yours?”

It took everything in Law to not snatch the item out of Luffy’s hands, tattooed fingers grasping the plastic and ignoring the shuffle of pills as they went right back into the pocket.

“Thanks.” He said quietly, not meeting Luffy’s face even though he knew he was being watched.

Carefully, as Luffy always had and would continue to do.

There was another moment of silence before he heard the shuffle of Luffy’s sweater against the brick, the teen standing over him and putting a hand into view in an offer to help him up.

“Oh, no. Um, I’m just going to be here for a minute.”

Law tried to put together a sentence that seemed the least alarming, his handiwork undone as Luffy grabbed his hands from his lap and lifted him up anyways. The sudden movement nearly made both of them fall over as the momentum carried them into the street, people passing by making sounds of surprise as they nearly collided.

“Oi!” Law called out to him, an annoyed sound that went ignored by Luffy who was holding his arm, walking him towards the end of the block with little notice of the looks they were getting.

“You’ll feel better if you sit down somewhere. Well, somewhere that isn’t an alley.” Luffy carried his straightforward color logic into his kidnapping, sitting them down at a metal bench on the corner.

The metal was cold against Law’s skin, a temperature difference to the sun blanketing the pair as the late afternoon sun still just as prominent as before. The touch of the sunlight was gentle now, the feeling helping him to find his own bearings amongst the chaos from moments ago.

It was nice.

“Good, huh?”

Law tensed slightly as Luffy beamed at him, feeling victorious in his scene change and how easily the taller man had accepted it. Law just gave a hum of acknowledgement before turning back to the street, watching the cars go by.

“Well, I have to go,” Luffy stood up, stretching his arms out with the tote bag still tight in his grasp, “but you’ll be okay. And if not, you'll tell me. Right, Torao?”

Law merely nodded in response, feeling a mix of awkward and thankful as Luffy snickered triumphantly before going off on his way. He could feel the sensations on his skin spreading now, heat spilling into areas tucked under the thick layers and whether or not it was due to the sunbathing was an answer he already knew.

It had been a while since he had a panic attack, the feeling crept on him so quickly that he couldn’t identify it when it came. Luffy being there hadn’t been as bad as he hoped, the presence of another person helpful for the crawl back from the brink.

Sliding his hands into the hoodie pocket, Law played with the prescription bottle between his fingers.

From where he sat, he could see the straw hat in the distance before it disappeared behind a building. The warmth still lingered long after he lost sight of the teen.

A sunny day or two wasn’t all bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so long and I had way too much fun with some of their little moments. I love these two so much my goodness. Thanks for your patience, I hope you appreciate it and hopefully the panic attack scene wasn't too hard to follow. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, commenting, bookmarking and the like! (灬º‿º灬)♡


	15. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I totally thought this chapter wouldn't be so long but damn it all if I didn't have to write out the interactions between Penguin and Shachi with Law. I love them and I absolutely believe they would always embarrass him in front of Luffy if they spoke more than 3 words a chapter LOL.
> 
> 5.6k words and I hope you enjoy all of them.

Law ran his fingers along the cup in his hand, one filled with the same stale coffee that he had been drinking despite how little it eased his exhaustion. Counting the speckles in the wallpaper, he thought about how much the plain hallways stuck out. A blank canvas that wouldn’t project anything, he thought. No associations, something he welcomed as making those kinds of emotional connections tended to backfire on him.

Now, even this made little things inside of him itch with anticipation.

Leaning back on the bench, he listened to the ticking of the clock as the wood dug into his back. Nothing about this spot was new, the difference in the first time he sat here being a distinct lack of straw poking into his periphery. It was a realization that made the moment on the bench feel lonely, a feeling that Law would have killed for when he ran out of that room initially.

What a difference a little time makes.

Law let himself space out a bit, the rhythmic clicks lulling his body to sleep. Why he had decided to work today was beyond him, the shifts he had coming up at the hospital were sure to drain him more than usual. Maybe there was a silver lining in the amount of time he could spend avoiding the solitary confines of his apartment. The next two weeks would be a test of his coping skills as Robin mentioned she would be out of town.

She said he could email or call, always being a step away from help and also offering him a colleague in case things really spiraled. Quite frankly, he expected more fear to take over the idea of the ladder being pulled up, an image of flailing helplessly in the water until he would be thrown a life preserver.

But instead, it wrestled with the comfort of being busy with work and new relationships that bit into his apprehension of the time to come. A lot of things had changed over the last few weeks.

He wasn’t exactly alone now, for starters.

His thoughts were interrupted as a small box was brought into view, the sight of red a shock to the system as it pushed away the fatigue. Seeing the small hand wrapped around it, Law wondered when he had missed the clumsy rhythm of sandals across tile, ones that told him when he would be face to face with that straw hat again. He grabbed the box and held it carefully.

“What’s this?”

Tilting the box this way and that, Law inspected the outside. The wrapping paper was twisted and crumpled around the box, a pattern that showed a lot of removal and straightening trials. Tape laid carefully in some spots and less so in others, it was obvious Luffy had put a lot of effort into properly wrapping it. He suppressed a tug on his lips as he ran a finger over the nametag.

FOR: TORAO

FROM: LUFFY

“For you! You’re working on Christmas, right?”

Law felt a breeze on his face as Luffy crossed his path and took a seat next to the bench, filling that space and cutting into the unnerving feeling previously held from sitting alone. The meeting had ended a few minutes ago and he got out first – a move that could have let him go at any time.

But he decided talking to Luffy about Sunday would be best.

The teen hadn’t mentioned anything in their texts, disappearing for the rest of the day after their emotional alley sit and returning the next day as if nothing changed.

It was a switch that had more questions than answers.

“Yeah, I am,”

The box felt heavy in his hands as he looked over the gift once more, realizing the implications of his acceptance.

“But, sorry, I shouldn’t take this.”

A default response, but one that Law meant more when it came to Luffy. The idea that he didn’t get him anything left a sour taste in his mouth. After Sunday, it was hard to continue telling himself how little he actually wanted their friendship. It was just enough to have someone who could let his armor crack in full, vulnerability something he didn’t practice regularly. It was nice to have someone take the reigns when he was unable to.

Anything more felt like taking advantage. Law tried to hand the box back and was met with resistance in the form of flat palms, Luffy immediately pushing back.

“You bought me food! Don’t worry about it.” the teen said, hands straight and firm against the wrapping.

Law hummed in annoyance, the familiar tightening of his eyebrows coming forward as he watched a little smile creep onto Luffy’s lips. It was almost, ALMOST enough to get Law to reconsider taking the gift, but the payback seemed uneven at best.

“No, listen. I did that cause I wanted to. You don’t have to buy me something.” He insisted, going to grab Luffy’s hand and being met with a handshake as the forced return was swiftly dodged.

“And I said you can have it.” Was all he got in response, the two of them now in a small gridlock on the bench.

Law narrowed his eyes at the gesture, patience wearing thin. Why was he fighting to return a gift to this extent and just how far would Luffy take it? He watched Luffy grow increasingly smug, toothy grin peeling across his face in victory as he looked up. Law made a sound that passed through resignation and annoyance as he put the box in his lap, paying little attention to the fact that Luffy was still holding his hand.

“Why are you giving me this?”

If he was going to take it, the least Luffy owed him was an explanation.

“Cause, you still deserve to have a nice Christmas. Even if you’re a crazy person.”

Law wanted to be upset but that shiny expression made it difficult. The reassurance of Luffy’s concern for him was apparent in the tease – even if it was one at the expense of his avoidance behaviors. He found himself at a loss, moved in a way that felt distinct from the gift he got from his friends. It was at this moment he remembered the stubborn handshake and loosened his grip on the hand.

“But,” As if anticipating it, Luffy returned the loose hold with a firm squeeze and pulled himself closer to Law, chin in his upper arm as their eyes met.

“If it makes you feel better, we can exchange gifts.”

Law should have expected it, his whole resistance was easily fixed by buying a gift and even he knew that. There was a lull in the conversation as they sat together, far too close for comfort even though the discomfort was lacking. Passing attendees drowned out in their staring match, Law’s eyes moving away so Luffy wouldn’t see the realization wash over him.

“Er – I’d prefer to not owe you anything.”

“So, if you get me something, we’re even.”

He listened as the lazy footsteps of the third member of their strange troupe walked past, green hair in view as it went towards the door. Law contained himself as he watched his only lifeline push on the lock bar.

“Oi, Zoro –”

His call was quickly met with a hand as Zoro turned around, unaffected by the pleading look he was getting.

“Not interested, sorry. Have fun you two.” And with that, he walked outside.

Law glared at the door, a muffled laugh against his shoulder as Luffy saw the defeat in his expression. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought this was planned from the start. Hand still in the others, Law untangled himself from the hold.

“Okay, let’s go!”

Luffy grabbed his hand, Law’s attempt to escape proved futile as he was taken down the hallway. An all too predictable exchange of exclamations rang out, Law saying something resembling resistance and Luffy merely outshining it.

“How do you even know the stores are open right now?” Law asked as they got outside, ignoring the ease at which he was letting himself be led. There were a few steps taken before Luffy paused at the bottom step, turning back to Law with a raised eyebrow in utter bewilderment.

“What do you mean? Everything’s open late for Christmas. You have been Christmas shopping before, right?”

Luffy’s tone was so matter-of-fact that Law actually felt offended, quietly taking his hand back as the heat migrated to his face. Such a straightforward attitude always proved lethal when he least expected it.

“Yes. I’m older than you, you know.” Law grumbled, focus now on his phone as he poked through the map application to search the area. The fact that he was even bothering to find a place for them to go was already a sign of his surrender. One he hoped Luffy wouldn’t see. 

Still, the curious stare he was getting might have already given him away.

Law paused his scrolling as he noticed a shopping center a few miles away, a distance that even he felt unreasonable for walking. Navigating to the website, he looked over the available shops and tried to parse through the things he knew of Luffy to determine their route.

He could see a bookstore among the lists. Well, Luffy liked comics and told him about a lot of his favorite series, some even piquing Law’s own interest. A novelty candy shop, Law wasn’t much of a fan of sweets, but it’s as good a gift as any. He should see if they had anything regional, his favorite candy surprisingly absent from most stores he went to after moving to Dressrosa.

If he liked it, then he was sure Luffy would too. Putting a hand to his face, Law pinched his goatee absently as he read the directory.

“Torao, I’m getting cold.” Luffy whined, leaning against the railing and blowing into his hands. Law turned his head up quickly, aware of just how long he had spent staring into his phone as the numb chill bit his nose. Cars passed by them in a pull to reality as Law abandoned his planning, the implications of the time spent catching up with him.

“There’s a place nearby. Too far to walk though, so we’ll just grab a taxi.” Law tried to keep his voice steady, turning away hide his embarrassment. Walking to the curb, he put his hand up in an attempt to catch one of the white cars.

“Wait!”

There was an involuntary grunt as Law felt his arm go straight back to his side, the force on his wrist firm as his hand hit the phone in his pocket. His other arm went up as he stumbled sideways in an attempt to balance himself. Looking back, he saw the pull coming from the teen who was now at his side in an instant.

“Wait.”

Luffy repeated himself again and Law could see the gaze go through him, eyes wide as Luffy stared into the road before their eyes were focused on one another. There was a passing moment of contemplation as Luffy parted his lips and closed them again, hesitation clear in the little movements before his expression shifted to a sheepish one.

Law just blinked, confusion mounting as they stood on the sidewalk. Just what had gotten into him?

“Um, sorry! I remembered, there’s one thing I want.” 

Luffy kept his hold on the taller man’s arm, a little squeeze signaling something Law couldn’t read as he continued.

“But the store is at the Dressrosa mall. The main one, closer to the square. We can get there on the subway, actually. If you don’t mind walking to the stop by the hospital.”

Law huffed as he tried to hide his annoyance at the wasted forethought, the cold a reminder of how long they’d been outside. Still, if Luffy knew what he wanted then it made things easier and it was hard to be upset with that.

“Sure, let’s go.”

“…Okay.”

He felt the grip loosen on his arm as Luffy smiled at him again, a sigh falling in either excitement or relief Law wasn’t sure. As they started towards the stop, Law tucked his hands back into his coat pocket to prevent any future harsh grabs.

The sounds of the city, hectic and compounding as they were, did little to thin the tension in the air.

Law snuck a glance at Luffy who was back to talking about the Christmas party, namely fantasizing about the special food Sanji promised him. It was a game that Law was certain couldn’t be good for him. Luffy was short on patience and even shorter on impulse control, Law learning that quickly when a text about what he was cooking for dinner went unanswered. 

Maybe it was in those impulses that Luffy had changed his mind.

\-----

“Sorry.”

Law mumbled apologetically as he bumped into the fourth stranger that evening, a pattern that seemed unlikely to end anytime soon. The sounds of Christmas pop played in the background – volume dwarfed by the chatter amongst the various groups. Navigating through the crowd, he quietly followed the straw hat ahead, staring at Luffy’s back in some sort of beacon to ignore the suffocating feeling.

Dense crowds had never been his favorite.

It was a fact that made his decision to follow Luffy all the more out of place for him. Similarities abound in the way that people rubbed shoulders, tight patterns of groups that made it easy to trap someone. Law looked up to make sure he was properly dodging a stroller – or a person too invested in a phone call – before catching a group of people looking at a Christmas-themed storefront.

He swallowed as the weight formed in his stomach, imagining every scenario he could think if he were actually inside of the shop and needed to leave. It was a clothing shop so, he could buy a pair of sunglasses, a hoodie that didn’t stand out too much.

“Oh!”

Wait for a family that was also leaving at the same time and sneak out behind them. If all else failed, he could just humor their questions. Not that his answers mattered, anyways. It was always either he cared too little or too much, whatever flavor of the day they wanted at the time.

“Let’s go in here.”

God, it had been years since he thought about this.

Law took deep breaths as he turned from the group, taking stock in his surroundings as he tried to ground himself. There was Christmas tree in the center of the foyer. String lights tied around the balcony railing, red and green between dark brown wood. Large makeshift ornaments, shiny against the fluorescent lighting and hanging with –

“ _Oof_ – ”

There was air escaping his lungs, bone hitting bone as Luffy’s shoulder ran right into his ribs and they folded into each other, the teen sinking into his chest in the harsh impact.

“Torao?”

Law squinted, a sharp inhale of air as he tried to reorient and ground himself once more. He felt the ghosting of hair against his nose. The warm body in his arms. The familiar scent of floral shampoo that now strung together with something sweet and warm that ate through the anxiety gathering in his chest.

_What was it?_

He blinked cautiously, the two of them forming a roadblock in the middle of the aisleway and drawing frustrated grumbles from the other mallgoers.

“Sorry, I was distracted. Where did you want to go?”

Just as soon as the feeling had come, it was gone when the teen walked across the aisle.

“There!”

He was pointing to windows covered with music decorations – posters and figurines placed next to large sale signs. It was the kind of reorientation that Law needed as he quietly followed behind, watching the bits of yellow and red disappear into the busy storefront with echoes of excited laughter coming back to him.

They weren’t here for him, after all.

Inside of the store, the inventory had a wider variety of items. The walls were stacked full of records sorted by year, older ones on higher shelves than the others. Mannequins were dressed in band shirts and large hats, plastic standees placed next to the long shelves that contained CDs and DVD’s mixed together, the most organization seen in the genre tags placed between each bucket.

The jazz music playing above all but cemented the store as some kind of music store. It was a choice he didn’t expect out of Luffy, surprise seeming to be the theme for the evening. Law scanned the shop, hoping to spot Luffy before anything more jumped out at him.

“Look!”

Too late.

He was face to face with a pair of large square sunglasses, thick orange rims doing little to hide the little creases around Luffy’s eyes as he smiled up at him. Luffy held out a plastic case, the cover art one he immediately recognized – a simple black bird logo that sat against a white background. 

“You’ve heard of Swallow Island?”

Luffy shrugged, pulling up the glasses to push the bangs from his eyes.

“A little. My brother really liked them, so I know a couple of songs. You mentioned that this was your favorite album. So, we can listen to it sometime.”

Law nodded, taking the CD in his hands as he thought of how they had come here for Luffy, yet he was still thinking of little things for them to share.

“And the sunglasses?”

“Oh, I thought they were fun. We’re doing karaoke on Friday and Brook says we should dress up.” Before Law can say anything else, he has a pair of purple sunglasses placed gingerly on his ears.

“And since you’re coming to our party, you need some too.”

Law tucked a finger under the hinges as he pushed the frames into his hair.

“If, you mean.”

Though, Luffy had all but made him promise he would go. The laugh he got in response only reinforced that point.

“I’m gonna see if they have the Sora movie soundtrack here.” He mused, leaving Law to sit with the case.

Looking at the CD, Law thought about how familiar it felt to shop with Luffy in the days he would be dragged to the mall with Cora. The older man asking him his opinion on this and that in a veiled attempt at figuring out his gift, and this one had been something Law insisted he didn’t need.

Turning the case over, his eyes went straight to the middle of the list as if conditioned to do so.

TRACK 07. DEVIL’S FRUIT

The words stirred something in Law as he let his mind wander. There was always a reason he didn’t pick this up, a soft guitar strumming played in his ears in a calm contrast to the music above.

And an unwelcome visitor in his head.

The song continued. Images of bookshelves stacked tall – an assortment of colors spread along its shelves. A voice he couldn’t decipher talking to him behind paper, an open book sitting in his lap with words that didn’t matter.

That wasn’t the important part, anyways.

Law squinted as the guitars muddied along with the images, all of it becoming an approximation of things yet he continued to let it play.

Maybe something would come of it.

He could hear the familiar sounds of the last verse, easy and melodic as his thoughts grew more uncoordinated, things fading to black in areas as the thread frayed at the edges.

It was strange how some memories stuck more than others.

“Law?”

Pulled from his thoughts, Law grimaced. He couldn’t mistake that voice from anywhere.

Turning towards the door of the shop, he noticed the black and teal coming towards him. The amusement on their faces was clear, even underneath the hats, and Law furrowed his brows in confusion as they greeted him.

“What are you doing here? I thought you hated shopping.” Penguin said, hands grabbing the purple sunglasses off of Law’s head in an all too startling realization for the senior doctor. He put the glasses on and grinned as Shachi looked around.

“I do, but I was dragged here by a friend.”

“Friend?” They both said in unison, attention fully grabbed as they observed the notably empty space next to him. Suddenly, Law was all too grateful for the Luffy’s weakness for distractions.

“Yes. What are you guys doing here?”

Law turned his head in a subtle attempt to check for Luffy who was now trying his hardest to reach for a record on the shelf, one level in height with Law’s own shoulder. There was a touch of irritation at the idea of Luffy struggling, intensity building as his ability to help was thwarted by a side conversation.

“Gift shopping.” Shachi emphasized by holding up their bags, establishing his position as designated pack mule as Penguin was notably empty handed. “Would go a lot faster if this guy would –”

“So, who’s the friend?” Penguin pressed again, leaning into Law as he pulled on his sunglasses suggestively. Law narrowed his eyes at his friends probing question as he briefly considered answering in earnest about the meetings.

It was as good an explanation of his sobriety as any.

Law straightened his lips as Penguin watched him, the stare demanding an answer and making his silence all the more suspicious. Their staring contest was cut short as a gasp came from their side, Shachi turning to Penguin and grabbing his jacket to pull him close.

“Peng. That’s the kid.”

Penguin stopped his scrutiny to lean over Law’s shoulder, face dropping in a shift that left Law feeling uncomfortably out of the loop.

“Oh shit.”

They both shared a knowing glance, one that Law didn’t understand and only brought more questions to his mind. Interest mounted as he imagined the mystery person who seemed to impact them into shock.

“What –”

Law turned around, a move that startled Penguin as he made a strangled noise in his throat and threw his arm around the senior doctor’s neck. In one swift motion, he found his shoulder tucked in as they formed a huddle.

“Shhh. He’ll see you.” Penguin was whispering, a choice that seemed odd when contrasted with the conspicuous position they were in.

“What?” Law asked, closing his eyes as he noticed his volume. Why was he whispering too?

“Remember that patient from a couple of months ago? The difficult one you left us with.”

Law frowned. He didn’t – most of his interactions weren’t exactly with the faces of patients, after all. Between that and his ever growing workload, it was a miracle he remembered the names of his colleagues.

“The one who gave Bepo a black eye.” Shachi added, giving Law a pointed glare as if it were obvious who they were talking about.

“Come on, Bepo doesn’t even get into fights with patients. This kid was –” 

At once the residents paled when black hair came into view, the circle breached with ease as Luffy poked his head next to Law’s shoulder. Shachi and Penguin flailed backwards in a return to standing next to each other, body language tense and straight that only made it obvious who they were talking about.

This was going smoothly, Law thought.

Luffy stared at Shachi and Penguin, eyes wide in confusion as they gawked at the intruder. They exchanged glances at Law who just sighed in exasperation, the option of leaving becoming incredibly attractive as the interaction carried on.

“Torao? Who are these guys?”

Luffy turned to Law, pointing at the two who were now gawking at HIM for a variety of reasons he could pick out of that sentence alone. Law could see the surprise turn to vested interest as their eyes shifted between them, Luffy looking at him expectantly, and the implications of his continued appearance at his side.

Coupled with the nickname, he was absolutely not getting out of an explanation.

“Your…” Penguin began, brows raised.

“Friend.” Law supplied as he tried to get ahead of whatever could possibly be at the end of Penguin’s sentence.

“Friend.” Shachi repeated the word as if he just learned it.

Goodness, they were as subtle as a freight train. Law gave a glare that dared them to draw more conclusions, silence hanging between them while Luffy stood at his side.

“But we are friends, right Torao?” the teen asked, blinking in a way that showed the conversation went completely over his head.

A sputtering laugh from Penguin cut through the silence as he found his voice, the innocent admission melting away the tension in an instant.

“Oh gosh. I can’t believe Law hasn’t introduced us sooner.”

Law could.

“I’m Penguin.” The first man spoke, snickering as he gestured to the redhead next to him who was grinning much to Law’s dismay, “And this is Shachi. We’re also Law’s friends.”

“Really?”

“Coworkers. They’re also doctors at the hospital.” Law amended, hoping the additional status would encourage them to behave.

Such introductions were all the other three needed to start up in spirited conversation, Law watching helplessly as the sides of his life converged in the middle of a music shop. Penguin asked about the record that Luffy was holding, the discussion drifting to talk of bands Law had never heard of.

He tried to follow most of the exchange, his attention grabbed when it veered into dangerous territory about his work.

“So, Law runs into the patient room with several other nurses, all of them ready to go with a crash cart because they hear the beeping from their room, right?” Penguin tells the story between choked pauses, pointing at Law who is burying a head in his hand.

Embarrassing work stories about him, mostly.

“And what do they see? A teenager, mouth full of peanut butter sandwich, watching a hospital drama and looking at them like he’s been caught with a hand in his pants.”

There was an eruption of laughter that got them stares from the other patrons, the attention only furthering the embarrassment the tattooed man felt.

“Why would they let you watch those IN a hospital?” Law defended, his logic drowned out by the other three who were already undone at the mental image. As Luffy doubled over, hands gripping his sides as he shook, Law couldn’t deny he was pleased that the probing questions got lost in the chatter.

Even if they were at his expense.

“Ah, sorry Law! That story is just too good.” Penguin wiped a tear, his other hand giving Law an apologetic pat as he continued, “But I promise you, he’s actually a fantastic doctor. He’s the one who actually did your surgery, we just did the post-op because he was out of the office.”

Oh.

Law tensed as Luffy looked at him, the two of them exchanging contrasting glances once the admission dropped freely. The words of his friends played back in his mind as Law quietly put together a timeline, the weight of his lack of memories sinking in further.

A couple of months would have been late October, wouldn’t it?

Of course, he didn’t remember.

Law could see the gears working in Luffy’s head, questions probably rushing in and ones Law knew he couldn’t answer about his absence in the aftercare. Law opened his mouth to speak, Luffy doing the same and both of them turning back to the others as the redhead cut in.

“It is our obligation as doctors to check, however.” Shachi said, attempting to put on an air of professionalism despite all of their teasing, “Everything healed well, I take it? I can see you’ve definitely improved.”

“Yup! All better now.”

Law watched as Luffy grinned at the compliment, putting an arm up to punctuate his acceptance of the praise. It seemed his mind was off of the identity of his mysterious savior, if for only a moment.

“Compared to how we found you, yeah.” Penguin added, putting the sunglasses on his hat, “I did want to ask though. Did everything work out with that other patient…”

He trailed off before a snap punctuated his found answer.

“Ace? We didn’t have him as an admission, unfortunately, but you seemed really upset once you woke up.”

“Enough to put out two of our nurses, even.”

Shachi and Penguin chuckled at the thought, casually making small quips about the one nurse who Bepo tried to save that earned him his shiner. Law sat on the outside of their conversation, taking in their before he realized Luffy’s voice died out amongst the jokes.

It was oddly quiet.

Even for him.

Law turned to check on the teen, curiosity mounting on top of concern as he noticed the uncharacteristic silence, feeling the concern overtake everything as he saw Luffy’s expression.

It was the same look he had given him earlier when he tried to get them a taxi.

A neutral stare, something far off from where he actually was and just as transparent as before as he heard the name. It was a reaction that Law had previously chalked up to other things – Luffy was unpredictable first and foremost.

But this one was something even he could read, and Law stumbled through his emotions as the realization dawned on him.

“Penguin, Shachi, I think –”

“Two nurses? Really? Oh, sorry about that. I guess I don’t know my own strength.”

Law paused once two of them were speaking over each other in the way they had almost done earlier, this time his own words failing him as Luffy joined the others. It was a fall from grace that had gone entirely unnoticed by the others and he felt an ache in his chest.

Somehow, it seemed worse that Luffy had started to smile again.

As the conversation continued around him, Law grit his teeth at the anger now replacing the worry. The source was unknown, yet he didn’t stop himself from acting on it all the same.

“You know, I – I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to keep talking about this.” Law knew his tone was a far cry from the cheerful back and forth, the other three looking at him with surprise at his sudden reprimand of the junior doctors.

“Hey, Law. Sorry, what’s –”

“We should probably go, excuse us. You guys enjoy your night.” Law wasn’t sure who he was getting more irritated for, himself or Luffy and he refused to stick around to figure it out. Grabbing Luffy’s wrist, he led them out of the store, avoiding the concerned looks and rushed goodbyes trailing behind him.

The hallways had emptied some, making it easier for Law to wander aimlessly through the aisles as he tried to sort his feelings.

“Torao –”

Law stopped in his tracks as Luffy called out to him, the rapid heartbeat under his fingertips a reminder of what just transpired, and he pivoted quickly to explaining himself.

“Sorry, they were – God. Sometimes they talk a little too much. I should’ve said something.”

Law looked around as he realized they had walked some distance from the music store, now in a section of the mall he didn’t recognize with an ever confused Luffy staring at him.

“You’re…okay?”

The question felt grew foreign with each time that he asked.

“Yeah.” Luffy said back, the reassurance punctuated with a warm smile and Law felt a tinge of doubt at the sight as he sighed, taking a seat by the plush bench in the middle of the walkway and running a hand over his face.

He could feel the cushion sink in as Luffy joined him, and they sat in silence as the holiday music played faintly in the background.

“Sorry, we didn’t get to buy you a gift.” He murmured, disappointment barely concealed in his voice with the reaction surprising Law himself.

“Well, I got these.”

Law saw bits of orange come into view as Luffy held out his palm, the price of his outburst clear in the shoplifted sunglasses. There was a string of curses said under his breath as Luffy laughed at his misfortune, pleased enough with his gift even if it was accidental.

“Something OTHER than that.”

Luffy put on his new glasses, making a long humming noise as he thought carefully about his answer and Law felt the tension pass. Sitting on the tip of his tongue were so many questions about their evening and he vacillated between probing or letting it go.

Still, looking at the display next to him, the teens demeanor told him maybe he was imagining the whole thing. It was a prospect entirely likely if his own tendency to over analyze was anything to go by.

He should drop it, then.

“There’s a bike shop down the hall, you can get me a light so I can ride in the dark.” Luffy was already on his feet, gesturing his hand upward in a bid to have Law do the same, “I almost broke the shop bike so Sanji doesn’t let me do night deliveries anymore.”

Luffy’s lips were straight as he delivered that news, the admission meant to be serious, but the sunglasses made it impossible to take it as such.

How he managed to be amusing without trying was a quality Law both envied and admired.

Standing to meet the other, Law allowed himself to be led by the orange-shaded wonder. Luffy seemed content to move on with their shopping and Law concluded going along with it was the least he could do.

For now, it was the only answer he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I should start this off by saying that my workload has sort of picked back up again outside of fanfic so the updates will be a little bit slower (seeing as how this is nearly two weeks out) but don't worry, I have this fic planned out pretty well so nothing should change as far as my motivation to update.
> 
> Things are picking up between the two of them! I think. I hope it's clear in the way that I've written it, the little interactions between them are fun to write and boy it's hard to keep it all above water sometimes haha. 
> 
> As always, thanks for any attention you give this fic, I will always appreciate it!


	16. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! Thank you thank you to all of you who watched me take little break from this fic, apologies that the time for this update is probably my longest yet. But, stuff happened and I tried to work through it with some other writings. 
> 
> anyways. cuteness ahead and thank you to all of you lovely new readers on this fic! you guys are so nice omg.

Law could hear the voices outside of the door as he stood in front of the mirror. He was on his third twelve hour shift, this one dragging on into thirteen with every patient that came in. Of the things he had seen – including a self-inflicted gunshot wound that brought its own complications – the stresses of the day didn’t leave him room for much mentally.

“Merry Christmas!”

It was a wonder anyone had holiday cheer in this place. Splashing another handful of water onto his face, Law sighed as he soaked in the uninterrupted calm before ferreting around in his pocket. The fact that he couldn’t check his phone was a mild annoyance – one that held a tinge of irony considering the busy schedule was his own doing.

Searching for the small electronic, Law paused once he felt smooth wrapping paper under his fingertips and a wayward pulse in his ears. The day had gone on so long that he didn’t even realize he was carrying the object until now, a surprise that ate away at his exhaustion momentarily. As he pulled out the small box, Law swallowed at seeing the red paper.

He hadn’t opened up the gift just yet. Luffy hadn’t badgered him about that choice, surprisingly. Even in their time at the mall, Law would absentmindedly check for the box while they were out and even after they separated at the station. The reasons for his abstinence were few and far between, a choice that was narrowed down as he thought of the date. He could remember the words Luffy said to him, his insistence encouraging as Law looked at the tag.

It was a wonder HE had any holiday cheer right now.

How quickly he had adjusted, too. The thought of today had brought with it so many mixed emotions – ones that he made so many choices over the last month to prepare for. And yet, as he unwrapped the paper in a small hospital bathroom, Law felt the ball of excitement swell in his chest. Weeks of work undone in an instant as he opened the box and pulled out a small gold chain.

Not a strange gift, he concluded. Luffy probably thought his earrings were lonely though he wasn’t one for jewelry despite them. Law looked over the small links, the object light in his hands and something he could see wearing for a whole shift. As he draped it over his fingers, there was a concentrated weight that drew his eyes to the bottom, the flat charm at the end now in full view.

It was a heart – though, not one that brought any real idea of affection with it. The design was anatomically correct, the stillness a far cry from the way his own pulse pounded gently in his veins. Law couldn’t help but wonder where Luffy had gotten the idea to even buy something like this.

Maybe it was in this gift that Zoro had refused to come with them to the mall that day.

Or maybe Luffy knew more than he let on, seeing as how Law held his heart at one point.

Law scoffed at the possibility. The shock on Luffy’s face didn’t allow him to entertain the thought further as he slipped the chain around his neck. Law took in the sight in the mirror, tattooed fingers playing with the charm and the little curve of his lips as he admired it.

Law quickly put a hand to his mouth as if wiping the little smirk away and tucked the charm under his shirt. It was just a gift. Nothing more. He would have to thank Luffy properly the next time they were together, but for now a text would do. As he took out his phone, Law navigated to his thread with Luffy with ease and saw the most recent message he had gotten from the teen.

It was a picture of him with a black tie around his forehead. It was tucked under the “gifted” sunglasses, the color standing out in the dim bathroom lighting because of their neon color. Next to him was a man with a long nose, a blue feather boa around his neck, and a curly hair peeking through equally ridiculous frames. They held up piece signs in the mirror and Law felt his eyebrows tighten as the curve returned with a vengeance.

**Luffy (20:15): Merry Christmas! See you soon :)**

Law checked the time on his phone at seeing the message. It had been an hour and a half since Luffy sent the photo, a fact that made him rethink responding at all. Law stared at the blinking cursor, finger hovering over the text box before retreating to his previous thought.

He would thank Luffy properly the next time he saw him. That party would still be going on, right? He had the location back when Luffy first invited him, a bar within walking distance of their meeting spot. Bars in Dressrosa had extended hours during the holidays – a choice that used to be a saving grace for the times he was too busy to drink on shift.

Now he had a different reason to rush to a bar after work.

\-----

“You’ll have to go home eventually, Law. The holiday pay isn’t that good.”

Law didn’t look up from the clipboard at Dr. Kureha’s words as he walked through the hallway. They hadn’t spoken much since he came back to work, not for lack of trying but Law knew she was cautious of him ever since he called her. The statement was laden with something urging him of self-care placed behind a reprimand.

Surprisingly, the feeling was mutual.

Law huffed as he checked his watch. Another hour had passed and there were still patients coming in, his current focus on the follow up for an older woman who needed a follow-up on her appendectomy. With the overflow in the waiting room in mind, Law was only kicking himself more for choosing to work in the emergency department of all days.

Still, maybe Luffy would be there when it was done. Law tried to put it out of his mind as he walked into the patient room, professional façade immediately at work as he looked over the chart once more.

“Hello, Mrs. Deerborn. I’m Dr. Trafalgar, I’m the one who performed your surgery this morning.”

Law didn’t look up from the chart as he spoke, grabbing a pair of gloves from the caddy on the wall. There was an impatience in his movements as he put the clipboard away and made his way to the body under the sheets.

“This morning? Goodness, that was ages ago. What’s a young man like you still doing here?” The voice spoke, tone full of the playful sarcasm that only came with age.

Law paused undressing the stitches to look up at the woman, a warm smile on her face as she pulled the man out of his hurried examination. There was a soft murmur in the background from the TV and the lack of other sounds became all the more prominent. Looking around the room, Law realized the patient he was talking to had been by herself.

Alone. On Christmas.

Not many older patients came in like that, and Law tried to straighten his expression as he thought of how his actions must look. He tried not to be so mechanical when checking on patients but tonight, his mind was elsewhere.

“You know how it is. Everyone seems to have an emergency on these days.” He replied, an attempt at something casual to put the older woman at ease.

“I see. Your parents must be very proud of you.”

Law swallowed back the discomfort as the woman spoke. The conversations were never surprising as family talk was something many older patients loved to venture into. Still, it dug into him all the same.

“They are.”

No need for past tense, not if it meant more questions.

“These days always bring me back. I have a son – looks around your age, actually. Christmas is his favorite holiday, so we used to do so many things. Special chocolates, sugar cookie houses – oh, how he hated gingerbread.”

The woman had started on a tangent as Law continued his observations. It was easier for him if the patients kept talking so he would fill in with little hums and affirmations as needed. Whatever kept her on her children and out of his business.

“They don’t visit much, too busy with their own lives. But every year, I make a sugar cookie house and share it with the neighbor children. They seem to enjoy it.”

She paused as Law redressed the wound, the two of them settling into a comfortable silence as he sat up.

“You’re doing well, Mrs. Deerborn. You might even get out of here by tomorrow.” He said, going to remove his gloves before an emptying IV bag caught his eye.

Great.

Annoyance flickered into his face before Law reeled it back, the woman still watching him. Whatever nurse had made this his problem would hear it but right now, there was no way he could leave now. Thankfully, IV bags were easy to change and he could alleviate his guilt all at once by staying with the woman for a few more minutes.

“It’s nice to hold onto traditions like that, you know.” She began, continuing their previous conversation as Law grabbed a bag from the cart and moved to the other side of the bed.

“Do you have anything you do with your family?”

Her pursuit of placing emotions at his feet was tearing into Law’s resilience more and more. Of course, the woman wasn’t acting maliciously in the way she asked him to exchange such talk. Today was the kind of day that looked strange and sad when one spent it alone. It was something that shed in every question when he noticed the married name on her chart yet the emptiness of the room.

“I always say you should cherish the time you spend with your loved ones.”

For Law, it was the sort of minefield he hated the most. Therapy had been kind to him in that it allowed him to work at his own pace, no questions about things he wasn’t ready for. Robin had been more than gracious to him in that respect and he longed for the barrier now. It was something he couldn’t describe – the way that he had drawn lines in the sand that his subconscious only kicked muddy when he slept.

Shaking fingers grabbed the emptying IV bag, the tension coiling in his jaw as an assortment of things came to mind without mercy. They were little things that didn’t warrant such a response – a Christmas tree in a living room, the branches hugging gifts around its feet. The room covered in tinsel and lights sitting above a fireplace and mantle. He could think of those things, try to see them but they looked so unfamiliar.

“Time spent turns to memories and you’ll just start wishing before you know it.”

_Fuck._

He hung the plastic of the new bag above the hook, a prisoner to the things his mind decided to present to him without warning. A man with black hair, kneeling in front of the tree and laughter that warped as it echoed. The man would always be turned away from him and Law would always remember that best. It was a game his psyche liked to play when he was goaded into it and one that Law had been on a losing streak for years.

_Fuck. He couldn’t do this he couldn’t fucking do this._

The more he thought of it, the easier it was to warp the lines. Easier for him to think of the room in its warmth and life, figures he knew deeply but remained strangers walking around the room with no attention paid to him. The image taken away in a second as he blinked, everything as his mind wanted him to remember – bloody, cold, and still. A man on the floor, his back to Law and details he couldn’t fill in on the other side.

_The blood was easier to remember._

Hands steadied as they grabbed the plastic spike and quickly, firmly pierced the bag. It was not out of his wheelhouse to work when this happened, it was just easier to ignore before.

_The faces were not._

Anger sat in his stomach like a red hot ball of nickel, heat and acidity burning anything in its path. It was a little fucked up how much he wanted to blame this poor woman, yell at her for rubbing his nose in this but it wasn’t her fault. She was trying to be friendly in her own far too intrusive way and Law was a professional to the end.

The thread of his endurance had run thin and having finished his work, he became all too aware of the silence sitting between them.

“…You’re right. I should call them.” Law finally said, pushing back on the lump in his throat as he felt the snap in that patience and the writing on the wall. He wasn’t sure how his face looked when he peeled the gloves away, the two of them exchanging pleasantries as he maintained his composure.

The next few minutes would go by in a haze like that.

His body distant from his mind as another pin dropped, another realization dawned, and a crushing ache in his chest led him to a supply closet. This wasn’t a panic attack, this he knew. Those were familiar, terrifying but normal for what he was going through. It was an uncomfortable utility to learn what made his body rebel against him and therapy was spent trying to soften the blow.

Law had spent so much time thinking about his family’s murder – their bodies, the room, the fucking _gunshots_ – that it was a permanent feature of his thoughts. Nothing was new about the details he could piece together, remembering it second nature much like his previous routine of a shot of vodka every morning.

But it was no coincidence that those thoughts came to him most when he was drunk, sprawling and clinging to Law as he tried to push them away. How easy it was to remember the things that pained him, hurt him until he couldn’t feel anymore. It was a cruel game the way some memories twisted and grew three heads in his mind, making him desperate to drink away _anything_ that could put him back in it.

Replaying the episode with his patient was doing little to refute the results of those efforts.

He stood in the small closet staring at nothing in particular as fears mounted and stood high on his shoulders. There was a passing moment of emptiness before Law felt the telling warmth of tears on his cheek, his body finally catching up to his racing thoughts.

This was unfair.

Law made a choked noise as the tears started in earnest now, sinking to the floor as the conclusions pummeled him without mercy. It was a special kind of irony for him – he spent so much time fearing he would be reminded of what the days could have been. That he would get lonely when he thought of holidays spent with family and the memories would hurt him more than any flashback ever could.

All he wanted was to forget and it was in this the addiction would repay him tenfold.

Law covered his mouth as he suppressed the cries, a recognizable feeling of loss washing over him and settling comfortably in his chest. Grief was a funny thing, he thought. It was something he spent years trying to escape and now it was here, finally closing the gap in a way he hadn’t thought possible. Now he wasn’t just grieving death – saying their names wasn’t as painful anymore – but the loss of everything that came with them.

Little things he let get swallowed by his inability to cope.

Law was startled by the sound of knocking at the door that bit through his tears. He looked up around the closet, the syringes and intubation tubes staring back in a stark reminder that made a half hysterical laugh escape his lips. He came back to work. He was still here running from something that followed him everywhere he went.

Pulling himself up, Law grabbed whatever supplies he thought looked the least suspicious and walked out of the room, ignoring the annoyed huff from the nurse who clearly was having a longer night than him. His body was floating between relief and exhaustion in a dance that signaled to him he should probably go home.

Before anything else can catch up to him, anyways.

“Law!”

Law turned to see the voice calling back to him, quickly wiping on his sleeve as he felt the tight skin on his cheeks and grimacing as he rethought the hasty contamination. It was Dr. Kureha, still here despite her insistence that there had to be something more interesting outside of this hospital. She was handing him a clipboard in an all too familiar routine before she dumped a difficult patient on him.

“Can you go check on this patient? The guys in the emergency department are too busy and you seem free,” she started, a strange expression on her face as she looked at his hands, “and after this, I need you to go. home.”

It was the kind of request that booked no tone for argument and Law swallowed a relieved sigh at the directive. He took the clipboard in between the supplies and made his way to the patient room, realizing belatedly just how much Dr. Kureha watched out for him and how much he would have to thank her when he was more put together.

Though, depending on this patient, maybe she was punishing him instead.

Law opened the door, donning his professional skin again as he started to open the metal booklet without looking at the patient in bed.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Trafalgar, I’m going to be the one taking care of you –”

“Torao!”

Hearing that nickname made Law drop everything in his hands – the catheter and suction pump made Dr. Kureha’s face make more sense – and look up at the teen who seemed more than excited to see him.

Which is what made the sight ahead of him all the more alarming.

“What happened to you?!”

The red was the first thing to catch Law’s eye, the color deep and sprawling in a scene that made his stomach sink into his feet. Luffy was grinning from ear to ear despite the blood in his mouth and eyes, his forehead still spilling in a jarring contrast for the doctor.

Law didn’t wait for an explanation as he grabbed a pair of gloves, his mind a jumble that left little space for thought behind his actions. Before he knew it, he was at patient table side and looking at the wound with an urgency that betrayed his usual cool exterior. Law couldn’t stop the string of questions that ran through his mind as he pushed back the sticky bangs on Luffy’s forehead.

How serious? Does it hurt? Did someone do this to him?

“Torao?”

Law paused his twisting and turning of the head underneath as the little voice spoke up. He looked down at the wide eyes looking back at him, Luffy’s chin pinched between gloved fingers. Law felt the tightness in his face from his brows furrowed for who knew how long and it was in this realization that Law inhaled sharply, the panic in his response obvious to everyone but him.

He was a doctor for goodness sake. He’d seen bloodied patients before.

“You.” Law began, letting go of Luffy’s chin and turning away from Luffy to grab the clipboard from the floor. “What did you do?”

Despite the intake sheet telling him everything he needed to know, Law wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth. Law uncurled his gloves by the door, changing them as excuse to face away from Luffy and reorient himself. There was nothing different in Luffy than his other patients – he was even warned of the teens clumsiness back when they were just doctor and a stranger that was always around.

Seeing him like that shouldn’t have been such a surprise.

“I fell off of the stage while we were doing Karaoke! Usopp fainted when he saw it, which was kinda funny.” Luffy said with a laugh, the cheerful tone doing little to assuage Law’s concern. There was a huff of exasperation from Law as he made his way back to his unbelievable patient, lifting his head again to finally assess the damage.

Seeing Luffy still smile with blood on his face seemed appropriate. Looking over the wound, Law felt a weight lift off of him as he concluded a suitable treatment.

“Well, it looks like you’ll just need stitches.” Law said, relief permeating his tone as he walked back to grab the supplies from the back counter. “You should pay attention next time, who knows what could’ve happened if you fell backwards. Hell, you could’ve taken an eye out.”

Law had gone into full “doctor mode” as he chided, listing worst case scenarios that made his attempt at education seem more like a string of complaints from a parent.

“It isn’t like you’re invincible, so be careful.” Law huffed, walking back to the patient table with the materials and drawing a laugh from Luffy who sat patiently through his rant.

“Hey! I’m very careful! Just…not all of the time.” Luffy mumbled, looking away sheepishly while Law tapped his wound with antiseptic. “Besides, I’ve got you to take care of me if I get hurt.”

Luffy grinned at Law who merely kept his focus on the wound.

“Idiot. I won’t always be around to help.” Law shot back, unsure if he was trying to convince Luffy or himself.

The two of them sat in silence as Law performed the necessary preparations – injecting the local anesthetic and cleaning the wound as Luffy watched him carefully underneath. Law usually had an audience with these procedures but having Luffy of all people see him felt more nerve wracking than ever.

It was as if he had someone to impress. Threading the needle, Law turned Luffy’s head towards the opposite wall as he positioned himself next to the wound above Luffy’s brows which were furrowed slightly as if in thought.

“Torao.” He began as Law placed the needle point under the skin. Law made a questioning hum, waiting for whatever question about his work Luffy would inevitably have with the way he was staring.

“Were you crying?”

Law tugged his hand back abruptly at the question, swallowing a curse as he saw one suture was tighter than the others.

“Why?” He asked, keeping his voice steady and reorienting Luffy’s head back when he tried to make eye contact.

“…Your eyes are really red.” Luffy said quietly, undeterred by Law’s attempts to hide as he shifted his eyes towards the doctor.

Of course. Having come straight from the supply closet to Luffy, Law hadn’t even had a chance to see his own face or calm down properly from his emotional outburst. A mix of emotions cropped up at the realization – embarrassment and mild anxiety were two he could pinpoint – with the overwhelming one being comfort in the fact that Luffy was the one who saw him.

“You can see it better in the light, huh?” Law muttered, threading the needle under the skin once more as he thought of their first meeting.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Law cut in, realizing how little they seemed to talk about the strange ways in which they’ve met, “It’s just…the holidays are rough for me. Have been for the last few years. It’s pretty hard when you no longer have a family to celebrate with.”

Luffy kept his eyes on the wall as Law talked. In their meetings every week, Law hadn’t actually spoken much about his reasons for going to the meetings outside of his abstinence. Therapy covered that front so far and such personal struggles felt like a secret he was determined to hold close to those who didn’t already know.

“Oh.” Luffy said simply as if soaking in the weight of the admission, blinking contemplatively and Law could tell that he was searching for the words to say.

“…How are you always ending up as my patient anyways?” Law sighed, keeping his tone playful as he tried to stop Luffy from diving into awkward apologies for deaths he had nothing to do with. Luffy chose to be a model patient this time, keeping his eyes forward and giving a laugh absent of the same playful tone as he caught the joke as the gravity of their conversation weighed further. 

From this angle, Law could see the large scar against Luffy’s chest and the things they managed to avoid Wednesday reared its ugly head. The questions he hadn’t asked were sitting on the tip of his tongue and Law felt the curiosity overtake his desire to lighten the mood.

“So, that day…” Law trailed off, hoping Luffy could fill in the rest. Law paused as he noticed he only had one more stitch to make, taking extra care to finish it while also using the time for Luffy to answer.

“…Car accident.”

Law finished the last knot as Luffy answered, giving another light tug to test the strength of the sutures before putting the needle down on the side table. Luffy seemed to take this as an ending of the conversation, standing up without hesitation and Law decided against bringing up anything else.

Maybe they’d shared enough for one night.

\-----

“So, did you guys have any traditions?” Luffy asked, putting his hands into his coat pockets, and looking at Law with his usual curious stare as they walked through the hallways. Their conversations after the stitches were devoid of any further personal talk, instead opting to go for topics where they would rank holiday songs from most to least annoying and the like.

Still, he didn’t quite mind questions if they were from Luffy.

“Well, yeah.” Law searched his mind for something that stuck with him in his long abstinence from celebrating. Cora used to ask him the same questions and Law usually had better answers – something of homemade ornaments and other activities lost to time.

“Nothing stands out though.”

Law felt Luffy grab on his arm as if he had been waiting for that response.

“Then let’s get cake!”

“Cake?”

Exactly what had been going through Luffy’s mind this whole time was always a bit of an enigma for Law and this was no different. Still, there was a look of determination in Luffy’s eyes that told Law he wasn’t going to get out of whatever the teen had planned even if he wanted to.

“People eat cake for celebrations. Christmas is a celebration. So, cake.” Luffy said with a nod, stringing together the logic with ease and leaving Law to procure the sweet. It was nearly midnight which meant the options were few and far between outside, everything closing early for the sake of the holiday.

But they were on the first floor of the hospital which gave Law some idea of where they could go.

“The cafeteria.” He said, the implication of his words clearly lost on Luffy who gave him a raised eyebrow, an excited glint in his eye at the mere suggestion of food regardless. “It’s still open, they might have cake there.”

The idea was enough for Luffy who beamed at the how easily Law was going along with this, laughing breathlessly as if the excitement was going to spill out of him. Looking at him, Law felt a tiny sense of pride at the fact that, for once, he’d managed to do something that made Luffy just as excited about his own little plans he came up with.

The holiday cheer seemed less misplaced, now.

Luffy started to lead them to the cafeteria, a decision that proved amusing for Law as he saw the inner workings of Luffy’s mind up close. He would take them a few steps, pause as he realized where the smell of hot food was coming from, and then lead them a different way much like a strange little puppy. Law would make a mental note of the little behaviors in case he needed Luffy to lead them somewhere for lunch in the future.

Once they found the cafeteria, Luffy rooted out the desserts immediately, grinning triumphantly as they walked towards the glass case.

“Ooooh, everything looks so good.” Luffy said, a string of drool hanging out of his mouth as he looked at the different pastries and clearly lost sight of his own suggestion for cake in the first place. Law watched as he crouched down to look at all of the shelves, eyebrows furrowed in contemplation as if making the most important decision of his life.

Somehow, Law could relate to that sort of feeling when it came to this. Looking back at the case, Law looked at the various types of cakes and cookies, silently weighing his own favorites against ones he thought Luffy might enjoy more.

“Red velvet?” He suggested, suddenly far too curious to see how it would be received.

“I was thinking yellow cake…”

“So, both then.” Law concluded, a decision that got him a wide eyed stare as if Luffy didn’t consider that option.

Or maybe didn’t consider it from him of all people. Law wasn’t sure which option he preferred more. Reaching in the case and grabbing the two clamshell containers, Law heard a gasp underneath that made him pull back in rethought of his choice.

“What?” Law loosened his grip on the cakes, self-consciousness mounting as Luffy ignored him to run past the soda fountain, landing in front of a refrigerator full of drinks and pulling out two bottles of milk.

“Can’t have cake without milk!”

Luffy held up the drink and Law stared at him a moment, the same feeling he had earlier when opening the gift coming back to him in full force. Law couldn’t help feeling impossibly silly for how much he was enjoying himself, and he grabbed the cakes without another word to Luffy who followed him asking questions of his wellbeing.

He was okay, more than that even.

As they got their cakes and sat down in the dining area, Luffy opened up the yellow cake and bit into it without hesitation. Picking up his own fork, Law wondered which topics were still on the table as he picked up a piece of the red velvet.

“Aren’t you going to miss the party?” he asked, going for a bite of the yellow cake at the same time as Luffy and retreating quickly as their forks brushed. Luffy stuffed another piece of cake into his mouth and hummed quizzically at the question.

“I thought about it. But then you mentioned spending Christmas alone.”

Luffy was switching between cakes as he talked, outpacing Law who was still on one bite for every three of his.

“Besides, you said that the holidays were rough and, well, I grew up in a foster home until I moved here so, I get it.” Luffy paused, reaching for the milk as the dry cake bites caught up with him and taking a sip.

“…not having a family making it hard, anyways.”

Luffy’s casual approach to some topics never faltered now, and Law took another bite of cake to give himself another buffer of silence as he processed the statement. They had a lot in common and it was strange just how happy he was to hear the ways in which their similarities lie.

He wouldn’t call it hope, but damn if it didn’t feel close.

“You mentioned doing things with your brothers, before. What happened to making those kinds of memories with them?” Law asked, taking a sip of his own bottle of milk, and tapping his fork against the plastic as he conceded to Luffy’s appetite.

Luffy blinked at Law’s question, his hand lingering a moment too long on the bottle before taking a gulp and returning to the pastries. He had finished the yellow cake and started to pick up a piece of the red velvet, silence hanging between them as Luffy kept his interest on the cakes and not the question Law had asked.

“…I’m making those with you now.” Luffy mumbled, finishing the second cake, and leaving Law to process his own startling admission of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing to add here but again, thanks for your patience and your interest in this fic! I really do appreciate it, truly. You all are lovely and waaah the feedback in any form is always nice.


	17. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Long time no post, I won't give many details about what's going on in my life but I was one of the people in the path of that winter storm and...phew, recovery takes a little time here. But, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it's very long and I hope that makes up for the time gap. Thanks for all of your patience!

Law’s mind was elsewhere as he sat in the stuffy meeting room, the cold outside only highlighting the heat passing between the attendees as they sat in their usual circle. He wasn’t in the best mood today and it was obvious as he dragged blunt fingernails of over the cup sleeve while sandwiched between a snacking Luffy and a sleeping Zoro in their usual routine. The two of them seemed completely oblivious to his discomfort and Law was all too thankful for their interest in the group.

The last week had been less than good for his nerves.

It was the kind of thing he expected to come from burying himself in his work but, the way it had cut into his weekly routine was not. Not having the option of therapy left him with little options for ironing out his feelings on everything else going on and he couldn’t deny that he was looking forward to going to the weekly meetings more than ever.

He could remember the feeling the past Wednesday all too well – of being on shift and finishing up with his last patient, how he looked at the clock before realizing much too late that he had missed most of the meeting. How easily his night had gone south that day and the nail in the coffin of his frustration was texting Luffy to tell him he couldn’t make it. Their meetings were the only free time he had this week to talk to him and all it did was drag forward more stress at the thought of leaving him alone in that room.

Law stopped dragging his nails over the coffee cup to look at the snoring cashier next to him before taking a sip.

Basically alone, anyways.

Stress generally had one outlet for Law. It was itching under his skin like a warm bite as he thought of the only thing that would scratch it. His minor breakdown on Christmas had made that abundantly clear that he wouldn’t be able to shed off the little things that built up over time. Such fears followed him into the next week as he tried to find solace in the little celebration he’d had with Luffy.

As far as he knew, things were okay. Nothing had come up that day as they walked through the streets together, looking at Christmas lights with Luffy singing carols at the top of his lungs to reclaim his lost karaoke time. Law even hummed along to a song or two before the rest of the night was devoted to hot chocolate and Luffy celebrating actually seeing his gift hanging around Law’s neck. Letting go of his worries had rewarded him with a calm evening and a nice memory of something he wouldn’t mind doing again if given the chance.

Cake on Christmas wouldn’t be a terrible tradition, would it? Still, it couldn’t shield him from the whiplash of work keeping him busy and exhausted every day since then.

Law took another gulp of the coffee as he listened to the last member speak, the tremble in his hands hidden nicely by the weight of liquid in his cup. He wanted nothing more than to leave after spilling his worries before hiding away in the comfort his apartment. It was the kind of overwhelming desire he couldn’t remember having after attending these groups regularly, yet the pull of his old habits had come back with a vengeance.

He glanced over at the teen who met his eyes after a moment, feeling the gaze on him and giving a cookie crumb laden smile in response. Law sighed as he felt the weight settle in his stomach as guilt ate at him. Despite the regular group meetings, lifestyle changes, medications, and all other treatments he still felt the intense gnawing of _something_ that was an all too familiar precedent to a cocktail in his hands.

It seemed like the kind of shortcoming that Law didn’t want Luffy to entertain, not when his progress was so far ahead. He couldn’t let Luffy see him like this.

Law was brought back to present as a clumsy wave of claps rang out through the room. He had been waiting for the signal to leave and yet, hearing it now only made the bit of anxiety he felt at the idea of leaving quickly. Luffy had been more than excited to see him at the group this evening, even giving Law a hug at the foot of the steps in a reunion that felt more for a separation of months rather than one week.

It was the kind of over the top that felt out of place even for Luffy. But Law decided not to question it further as he thought of the alternative of attending the groups without him.

Even he would miss Luffy a little bit.

Just as the group died into murmurs and quiet shuffles of members grabbing their belongings, Law took the opportunity to kill off the coffee before he heard a voice through the startled snorts of Zoro waking up beside him.

“Oh, Law. I wanted to talk to you.” Gwyn said, now next to him as the other two sat staring away obviously – a poor imitation of giving them some privacy. Law turned quickly, caught off guard by the smaller woman approaching him at all after his regular attendance.

“Is there something wrong?” Law asked, giving a small cough, and crushing the cup in his hands as he tried to steady them. Usually, the only person who she spoke with was Zoro in little confrontations that Law wasn’t privy to, instead opting to wait outside with Luffy who seemed happy to avoid hearing whatever made the green-haired man come out more irritated than ever.

What she could want with him only felt more of a mystery when she gave him a quizzical look, eyebrows raised before sweeping her gaze among the three men.

“No, but you didn’t come to the previous meeting. So, we didn’t have a chance to give this to you.” She began, picking up a velvet bag from behind her clipboard and holding it up with a small shake that signaled some exciting reveal.

“Do you have a moment? It’s actually recommended that you have some friends to attend your first coin ceremony. So, I’m glad to see you three are still keeping in touch.”

Law blinked as he processed the words, watching as she pulled out the yellow coin with a smile. It was a gesture that made him all the more confused by the very achievement he was supposed to be a part of. How long he had been coming to these meetings wasn’t something he tracked out of sheer avoidance of the waiting game.

Though, if Law had to guess just how long he had been without drinking his confidence was still shot on the idea.

‘An Eternity’ didn’t seem like a suitable answer.

Law stood awkwardly as Gwyn spoke in front of him, the audience of two now watching them with interest now that their attendance was welcome. Luffy sat with his legs wide apart, hands planted between them as he swayed slowly from side to side as if trying to be courteous yet bursting with excitement. Next to him, Zoro sat cross legged, his expression stoic and unreadable despite his staring.

If anyone was going to watch this little milestone, Law wondered what it said to have these two around.

The speech went in one ear and out the other as he looked down at the coin she placed in his palm, seeing the same design on it that he could recognize from Luffy’s own. The grooves were shiny and new compared to the tarnished one that hung around his neck in a contrast that only made Law think of the gulf between them again. Turning the coin over in his fingers, seeing the one in the center only made the gravity of his current situation sink in further.

One month.

He wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“And all of us here are proud of what you’ve accomplished so far. You’ve come a long way from your first meeting, even contributing some helpful advice to the newer members and I think they really appreciate it. So, again, congrats on your hard work.”

Law had little time to process the commendation as he felt a smaller body on his own, fingers scrambling to grasp the coin as Luffy threw his weight on him. Laughter overshadowed the sounds of soft clapping as the other two gave their own show of praise that wasn’t knocking him over.

“Agh! Luffy –” Law called out in an attempt to ask for his arm back, balance tipped by the teen who was already too into his own celebration to do hear it.

“One month? That’s great, Torao!”

Whatever complaints he had were lost as his annoyance was met with the little show of excitement. Genuine emotions were the one thing that Law had little trouble figuring out about Luffy, such things worn on his sleeve and leaving little space for doubt in Law’s mind. It was a part of his personality that made some of the things he said hard to swallow at times and now was no exception.

“It’s – um, yeah. I guess it is. Thanks.” Law murmured, the feeling of ambivalence falling quickly to the infectious warmth of Luffy tipping the scale towards something akin to pride. Law pocketed the coin as he watched the colors of copper and blue bounce against Luffy’s coat zipper.

It made sense that he was better at this.

“Oh, we’re going to be at Sanji’s tonight! You should come, we can celebrate!” Luffy suggested, his grip unmoving in a way that made Law want to curl in on himself as the rejection sat on his tongue. Even as his hand sat steady against his side, the rest of him was ringing with alarm at the mere idea of seeing those tremors come back. He swallowed, feeling the burn of his nerves crashing into the heat of shame at his own internal conflict.

“Luffy, tonight isn’t any good.” Law said firmly, pulling his arm back gently and biting down a grimace as he saw that grin wash away from Luffy’s face as disappointment flooded in. “Sorry.”

Law held his breath as Luffy took in his simple apology, seeing the telltale signs of Luffy ready to throw his excuses back in his face, eyes narrowing slightly, and his mouth pulled into a straight line with an ask hanging on his lips. Questions were something Luffy had in excess and this fact hardly bothered Law now – it even allowed him his own confidence to let loose his own pressing questions. But now, answering him in earnest felt like a stab to the whole show of progress displayed tonight.

“…are you sure?” Luffy asked, his tone lingering with an ask of permission for pressing further and Law merely nodded in response.

“Another time. I’ll be coming to these meetings for a while. No need to bring out the champagne every month.” Law said, raising an eyebrow in an attempt to be casual in a response that proved unconvincing to Luffy who tried to close the gap between them more.

“You’re –”

 _Lying._ Law’s mind supplied unhelpfully, and he only felt the need to go on the defensive claw out from under his skin.

“Listen, Luffy. I just – I’m allowed to have a bad night, okay?” Law cut in, stepping back in an attempt to escape the gaze that had moved on from curiosity to concern and one he didn’t want to look at any longer. Feeling the breeze of their third group member passing ahead of them, Law turned towards Zoro who was going towards the door and he took the cue to follow without hesitation.

There was hanging silence behind his footsteps before he heard the sandals starting out – slow and cautious as if weighing the idea of following until they steadied into a regular rhythm. Luffy was quickly back at his side as the three of them walked through the doors, talking to Zoro about dinner and Law took the opportunity to disengage quietly as he stared at the sky.

Law put his hands into his pockets, curling fingers around the metal coin as he tried to keep himself together. It was startling how easily time had become a villain in his attempt to heal. His early days of no alcohol had been tough, everything in him a response to the lack of numb existence and as time went on, he hoped it would mellow out into something manageable.

A gentle push and pull of his vices that to ignore while he tried to work through everything else. Yet, he hadn’t considered just how everything would evolve with him. How easily the open cravings would just turn into something hibernating instead, waiting for the moment to tear through the weakest parts of him with ease.

There was something bitter in the idea that time healed all wounds when it seemed his merely shed their skin like a snake.

“Torao? Are you coming?”

Law looked down to the realization of two sets of footsteps ahead of him, the three of them having walked a block as he completely spaced out. Luffy and Zoro looked at him expectantly as he stood on the other side of the crosswalk in a contrast that highlighted his mental state. He was distracted, even going in their usual route to the street corner where they separated would prove to be a challenge and Law reeled at the thought of being so openly out of sorts.

“Actually, I’m going to walk around the block for a bit. Luffy, I’ll text you, okay? See you next week.” He said hurriedly, giving a small wave and not waiting to see the reaction or the further questions Luffy would have as he walked away. The echo of confused murmurs could be heard behind him as the other two continued on and Law walked until he got to a bench out of sight.

He would just wait until they were gone, deciding instead to bide his time with passing cars as he waited in the cold. There was a curling ache in his stomach as Law took in several deep breaths, the feeling not going away, and confusion mounted at the lack of relief before he felt the rumbles of hunger start to pepper into the waves of pain.

Oh. Law hadn’t eaten today on top of everything else and the sudden realization only thrust eating dinner to the top of his list. The hunger proved to be a useful distraction from the phantom taste of vodka on his tongue and he let it guide him as he made his way back towards his apartment.

A few minutes of walking brought Law to the familiar block of restaurants and bars that he had run into Luffy at after their first meeting together. Getting takeout before he get home was an easy choice as the idea of cooking barely fit in his ‘quiet night at home’ ideal. 

Law looked over at the food truck on the corner – an amusing sight as he thought of the improper bartering tried before and he tossed aside the idea of getting dinner in case Luffy ruined his reputation.

Across the street, he noticed the small standee on the street that tucked underneath several neon signs from the neighboring businesses. It was a promising sign if the other businesses were anything to go by, the likelihood of running into large groups low at a small restaurant like that. As the walk signal came on, he walked closer to the red letters until they came in view.

BANBAN EATERY

Law passed empty tables covered in ice as he reached for the handle before pulling back with a moment to spare, the door flying back towards him and a hurried apology being thrown in for good measure of whatever damage was to come as curly hair passed by him. Turning around, the delivery boy was none the wiser of his mistake, fingers fumbling with the bike lock as he bent by the parking meter.

Too hungry to argue, he opted to find a silver lining in the fact that they did deliveries.

Inside, the small storefront and seating betrayed the amount of space that the inside of the building held. The signs of age were seen in the walls, brown wood fading around the bright wall sconces and assorted photographs. There were lines of tables to his left sparse with groups and families sharing friendly banter between bites.

“Hey! Welcome to Banban.”

Law followed the sound of the friendly voice to his right, the blue hair catching his attention before the smile ever could. The girl stood behind a cash register next to more bar seating that wrapped carefully around the open kitchen and additional seating he couldn’t see from the door. Behind her hung a small chalkboard scrawled with the date and five bullet points.

“These are the specials we have for dinner. The chef just makes whatever he wants but it’s all really good,” she was handing him a menu with a more legible text version of the chalkboard writing as she continued explaining, “It changes day to day, so you’ll always find something you like here.”

Accepting the plastic cover, Law was grateful that he didn’t have to bring his handwriting deciphering skills outside of the hospital. From his side, there was faint laughter coming from the part of the restaurant that sat out of view and he tried to shake away the distraction while perusing the sheet.

“Ooooh, you changed your mind!”

Law had little time to react as he was grabbed once again by the forearm, the small hand and familiar grip coming in a blur as he had a guest join him in his menu reading and the black hair obstructed his view.

“Wait, Luffy? No, this place was just nearby –”

His protests fell on deaf ears as he was ushered away from the counter.

“Whatever he ordered, just tell Sanji to bring it by our table. Okay, Vivi?”

He looked back helplessly at the cashier who was just smiling sweetly and doing little to stop the open abduction. The laughter intensified as they made their way to the back, Law still calling out to him and Luffy using the ruckus as a buffer for ignorance.

“Aaah!”

As they turned the corner, there was a group of men standing around one side of a table, the occupied half full of beer bottles and still holding more as the redhead slammed another one down with a flourish.

“Pay up, seaweed man!”

Law recognized the usually sleeping Zoro who was now putting his own bottle down aggressively and groaning in frustration at the girl next to him. She was grinning from ear to ear with her palm out, curling fingers quickly as he pulled out his wallet and placed a Beri bill into her hands.

“Thank youuu.” She sang, turning to the group who seemed to be unofficial judges of this drinking contest and blowing them a kiss that they accepted far too graciously, “and thank you boys for making my life a little richer.”

“Nami, he already has to pay you. It would seem there was no reason for the bet you made.” A wide afro spoke up from across the table tucked above a lanky man who barely fit in the space. He sipped casually from a glass of iced tea, his calm demeanor one that didn’t fit in with the rest of the excitement.

“But you were crazy enough to do it WITH knowing that, Zoro!”

Zoro glared at the muscular man who was sharing a laugh with the others, his blue coiffed hair and tanned skin seemingly in place if the cashier was to be any bar for the types of patrons. The ribbing only seemed to sweeten the victory as Nami flipped her hair over her shoulder in triumph while Zoro grabbed another drink.

“Shut up, Franky! It was a drinking contest, I figured I could at least win THAT.”

It was nearly impossible to describe how out of place Law felt and yet it was completely lost on Luffy who was already putting him down in the empty seat next to Zoro. The energy didn’t die down at the new addition to the group and Luffy seamlessly blended into the chaos, his laugh just as spirited as the rest and its effect on startling Law just as prominent as the first time he heard it.

“Luffy, if you’re going to bring in any more strays, at least warn me.” A blonde man scolded, placing down dishes on the tabletop.

“Hahaha, sorry Sanji!”

The smell of cigarette smoke hit his nose faster than the smell of meat, grilled vegetables, and rice being placed on the table and making the hunger pangs the only thing Law could focus on. The idea of going home was losing quickly to stuffing his face and Law cursed how simple he could be sometimes.

“Ugh.”

As he was handed a menu, he met eyes with the blonde who was shooting him a disgusted glare visible between airy tufts. The extended eye contact allowed him to notice the curly eyebrow poking behind the bangs and Law searched his memory for any patients he slighted with such features.

“It’s never women. Always MEN.” He grumbled before returning to the trays of food situated next to the table and Law furrowed his eyebrows at the realization of a staring contest with a pervert. Sanji was circling the table and placing more plates on the surfaces that Luffy grabbed from at all angles, his reach without limit if it came to eating.

Law decided to bury himself back into the menu, reading over the limited options slowly to stretch out his hiding and think of a feasible excuse that would get him back home.

“So, who’s your friend?”

He poked his head further behind the plastic until it was covering his hair.

“Oh, this is Torao! He’s a doctor –” A pause was heard between loud gulps, “Like Chopper, but a big deal. He was the one who put my forehead back together.” Luffy beamed, pointing to his eyebrow while stuffing his cheeks with meat again.

The others reacted with hums and awes of amazement and the menu had become the only thing standing above the tabletop. The smell of food was strong, and he noticed a plate come into view as Luffy passed it to him. He sighed, learning to accept that defeat was par for the course with the teen and he did so with spoonful of rice.

“You’re a doctor? Do they have a treatment for stupidity or is that terminal?” Sanji spoke calmly as he set a final plate down in front of Zoro, the move rife with thinly veiled aggression as his elbow pushed the head of green hair into his nth beer of the night. It was a move that broke the flimsy grip on the bottle, the liquid spilling out between him and Nami who was less than thrilled at the move.

“Sanji!”

A flip switched in his reaction to the redhead and Sanji was apologizing profusely, tone sweet and whipped as he handed her a towel.

“Hey, what’s the big idea, shitty cook?!” Zoro growled as he grabbed the collar of the chef, anger dripping with the wasted beer.

“Your drinking is the reason you had to go to those meetings in the first place, moss for brains.” Sanji spit, blowing a cloud of smoke into Zoro’s face as the tensions rose between them. Law searched for answers in the rest of the group who was floating between indifference and scrutiny in a strangely casual response.

This was normal, then.

“And you don’t get to lecture me about my drinking when you’re still sucking on cancer sticks, curly brow.” Sanji’s insult was punctuated by a snatch and subsequent trashing of the cigarette in his hand, the other twisting his fingers further into his shirt as they glared at each other. There was mixture of angry growls coming from the pair as Law watched the fight with far too much interest, the words exchanged sinking in his stomach like a stone.

_As a doctor, I don’t think you should smoke._

It was an argument that Law would bitterly recognize, and he felt his throat tighten as he swallowed another bite of food.

“Hey, you two! Break it up already.”

Nami was getting between them as their argument turned into more heated barbs, fist and leg flying up in an escalation none of the group wanted. The commotion faded as Law retreated into his phone, scrolling through the screen as the thought of going home crept further up on his list of priorities. He tried to ignore the shaking of his hand as he went through his contacts in search of one who could give him a convincing excuse.

Building Manager.

Bepo.

Cora –

That name. Law blinked as he saw the name in his phone, vision faltering as he read the letters over and over again, yet the word registered as foreign in his clouded mind. He could only shut his eyes as the shouting continued between the two men and other members of the group had joined in, more commotion piling onto his racing thoughts and making it impossible for Law to find any ground.

He was in a restaurant called BanBan Eatery, in front of him sat two – no – three wall scones, the tables were brown and he –

“Torao?” Luffy questioned, observing Law’s expression with the additional scrutiny only making his attempt to put a leash on his reaction more difficult. Law squeezed the phone in his hands as he looked over at Luffy, fingers trembling now from the sheer amount of tension working itself through his nerves and words became yet another trial by fire in his attempt to maintain.

“Uh – just – nothing, I’m fine. It’s –”

It was as if his tongue was making sounds he didn’t recognize, flopping uselessly in his mouth while the tightening in his throat only pushed out breaths that choked him further.

“Is there something interesting in your phone?” Luffy asked, craning his neck to look at the screen in a move that would make Law recoil with pointed refusal of the intrusion. It was a move that only made Luffy more interested when he furrowed his brows, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

“What? No, I –”

Law couldn’t stop the grabbing of his phone as Luffy slipped it from his hands, holding it at arm’s length to inspect it further and handling it with such casual disregard that his heart climbed into his throat.

He couldn’t lose it, not again. Not when he still hadn’t –

“Luffy, please –”

Law heard the strain in his voice as he tried desperately to conceal how little he could handle this on top of everything else. He could see the darkness circling as the tunnel vision set in, his eyes glued to the phone and not on the teen who was scrolling without a care.

“It doesn’t look like – Oops, the screen went off.”

Law reached his hand out as he tried to wrestle back the device from Luffy who took the opportunity to tease him with it in an attempt to diffuse the tense situation between his friends. The arguments dissolved into white noise as Luffy shifted the phone this way and that, his precarious movements only adding to the anxiety crawling under Law’s skin.

“– just give me –”

Law made a last-ditch effort to grab his phone through a pull on Luffy’s elbow, the move only causing him to awkwardly bend the teens arm inward and his grip on the phone would loosen in the scuffle.

“Woah, watch out!” Luffy exclaimed, twisting his fingers around the phone as it bounced around and his laughs now grating on Law’s last nerve. He was stressed, far too stressed to deal with the world’s most carefree recovering alcoholic. Of all things, tonight was supposed to be a chance for him to work through his issues but instead all of them were taking the chance to test his willpower and Luffy seemed to be no different.

Such blissful ignorance of his distress only mutated Law’s frustrations into anger and the string of his patience snapped.

“LUFFY!”

All at once, a crash that supplemented his shout as Luffy fell onto the table, the impact cut fiercely into the atmosphere and everything around them dissolved into silence. His tattoos made his fingers look like a gradient as the dark washed into white, grip tight on Luffy and the teen looked at him with wide eyes, his mouth falling open in shock as he was pinned to the table.

“H-Hey…”

Law’s laser focus on the phone was heightened only by the ringing in his ears, tension aching in his temples and jaw with free range of his skin that made his vision blur around the sight underneath him.

“Hey, Torao –”

The sounds of glass shattering against the floor broke through to Law as he noticed dishes rolling from the spot where he had made space for Luffy.

“Wait –”

Law was nearly heaving from the sheer amount of adrenaline that was pouring through his veins while the streams of consciousness from the room flowed in. Metal against metal echoed from the kitchen, the only spot in the restaurant that couldn’t watch him unravel in real time and the realization of the audience he had made his face hot with embarrassment.

“Oh – Oh no, I’m sorry.” Law said breathlessly as he released his hold on Luffy. His thoughts were in a freefall as the adrenaline crash swept through his nerves. It was bad enough that something as small as losing his phone could spin him into a panic, but now he could see the frayed edges pulling loose the other threads of triggers he didn’t even know were sewn into the fabric.

Law tried to maintain a steady movement as he pulled out his wallet and tossed out several bills onto the table, not checking the denominations with the hopes it would be enough.

“I still have work to do. I have to go, I’m sorry.”

He didn’t bother to stay for Luffy’s reaction, the quiet shuffles of the other patrons even louder than his shoes against the wooden floors as he walked right out of the doors. Remembering just how cold it was made him hiss with anger and he took a few more steps ahead until he found an alley that would break his contact with the biting wind.

Deeming the area isolated enough, he looked at his hands to survey the impact on his nerves and could see the phantoms of his fingers shaking against the moonlight reflected on the sidewalk. Law knew the stress was bad when his grip left little imprint on Luffy’s clothes, the haphazard movement shifting the shirt.

The look on Luffy’s face was just –

“Fuck.” Law cursed, burying his head into his hands.

He shouldn’t have stayed there, and he knew it. Law went over the evening in his head as he tried to pinpoint where he could’ve made a better decision, this Choose Your Own Adventure type of rumination his specialty given the singular event in his life he wished desperately to change. It felt like a special kind of torture that he couldn’t even ground himself long enough to separate a joke from his fears.

Not that he could separate himself from these things even if he wanted to. The drinking helped with that.

The shaking in his hands compounded on top of the drought on his tongue that made him thirsty for a liquid water couldn’t hold a candle to. He dug in into his pocket for the coin again, the item only bringing forward a helplessness as he thought of the cravings tearing through his body.

At what point was he allowed to think of this as progress?

“Torao?”

Law squeezed his hand into a fist which only gave the tremors license to go up into his arm, a reaction he decided to deal with later as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Luffy was in front of him, a silhouette against the moonlight and Law was grateful that they couldn’t see one another.

“Oh, good, you’re still here! I thought you would’ve gone home already.”

The moonlight barely touching on the outline of Luffy’s coat was dangerously reminiscent of their first meeting. Law grimaced as the emotions he felt hit him like a freight train, the thought of where he was that day coming back to him – barely hanging on to his addiction as he cried over a friend lost to the same consequence.

Somehow, he could see that happening to him again tonight.

“I just needed a minute, that’s all. Listen, I didn’t mean to –” Law began, searching for the words that would sound the most apologetic without laying his turmoil out in the open.

“I’m sorry!” Luffy’s apology tumbled out in front of his own and Law bit down the desire to speak over him. “If I scared you, I mean.”

“Um, no. Don’t worry about it.” Law murmured. It seemed unfair to accept an apology for something that wasn’t Luffy’s fault and even in the darkness, he could tell Luffy was worried as he watched Law crumble in place. The two of them stood in silence, Law trying to hide his shaking as he leaned against the wall and Luffy turned towards the sidewalk.

“Do you want to go? It’s kind of cold out here.”

It was a suggestion that Law found himself welcoming eagerly and he walked ahead of Luffy who stood at the opening of the alleyway. The same hesitation in his steps as earlier was evident as Law got a couple of steps ahead and realized the absence of the teen next to him. He turned around to see Luffy holding onto his hat, a contemplative look in his eye before he looked up to see Law waiting for him and threw it on without another word.

The city had grown quiet in their time outside and Law tried to thread his thoughts together into something coherent as Luffy sat at his side, stealing glances he thought Law hadn’t noticed. He could feel the cold glass of his phone underneath his gloves and he thought of how stupidly precious the little electronic had become.

Why he was holding onto such painful things was beyond him.

“Your phone.”

Law blinked as he looked down at the sound of Luffy’s voice, previously keeping his gaze on the dark emptiness in an attempt to project whatever he wanted onto it as they approached a street corner. The movement of their conversation to the sidewalk meant Law could see Luffy clearly now, the teen looking up at him with a curious glint in his eyes that Law found impossible to not answer with something.

“My phone? What about it?” Law asked, the attempt at ignorance unconvincing as Luffy’s eyes trailed down his arm before meeting his again.

“You really like it, right?” Luffy began, leaning over to reach the crosswalk button, “It must mean a lot to you if you’re willing to wrestle me for it.”

Law could hear the passing amusement in Luffy’s tone as he glanced up at Law, lips curling into a smile.

“You gotta apologize to Sanji when you see him again, by the way. He hates wasting food.”

Law huffed as he remembered how easily he had ended up in the one scenario he avoided all evening. The idea of running into Luffy’s friends again seemed impossible and he wasn’t even a little aware of how they would take a stranger slamming their friend into a tabletop.

Still, Luffy hardly spoke without reason and maybe his outburst was forgiven in the aftermath.

“Noted.” Law curled his fingers around the electronic, mind wandering as he tried to find a proper answer to the question.

“My phone is…important. Probably more than anything else I have right now.”

He looked over at Luffy who was hanging on his every word as they walked, a sudden weight on his response at the attention and Law realized looking at the street was a far better strategy.

“It just holds a lot of meaning for me. You know the old friend I mentioned on the train? Everything we last talked about is in this little square. I can’t just…” Law trailed off, his mind filling in the blanks with thoughts of letting Cora die with his recovery.

He couldn’t do that to him. Not when the man had given him the reason to start quitting in the first place.

“Let it go?” Luffy supplied, an answer that Law much preferred and he gave a nod of agreement.

Luffy had begun playing with the rim of his straw hat as Law talked, tipping it up and down along his bangs as he listened to the small admissions passing between sounds of the city.

“… So, it’s like my hat.” Luffy concluded, pulling the straw off his head and admiring the worn material, “I got this from my neighbor when I was a kid. He lived next door to my first foster home.”

Law shifted between the hat and Luffy whose smile had only grown the more he looked at the hat, admiration and excitement building as if holding a precious treasure in his hands.

“He would always tell me stories about the places that he traveled – he went everywhere. I remember thinking about how much I wanted to go, get out of that house…”

Luffy’s smile faded at the last statement as he put the hat back on. 

“And he said one day I would get to go see the world just like him. But he moved a year after I got there, and I haven’t seen him since. He helped me a lot during that time and this hat is all I have left.”

The teen still had his hand on the top of the hat, giving it a gentle rub on the holes that littered the woven material.

“So, if someone took it from me – if something happened to it, I’d be pretty upset too.”

Law nodded knowingly as he took in the story. He already knew Luffy of all people understood what he was going through, this was not a new revelation. Yet, the idea that some things were still so different felt like a useless view the more they talked and Luffy handed him reasons to believe the opposite.

He squeezed his hands into a fist as he thought of the trembling in his limbs.

“Luffy, do you ever want to just…drink?”

Law strained to ask the question, suddenly aware of how much hope he was putting on the answer to relieve his own anxieties.

“…Not really. No.”

Law couldn’t help feeling slighted despite knowing it was an option. Luffy had been going to these meetings much longer than him and handling himself in a way that Law could only aspire to. It made perfect sense that he wouldn’t be dealing with the same things as him even when everything else formed his ideal overlap of unfortunate situations.

Of course, maybe misery just loved company.

“But, I understand it.” Luffy said, fingers tangling around the coin necklace as he spoke with increased focus on the metal passing over his fingertips, his brows furrowed in thought. Law took his hand out of his jacket pocket and removed the glove to let the cool air pass over his skin, looking for anything to calm his nerves before feeling something warm tucking underneath his palm.

“What?”

Before he could even react, the feeling of skin on skin had come into his mind as he felt a smaller hand tangle itself into his own. Law instinctively tugged his hand backwards in the excitement, Luffy returning the retreat with his own more forceful pull and grinning as the touch was accepted without complaint.

“Luffy, what are you –”

“I forgot my gloves at the restaurant when I came out here.” Luffy gave a little squeeze of his hand as they walked up to the street corner, “and I told you it was cold so. This helps a little, right?”

Law could only blink in surprise as he looked down at the contact, his fingers still shaking as much as before with Luffy’s own sitting steadily in the grip. Words had failed him once again and he instead decided to look to the street corners around, realizing how close they had come to his apartment as he moved on instinct and Luffy let himself be led for once.

“Yeah.” Law said, feeling the chill nip as his face as the blood rushed under his skin from the gesture and Luffy would say nothing as he felt the trembling that spoke more than Law allowed himself to.

As they walked, he looked over at Luffy who was using his other hand to still touch at the coin, a realization dawning on him as he thought of the ceremony from earlier and the ever present constant of the necklace since they met.

“Are you going to get a new one of those?” Law asked, watching as Luffy narrowed his eyes at the question before craning his neck downwards. Luffy’s hand fell slack in Law’s as he turned the coin over to look the number, his expression calculating as he thought of the question.

“No, I – this one is fine.” Luffy let go of the necklace, tucking it behind his zipper as he tightened his grip on the now steady hand in his own.

“I don’t need to count the months, not anymore.” Luffy said quietly and the silence followed as they stayed connected through warm and cold palms passing scant heat between them. It was a statement that had established the role of time as similar, yet different, and Law could only swallow the way it made him think of his own recovery.

One month.

For now, he would make do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for any and all feedback you give this fic, I really do appreciate it! Thanks so much for your support.


End file.
